Clues For The Clueless

So my apartment complex likes to leave these crime prevention tips with us residents each month. I guess because I'm living in a gentrified part of town with lots of upscale bars, nightclubs, liquor stores, homeless people and the Metrorail within blocks of the complex they think we should worry.

(I guess they've never noticed the huge number of cops that are always hanging out at the Starbucks just down the street who do nothing all day but hit on the women employees and drink the overpriced coffee.)

The tips are all of the commonplace things you'd expect. Don't leave your iPod sitting in the car -- especially where it can be seen. Always lock your door when you go out. That kind of thing. But I have a crime prevention tip for the complex dolts who leave these memos sticking out of our doors. Don't leave them sticking out of our doors.

Want an easy way to find out if someone's out for the night, then just check the doors. Those with the memos sticking out are the ones that aren't at home because the notices aren't put on the doors of empty apartments and those of who are at home have already thrown ours away. So go to a door with the notice sticking in the door, pick the lock, or kick in, then go to town.

But put them in the mail, or hand them out when we pay rent, and voila, that problem is gone.

So that's my crime prevention tip for the month. Make sure that the people running your apartment complex don't leave clues on your door that indicate that you're not home.