Filibustering the Senate: Aeros Defeat Binghamton 3-2

File photo of Corey Locke courtesy of Fred Trask.

The saying is that desperate times call for desperate measures. And trailing 2-0 after one period, and 2-1 after two periods to the Binghamton Senators, one would think the times demanded desperate measures from the Houston Aeros. Especially when considering that, for the season, the Senators had yet to lose a game in regulation when they were leading after two periods. Or that the Senators were 15-2-1-0 when leading after one period.

And with the Aeros down 2-0 after one period, after having gotten off only five shots for the first period, it can be said that Aeros coach Kevin Constantine went with the desperate measures. And those desperate measures were really just one move. He put the newly-returned-from-Minnesota Krys Kolanos on the same line with Corey Locke and Benoit Pouliot.

“I was really happy with that grouping,” Constantine said after the game. “We were down two-nothing and I just wanted to try something different. Get a different look.”

That different look led to a gorgeous Kolanos goal on the power play at the 3:00 mark of the second period. But though the Aeros outshot the Senators 13-7 in second, they were still trailing 2-1. Then came the third period, a period in which the Aeros outshot the Senators 11-5, and which saw the new Kolanos-Locke-Pouliot line connect for another goal at the 2:44 of the third to tie the game.

But even then, the score didn’t come easy as Senator goalie Martin Gerber, who has spent most of his career in the NHL, didn’t give the Aeros, or Corey Locke, who got the goal, much breathing space. “I was just waiting for something to open up, to see if maybe he would give me something to shoot at it,” Locke said. “And he didn’t give me much and I was just trying to get it on the net, five-hole. I just hoped.”

It was a shot that had Locke firing the puck from the circle to Gerber’s left, then gliding in after the puck to pick up a rebound which never came after the puck bounced off Gerber’s glove and leg and into the net.

Brandon Rogers, with the help of a nice pass from Benoit Pouliot, put the Aeros up 3-2 at 14:56 of the third with another of those desperation measures. “I don’t know. I blacked out,” Rogers said after the game. “I didn’t see it. I got a good pass from Pouliot. I saw their d-man (Mark Carkner) standing there. To be honest with you, I was pretty tired, and just shot it as hard as I could and it went on the net and just sort of trickled in. I was kind of surprised it went over the line.”

The Senators, for their part, credited the Aeros hustle, but basically stated they quit after the first period.

“After the first period,” Binghamton center Zack Smith said, “we didn’t play at all. I’m not surprised we lost.” And as for Rogers game-winning shot, Smith gave partial credit for that to Carkner who Smith claims deflected the shot out of the reach of Gerber.

So whether it was desperate measures on part of the Aeros, or lousy play that let the Aeros back into the game on the part of the Senators, the fact is that before their largest crowd of the season, 11,838, the Aeros got the 3-2 win.

SOME MISCELLANEOUS GAME NOTES:

Watching the first period, one couldn’t help but have a flashback to Thursday night’s debacle. Kevin Constantine was pleased with the effort of his team in the first period, but he was rather distressed by the two goals that Nolan Schaefer allowed. “We just got to have our goalies start a little better for us,” he said.

He disputed my assertion that the team appeared a little out of it in the first period, saying “I don’t think we got off to a slow start. I thought we got off to a good start. Kolanos had the breakaway. We had some good chances.” And while I agree with the Kolanos assertion, I’m not sure I agree with him about the good start.

It looked to me like Kolanos came out on fire and trying to prove a point. And I thought the line of Mitch Love-Matt Kassian-Jason Ryznar played with energy and knocked some of the Binghamton guys around a bit. I wasn’t too pleased about the efforts of the rest of the team in the first period.

However, it was like a different team came out in the second period. I think teaming Kolanos, Locke, and Pouliot together made a big difference. Corey Locke and Benoit Pouliot appeared to play with the same fire as Kolanos, and I was shocked, surprised, and happy to see Pouliot laying some serious hits on some of the Binghamton players.

Corey Locke said after the game that “eveyone’s got to get on the same page.” And for the second and third periods, it looked like, for the first time in a long time, that everyone on the team was actually on the same page.

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In injury news, Marco Rosa and Danny Irmen sat out the game with ankle injuries and they won’t be making the trip to Chicago for tonight’s game with the Wolves. Morten Madsen injured his ankle in the first period, tried to go for a couple of shifts in the second period, but was unable to return to the game after that.

Rosa, Irmen, and Tomas Mojzis were the scratches. Mojzis was a healthy scratch. This was the first game this season that Danny Irmen has not been able to play for the Aeros.

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The Aeros record now stands at 22-19-1-7 (52 points). They are in third place, two points behind the Rockford IceHogs who are 25-19-0-4 (54 points). Milwaukee is far head in first place with 64 points. Iowa is one point back of the Aeros at 22-18-2-5 (51 points). Peoria sits in fifth at 24-20-1-1 (50 points), and Chicago is in sixth with a record of 23-22-2-1 (49 points).

The Aeros are taking on the Wolves tonight, in Chicago. After tonight, they’ll have a five day break between games before returning to the ice to take on Iowa, Quad City, and Chicago – all on the road – next weekend.

The Aeros finished this homestand with a 4-2-0-0 record. And their next six games are on the road, which will be the longest remaining road trip of the season.

And here’s a nice stat to end the night on: with the win, the Aeros are now 5-12-0-3 on the season when trailing after two periods.

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Maybe it was the large crowd, but the music at the game was actually halfway decent for once. When I came up from the press dining room to the press box, I had heard Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” playing throughout Toyota Center. And at different times I heard Prince’s “Let’s Go Crazy and Heart’s “Barracuda” playing during stoppages in play. It’s about time they played some decent crowd music.

But really, enough with the clips from Joe Dirt. Isn’t there some other movie – besides Happy Gilmore – that you guys can use for clips? And would it have hurt to show more replays during the game? It was a TV game; there were plenty of cameras, so you could have shown a few more replays of the action and less of the stupid movie clips.

For tonight’s song, I’m going with a little Blondie.

Here’s “Rapture,” for the mood that Krys Kolanos puts me in when he’s got his stick on the puck.

There Will Be No Game Without Me

So the Aeros are taking on the Binghamton Senators tonight. And there's no way they're playing the game without me. So to help get us all fired up, I'm going to play another of those songs that I think the Toyota Center sound people should be playing.

Without further delay, here is Eminem for the second game in a row.

Heidi's Not Hiding Very Good

And here is one of my all-time favorite SI Swimsuit Issue covers. Of course, it's Heidi Klum.

Scrubbing Away Scrubs

Do any of you out there watch Scrubs? I do. I think it's one of those real rarities. A sitcom that's actually funny. It's also one of those sitcoms that was constantly shafted by NBC which sent it from time slot to time slot, night to night, with no thought as to its audience.

I was hopeful when ABC picked up Scrubs for this season -- partly because ABC produces the show -- and partly because ABC didn't have any good sitcoms. And I was optimistic because ABC was giving it a ton of promotion.

Only...

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

After three weeks, ABC has announced that the show is going off the air for about a month and that will be moved to a different night, to Wednesday's opposite of American Idol. Which means they're setting out to kill the show just like NBC did. Of course, this was supposed to be the last season of the show anyway. But damn, it would have been nice for it to have gotten some respect from a network for once.

Oh well, thanks for letting me rant.

The Plot To Kill The Queen

I saw a story the other day that said, that, years ago, there had been a plot to kill Queen Elizabeth. Now I don't know why this is suddenly news because about 20 years ago I saw a documentary about this murder plot. And if I remember correctly, the assassin was supposed to be Reggie Jackson, but that he was stopped by Lt. Frank Drebin of The Police Squad.

A View From The Seats: Baseball Edition

The blog Big League Stew has a ballpark review of Kauffman Stadium. I link you to the review because I think it's a good one. Also because Kauffman Stadium is one of the best, most beautiful baseball stadiums that I've been too, and I've been to 18 0f the 30 currently in use, along with six stadiums that are no longer being used.

Now I haven't seen the park with the new renovations, and I was there about three years ago, but I thought it was a great place then, and it sounds like it will be even better. So I thought I would share some of the photos from my trip to Kauffman Stadium.

Yep, this bald bastard is me, standing next to my seat for the game.
This is the view from the left field line.

The view from my seat looking up at the first bane line seats.

And here is the view from my seat as they play baseball. It's the Kansas City Royals versus the Cleveland Indians.

And here's the scoreboard.

Aeros Go Down In Flames: Skate Like There's No Tomorrow

Photo of Barry Brust with his eyes closed as the puck flies past courtesy of Fred Trask.

Like his team during the game, Kevin Constantine was rather calm and lifeless after the game. And seeing as how the Aeros had just lost an embarrassing 5-0 shutout to the Quad City Flames before a crowd of friends and family, one would have thought there might have been some anger.

One would have thought wrong.

Kevin Constantine doesn’t do anger after these type of games. He does resignation. He speaks of the team not being able to play after taking days off. He speaks of rhythm and rust. He speaks of lost chances.

“We had some chances in the first ten minutes to get a goal and have the game go the right way,” Constantine said from his office. But when the chances are led by the likes of Paul Albers, Brian Lundbohm, and Morten Madsen, then one really shouldn’t expect too much.

“Our guys demonstrate that time away from the game just doesn’t work for us,” he said about the team having not played or practiced since Saturday. “We’re a better team when we’re tired with rhythm that when we’re rested with rust.”

And no one showed the rust worst than starting goalie Barry Brust who let the first shot he faced get into the net at 12:04 of the first period. Brust let in two goals in the second, then he let in two more goals in the third. And while the rest of the team just looked slow, Brust just looked lost and outclassed for most of the game.

“All you can do with goalies is to try to find a rhythm and play a hot hand,” Constantine said. “I think our goalies are better when they play a lot. They’re going to have to figure out how to come off not playing and play. That’s always a challenge.”

And no one’s going to have to figure that challenge out, at the moment, more than Brust, who Constantine said is going to have earn his playing time from here on out.

The Aeros play again on Friday against the Binghamton Senators. And I would say that one should expect Nolan Schaefer in the goal for that game because Constantine does like to play the hot hand. Then again, there’s the old rested and rust problem with Schaefer. And Constantine does like to play hunches. So honestly I wouldn’t be surprised to actually see Brust skate out to the crease tomorrow night.

But I could be wrong and he could follow through with Schaefer. So show up at Toyota Center for the puck drop at 7:35 to find out. Well that, or read me tomorrow night.

MISCELLANEOUS GAME NOTES:

I knew that the Aeros were doomed about 30 minutes before game time. That’s when I got to my spot in the press box, after having been down in the press dining room, and heard Paula Abdul’s “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow” playing throughout Toyota Center. And it didn’t get better when, just before the team came out for lineups, the sound guys decided to play some dirge from The Smiths.

And it didn’t get better when John Scott was announced as starting at right wing because, seriously, as much as I like John Scott, he’s not a forward. And again, the doom feeling continued because when the game actually started, Mitch Love was at right wing and Scott played the blue line.

About the only time the entire night when things seemed right was when the sound guys played “Beat It” at the end of the game.

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Now some of you might have been wondering about Krys Kolanos. After all, you’re probably thinking, he passed through waivers and was reassigned to the Aeros. So why, you’re probably wanting to know, wasn’t he in the lineup? Well, the answer is pretty damn simple.

“He was here and ready,” Constantine said. “His equipment just didn’t show up.”

I don’t know if the presence of Krys Kolanos would have made any difference, but you might want to file a complaint with Northwest Airlines for losing his gear. Again. Yep, this isn’t the first time this season that Northwest Airlines has lost Kolanos’ luggage. He was called up to Minnesota for a brief stay very early in the season. And he didn’t play that time because, you guessed it, Northwest lost his gear.

“Now he has balance in his life,” Constantine said. But I’m guessing that, if he had his choice, Kolanos would reject that whole balance thing if it meant that he stayed up in Minnesota.

And I’ve got to confess, I’m in agreement with Kolanos on this, especially when you consider that he was sent back to Houston because he’s too talented for the Wild roster.

I kid you not.

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I thought you might like a few notes on how bad the defeat was. For instance, the 5-0 Quad City win was the largest margin defeat for the Aeros this season. And this was their worst defeat since a 5-1 loss to Hershey on January 9. And did I mention that John Scott was announced as the starter at right wing?

I can think of only one way to play us out tonight. And that’s to play the video of the song I heard when I walked to the arena. So here’s Paula Abdul with “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow.” I just wish the team would have played like there’s no tomorrow.

Lose Yourself In The Puck

It's about time for the drop of the puck here in Toyota Center for the Aeros versus Quad City. So to get everybody in the mood, here's another of the songs that I think they need to be playing at Toyota Center.

So "Lose Yourself" with Eminem.

Sex Sells -- The Cover Edition

Continuing with my SI Swimsuit obsession sends us to this SI Swimsuit cover photo of Elle Macpherson

Kolanos Clears Waivers

Michael Russo is reporting that Krys Kolanos cleared waivers and that he will be returning to Houston. What remains to be seen is whether he will be playing for the Aeros tonight since I don't know if he was waiting in Minnesota for a final destination, or if he flew to Houston yesterday. I suppose we'll find out in about seven hours.

Mickey Rourke Thinks He's The Ram (With Update)

UPDATE: Okay. It is now being reported that Mickey Rourke won't be participating in Houston's Wrestlemania event. But please read the post anyway. Thank you.

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I saw "The Wrestler" a couple of weeks ago, and I think it's a really good movie. But here's the deal, I realize that it's only a movie. But I can't help but wonder if Mickey Rourke realizes that fact.

In case you haven't heard, Mickey Rourke is actually going to do some "real" professional wrestling. And he' going to be doing here it in Houston, in April, as part of Wrestlemania, or something like that, against some dude known as Jericho.

Now I know that Mickey couldn't quite make it as a pro boxer. And I know things have been a bit rough for him in the acting biz lately, but...

Dude, you just won a Golden Globe, and you've been nominated for an Oscar. You play this right and you're on the way back to the big money. And pro wrestling ain't playing it right.

Oh, and while I'm on the topic of career recovery, I'd like to mention Melissa Leo who has been nominated for Best Actress. I keep reading about how she's unknown actress. But here's the deal, maybe if most of you people would have watched the great, under-appreciated Homicide back in the day, you would know who Melissa Leo is. She was great on that show -- everyone was great on that show. And she's been working for a long time.

So she's not an unknown, at least to me.

Airing of The Grievances

Excuse me for hijacking my blog for a bit, but...

I had a post the other day over at the mothership which I called the 25 Super Bowl Memes You'll Be Sick Of. I thought it was funny. It was supposed to funny. It was a joke. Now if you read the post, you'll read all of the comments calling me an idiot because these aren't memes.

And here's where I need to hijack my own blog, because I need to explain the thinking behind the thing because it's bugging the hell out of me that a whole bunch of people aren't getting the joke, and I can't figure out why they're not getting the joke.

But first...

Have you ever noticed how, when two men are the sent to the penalty box at the same at an Aeros game, the PA announcer Steve Vidal says that one penalty is subsequent to another. Sure, in real time, one penalty usually comes before the other. But on the score sheet, and on the clock, both occur at the same time, when play is stopped. Thus, if on the clock, both penalties occurred at 12:49, then one isn't subsequent to the other.

Yes, in real time, one was subsequent to the other, but on the score sheet, and on the clock that says when they come out of the penalty box, they happened at the same time. So the wording "subsequent" is not technically correct when it comes to what Vidal says -- and I want to thank Andrew Ferraro for forcing this into my head and now I can't get rid of it, as Ms. C. will attest.

What's this got to do with my "meme" post at the mothership? Well, in some way, like with "subsequent," I understand what they mean in the comments by calling me an idiot for using the word "meme" when these aren't memes. But here's the deal, I know that. I knew that when I wrote it. It was all supposed to be part of the joke.

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

The fact that I'm having to explain this means I didn't do a good job with the joke, or the post, and that pisses me off. But the joke of the "meme" should have been implicit in the post without having it spelled out. It was a post on all of the ideas/stories that the media would get stuck on and write about endlessly regarding the Super Bowl. Though most would be worthless and there would be misunderstandings involved along the way.

And the joke was that the sports media, like everyone else, would jump on the word "meme" and use it wrong, just like they do everything else. Just like they were going to do with the Super Bowl stories. I know what a meme is, but to have explained in the post would have been to spoil the joke. Only nobody got the damn joke and now everybody thinks I'm an idiot.

Of course, maybe some of those people calling me an idiot need to do what I need to do with Steve Vidal and "subsequent," they need to step back and look at the forest and not the damn leaf on the tree.

Now excuse my divergence from the snark and into the serious. I needed to get that off of my chest and I don't get the chance to do that over at the mothership. Of course, that's what I get for trying to go all meta on everybody.

Collinsworth '09

NBC essentially said yesterday that as soon as John Madden retires Cris Collinsworth will be taking his place in the broadcast booth. And if you ask me, this moment couldn't come soon enough.

I'm tired of the whole Madden shtick, and I've been tired of it for over a decade now. Collinsworth, however, isn't about shtick. He just gives analysis. And damn good analysis at that.

So, Madden, how about doing us favor. Retire already. And take Al Michaels with you. Please? I'd surely appreciate it.

Thanks.

News Flash: Bill O'Reilly Is An Idiot

Okay, now I'm not sure of all of the details, but apparently, Jessica Alba is feuding with Bill O'Reilly.

It seems she made a comment about being neutral like Sweden, and Billo went off on her being an idiot because it was Switzerland that was neutral. And Alba didn't like Billo calling her an idiot, so she suggested he check his history, where he would find that Sweden was, indeed, historically, a neutral country.

I could check the history behind this and find out who the real idiot is, but frankly, I don't care. Do you see the picture I posted? As far as I'm concerned, whatever Jessica Alba says is good with me.

Not that anybody really needs to convince me to the fact that Bill O'Reilly is, in fact, an idiot.

There Are No More New Ideas

Hollywood, in its quest to show that the creative world has completely run out of original ideas, has announced that it is turning that classic of intellectual television, The A-Team, into a movie.

The film will be produced by the Scott Brothers, Ridley and Tony, and it is to be directed by Joe Carnahan, the hack who made Smokin' Aces a couple of years ago. I know longer wonder about asking why Hollywood remakes crap like this, I just ask why this particular piece of crap. Why not something like Tenspeed and Brown Shoe? Or Barnaby Jones? How much longer until we get the big screen version of Simon & Simon?

Oh, to hell with it. I give up.

Masterplan, I Ain't Got No Masterplan

I just wanted to remind everybody, once again, that I have absolutely no masterplan for this blog, though I'm planning to start transitioning into heavy baseball mode.

So, here's Oasis with "The Masterplan."

Whine, Whine, Everywhere A Whine

I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

I don't care what Joe Torre said about Brian Cashman.

I don't care what Joe Torre said about Alex Rodriguez.

I don't care that Joe Torre feels the Yankees screwed him.

I don't care. And I'm tired of the baseball media feeling that anything that happens with the New York Yankees, New York Mets, or Boston Red Sox is the most important thing in the world. Because it's not.

Do you know why nobody knew about the Tampa Bay Rays last year -- except for the serous baseball fan -- was that because the only off-season news anyone got last year was about the Yankees and the Red Sox.

I don't care.

But I do care about this. Stop picking on Alex Rodriguez, and stop telling me that Derek Jeter is the great team guy. It was Alex Rodriguez, the so-called A-Fraud, who, though being one of the best shortstops in the history of baseball, and far superior to Jeter, who moved to third stop so that Jeter could stay at shortstop.

So enough already. Aren't there other baseball teams out there to write about? Like, I don't know, maybe the Tampa Bay Rays?

Sex Sells -- The iPod Edition

And continuing with my SI Swimsuit obession, at least until the next issue comes out...

Here is Marisa Miller demonstrating for SI Swimsuit issue readers the correct way to use an iPod.

Kolanos Returns to Aeros (With Update)

UPDATE: As Andrew Ferraro just reminded me, Kolanos still has to clear waivers before he can return to Houston -- the press release didn't mention that. And he's got until 11 a.m. tomorrow to clear waivers. So it's still possible that some other team will claim him. Sorry, Ms. C.

Original Posting:

Wow. Just wow. That's all that I can think to say to this news. The Minnesota Wild are sending Krys Kolanos back to Houston, and they are bringing Peter Olvecky up to Minnesota.

Wow. Just wow.

Nothing against Olvecky, but I don't see what he can add to the Wild. And while I'm happy to have Kolanos back in Houston because that makes the Aeros a much better team, I just don't understand the move because I don't see how this makes the Wild any better.

Like I said. Wow.

But at least this should give Ms. Conduct an excuse to run her Kolanos-smiley photo.

If It Weren't For No Faith, I'd Have No Faith At All

It might sound like I'm picking on the Houston Aeros in this post, but the Aeros just happen to be standing in for the Houston Astros who have done this same thing I'm about to bitch about in the past. So enough of the preamble...

The Aeros are holding a Faith Night on February 21. Show up two hours early for a Christian music concert and a prayer session led by the team's chaplain. And I want to know why?

Like in why are there always faith nights, especially since the only faith involved appears to be that of the Christian faith? There are never Muslim nights. Or Jewish Nights. Or Hindu Nights? Or Atheist Nights. But there are always nights devoted to the celebration of the Christian faith.

Sure, sure you're saying, but isn't every night a night for those of all faiths? And yeah, there's a bit of a point to that. But there are no nights where those of us not of the mythical Christian faith are deliberately shut out of with events at which we can't participate? And can you imagine the uproar that would happen if there were to be a Muslim event before a game?

So what makes the Christians so special? Why can't I have a night set around my belief of The Flying Spaghetti Monster? Or better yet, why have any of these nights at all? No other group of people gets such special treatment before sporting events.

It's bad enough that the best sports arena in Houston has been turned into one of those megachurches, but now the Aeros are turning Toyota Center into some kind of church as well.

And I wonder, are the Lady Dynamics going to be in their skintight shorts and tops greeting the Christians as they pile in? That might be fun to watch.

Does This Rock You?

Rob, the Toyota Center sound guys drive me nuts, as well. I have trouble understanding Steve Vidal, the PA guy -- that's partly his fault -- and I hate the way that when they play Elvis Costello's "Pump It Up" they fade it out before the good stuff really gets going.

As requested, here is Queen's "We Will Rock You." And with this live concert clip from Live Aid, you also get "We Are The Champions." Enjoy.

The Bizarre Career Move of the Year

I don't watch soap operas, and I don't watch the Miss USA pageant, so Kelli McCarty, Miss USA 1991, is a bit of an unknown to me. Still, this latest career move of hers seems to be a bit of the wrong direction kind of career move.

It seems that Ms. McCarty, who was formerly a Miss USA, did some prime time TV gigs, and was on the soap opera Passions for seven years, has decided to make a big career move into porn.

"I enjoy acting,and I really like sex," she said, "so this was the perfect opportunity to combine two of my passions."

I'm not sure that there's a lot of acting done in porn, but still, I can't really think of many major actors who have done explicit sex scenes while working as a legit actor/actress. I also can't think of many people who have gone from Miss USA to porn, though I know of one Miss America who ended (nsfw) up in Playboy, voluntarily, and one Miss America who ended up (nsfw) in Penthouse, involuntarily.

Anyway, I digress. But really, I think it's safe to assume that a career is really going in the wrong direction if you start out on top and end up on the bottom -- puns intended.

The Astros As A National Treasure?

This is amazing news to me. Apparently, the Houston Astros are currently scheduled to have six games on national television.

Six games.

The Cubs are scheduled for 12 games. The Cardinals for 11. The Phillies, who won the World Series are only set for nine, the same as the Yankees and Red Sox. But somehow, the Astros were able to get six games on national TV. That's the same number as the Rays, and the Rays won the American League title and were in the World Series last year.

I don't know about you, but if I were scheduling games for national television, I would want to make sure that good teams were playing in those games, because more people are going to watch good teams play baseball than there are people who are going to watch bad teams play baseball. And the Astros are a bad team.

Wandy Rodriguez is set to be the number two starter. Brandon Backe is set for the fourth or fifth spot in the rotation. The Astros are hoping and praying that Mike Hampton can make it through the season without getting injured. Kaz Matsui and Miguel Tejada are anchoring the middle of the infield.

This is a bad team.

How can they have six games on national television? It just doesn't make sense to me. Unless, of course ESPN and Fox are trying to sabotage their contracts with MLB. Otherwise, the Rays, which are a good team, and an exciting team should have more games on national TV than the Astros.

Does This Mean We Actually Have To Watch The Super Bowl?

Sorry folks, I guess we're actually going to have to watch the Super Bowl this weekend. Yep, that's right, the Lingerie Bowl has been cancelled.

The organizers had had some difficulty in finding a place to play the game, but last week, it appeared that they had settled on holding the game at a nudist resort outside of Tampa, where the Super Bowl is being played. But there were a couple of details that the organizers and the resort couldn't get sorted out.

For instance...

Though they were playing the game at a place known as a clothing optional establishment, the Lingerie Bowl was attempting to mandate that areas of the resort were to be clothing-only, instead of clothing-optional. They were attempting to eliminate the optional option.

"The league will not place our fans, players, staff nor partners in a less-than-comfortable environment that would ultimately jeopardize the mainstream perception and reputation of the brand that so many have worked diligently over these past five years to build," the league's Stephon McMillan said.

Jeopardize the mainstream perception? Jeopardize the mainstream perception?

The league consists of hot women in lingerie playing football. And the games are on pay-per-view television, the home of UFC, wrestling, Howard Stern, porn, and Girls Gone Wild. Playing the game at a nudist resort could only enhance the league's reputation. And seriously, I really doubt that any person actually attending the Lingerie Bowl is going to be shocked or offended by nudity. In fact, I'm pretty sure that anybody attending or watching the Lingerie Bowl is hoping for nudity.

But don't worry, I'm sure that NBC will give us everybody plenty of shots of the Arizona Cardinals cheerleaders.

Sex Sells In The Afternoon

I'm still on my SI Swimsuit model kick. After all, what better way to improve a dreary day? Right?

Here is Molly Sims. Yes, she is wearing a swimsuit, you just have to squint real damn hard.

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star

Michael Irvin might be a doing a Dallas Cowboys endorsed reality show in which the winner gets a spot on the Cowboys training camp roster, but that's not the only reality show that will be hitting the air later this year that deals with the Dallas Cowboys.

That's right, Terrell Owens is doing a reality series. And the reality series will air on VH1 starting this summer.

It's not going to deal with Owens as a Cowboy. It's about T.O.'s off-season life. It will star T.O., his publicists, and various members of his entourage as he handles the off-season.

I'm not sure about what else to say about this. Just that his all of the potential to be just another of the VH1 reality show train wrecks, which is probably what VH1 is looking for.

But if it's train wrecks they want, I bet Pacman Jones would make for the better show.

John Updike is Dead

The current news is that author John Updike has died today.

I'll be honest. I was never his biggest fan. When his stuff was good, it was very good. But his stuff wasn't always good, at least as far as I was concerned. And I seemed to like the books the others didn't, while not liking his stuff the big critics loved.

Either way, the guy was a master of the form and language.

P.S.: I took a creative writing class while an undergrad at the U.H. My prof hated Updike. I always suspected that this was because they both wrote the same kind of stuff, with the same kind of style, and my prof was stuck publishing short stories in obscure journals and teaching undergrads at the University of Houston while Updike was rich and famous.

The Top 25 Super Bowl Memes

It's Super Bowl week, which means a week of non-stop hype. Over at the mothership, I have my list of the Top 25 Super Bowl Memes that will be run into the ground, over and over and over and over and over... well, you get the idea.

And if I forgot anything, then be sure to leave a comment at the Press.

How About Some Linkage?

Just a few things that I thought were worth discussing, but which I didn't think I would get long posts out of. So, here's a little post dump...

The AHL All-Star Game was last night. The Houston Aeros' Corey Locke set an AHL All-Star Game record by scoring four goals for the Canadian team. And Aeros goalie Barry Brust blocked 12 of 15 second period shots for Team Canada. But in the end, the Canadians lost the game.

Speaking of Brust, he did something on Sunday that he hasn't been able to do the entire season. He stopped all six shots he faced in the All-Star Game skills competition. It would be nice if he could figure out a way to stop these shots during the shoot out when it really counted.

There are also rumors out there that the NHL may be talking with FOX about moving over-the-air games from NBC to FOX. In some ways, it would be nice for the NHL to get a better TV deal from a major U.S. network. Then again, it is FOX. And I can imagine them trying to shove Joe Buck down my throat as the play-by-play. And remember, FOX is the one who gave us the glow puck.

And finally, I saw a suggestion the other day that maybe the NHL All-Star Game would be improved if the NHL were to hold an Ice Girls bikini contest. I'm not sure if it would improve the All-Star festivities, but it would probably help out the ratings.

Ric Ocasek Is All Mixed Up

As requested by Rob, here's a video of The Cars performing "All Mixed Up." This is from a live performance in the United Kingdom way back in the day. It's a long clip that starts with "Moving In Stereo" then the next song is "All Mixed Up."



As to Mr. Ocasek, I did a little intertube research last night. He still makes the occasional solo record, but he's primarily known as a producer. He produced Weezer's "Blue" and "Green" albums. He's produced songs for Hole, No Doubt, The Killers, Jonathan Richman, and Bad Religion.

Of course, he's also married to Paulina Porizkova, which should be a comforting sign to all of us ugly guys out there -- if you're rich and famous, you can get any woman. See also Joel, Billy and Rose, Axl among others.

And if I'm playing "Moving In Stereo," then I've got to show a photo of Phoebe Cates in the red bikini from Fast Times at Ridgemont High since "Moving In Stereo" is the song that played as she came out of the water.

Where Is She Now?

The other day, while on my SI Swimsuit craze, I posted this photo of Paulina Porizkova.

Now Rob left me a comment, and he wanted to see a photo of Ms. Porizkova now. So, 20 years after the above swimsuit photo, I give you this photo of Ms. Porizkova, pictured here with her husband of over 20 years, Ric Ocasek, the former lead singer of The Cars, and now a well-respected music producer.

And Rob, if you check back later, I'll have you some Ric Ocasek trivia and a video from The Cars.

Thanks for reading.

Ugly Is As Ugly Does

Having grown up a Houston Astros baseball fan, I've seen some ugly frakking uniforms in my history. In my opinion, the present-day brown pinstripe pajama-looking things the Astros wear are just as ugly as the old rainbows.

So when I say something is ugly, you can know I have some expertise. And the batting helmets that the Texas Rangers will be wearing this season are ugly. UGLY. The Rangers are doing away with that one color scheme thing. That was so 20th century. They're going two-color, with those colors being red and blue. The front of the helmet, and part of the sides, are blue. The top, back, and the rest of the sides are red.

That is one ugly helmet. Not even the Astros have ever done anything this ugly.

25 Random Things About Me

Okay, there's this new meme storming through Facebook, on which you are supposed to divulge 25 random things about yourself. I figured why waste this on Facebook. So, here are 25 random things about myself.

1. I'm happiest inside a baseball stadium...

2. Unless I'm in Europe.

3. I think the person who invented the idea of the tie should be forced to wear a tie 24/7/365.

4. I think the person who invented the Thunderstick needs to be surrounded by kids banging those damn sticks in his ear.

5. My favorite color is blue.

6. I still have a childhood crush on Olivia Newton-John...

7. Which is why I still watch "Xanadu" though it is one of the worst movies ever made.

8. I want to be a contestant on the "Amazing Race."

9. I have talked to David Letterman, and even had a brief cameo on his show.

10. I think that Elmore Leonard is our greatest living writer....

11. Speaking of which, I think Cormac McCarthy is way overrated.

12. It bugs me that Nick Lowe, The Cars, and The Go-Go's aren't in the Rock-and-Roll Hall of Fame, but Madonna is.

13. The most beautiful place that I have ever been in, in my entire life, was in the Alps, high over Innsbruck, Austria on a clear, sunny day in mid-August of 1993.

14. I still can't believe that I passed the Bar Exam. Then again, Dan Quayle passed the Bar, so I suppose that anybody can handle that little chore.

15. My friend Jodie tried to warn me to not go to law school, but to instead move to New York and try to be a writer -- she thought that I was funny and that I had talent. I should have listened.

16. Despite working Astros games for nearly 15 years, and attending baseball games all of my life, I have never seen a no-hitter -- I was there for several near misses. Like Nolan Ryan throwing 8.2 innings of no-hit ball against the Phillies in 1988. I was in Europe when Daryl Kile threw his no-hitter for the Astros in 1993.

17. I have been in attendance for a triple play.

18. Steroids, or no steroids, but Barry Bonds is still the greatest baseball player that I have ever personally seen play the game. I saw Mike Schmidt, George Brett, etc. at the end of their careers.

19. When I grow up, I want to live on the West Coast, hopefully the Bay Area -- I've got to be near a baseball stadium.

20. I can play a mean drum solo on my car steering wheel.

21. I like "South Park," but I still think the Bugs Bunny cartoons are some of the funniest, most intellectual cartoons ever done.

22. I can't understand why women don't like The Three Stooges...

23. Then again, I don't understand women...

24. I'm still pissed that my mother was in attendance for Mike Scott's pennant clinching no-hitter while I was stuck in class at the UH listening to the game on a transistor radio.

25. My all-time favorite song, is "Hey Jude," but my favorite all-time Beatles album is "Abbey Road."

Looking For A Dunn Deal

There are still a lot of big players out there in baseball's free agent market. And with about three weeks left until pitchers and catchers are to report to spring training, it's possible that there could be a lot of upcoming signings.

The big name out there is Manny Ramirez who finished last season tearing up National League pitching while with the Los Angeles Dodgers. Ramirez's being unsigned is partly the reason several other names are still out there, primarily Adam Dunn who finished last season with the Arizona Diamondbacks.

Dunn could be described as Manny-Lite. He plays the outfield about as well as Ramirez -- which means he sucks -- and his on-base percentage and HR numbers are close to those of Ramirez. He strikes out a bunch, though he makes up for it by walking a ton -- like I said, the guy seems to be on a base a lot. He's not the fastest guy, but he's actually not that bad going first to third or second to home.

The current high bidder for Dunn appears to be the Washington Nationals, but I'm guessing his agent's going to have Dunn hold out on signing until Ramirez signs, because then it's possible that a bunch of teams who have been holding out for a power hitting left fielder while hoping the price falls will suddenly be very happy to see Dunn hanging around.

As for me, I like Adam Dunn, and I would prefer to see him over Carlos Lee in left field for the Astros. That's partly because Dunn is from New Caney, which is just up the road from Houston, and I just like him as a player better than I like Lee who is a highly overpaid DH failing in his attempts to play left field. The Astros are stuck with Lee, but some team is going to be very happy to find itself stuck with Dunn.

Monday Monday

It's a Monday. And I hate Mondays. So why not try a little "classic rock" to lift the spirits.

The Mamas & The Papas with "Monday Monday."

Sex Sells: Stacy's Mom Has Got It Coming Off

I continue on my SI Swimsuit model kick. Here's Stacy's Mom herself, Rachel Hunter.

Busting Joe Morgan

I came across this little note over at one of my favorite blogs, Baseball Musings. It appears that Joe Morgan was harassed by LAX security and roughed up a bit. I like the comment from David Pinto at Baseball Musings that maybe it was the guys at Fire Joe Morgan who were ultimately responsible.

I only bring this up because of a comment over at the original location of the Morgan harassment post. There, some guy posted that it was stuff like this that reminded him to contribute money to the ACLU and the NRA.

Think on that a moment. The ACLU. The NRA. I can't really think of two more organizations that are such exact opposites. Not even the Republicans or the Democrats.

So there you go, Joe Morgan. Bringing America together.

Rachel Hunter Has Got It Going On

While I'm on my SI Swimsuit model kick, I might as well go to the video jukebox for a song featuring one of the SI Swimsuit issue's best known swimsuit models.

So here is Fountains of Wayne with "Stacy's Mom." And it's Rachel Hunter who has got it going on. Enjoy.

Sex Sells: Good Day Sunshine Edition

I'm back with some more of the SI swimsuit photos. And I thought this would be a nice way to start the day. So here's Mrs. Ric Ocasek, Paulina Porizkova.

The Rocket Arm of Hunter Pence

As many of you who have read my work over at the mothership know, I am a huge fan of Hunter Pence. I know his 2008 season was a disappointment offensively, especially when compared to his 2007 rookie season (I'm optimistic that Pence will make the necessary adjustments and turn in a huge 2009).

But offense aside, what I like about Pence is his defense. I thought the guy was an underrated center fielder in 2007, especially since he's not a center fielder. And last season he was in right field, which is his natural position, and he played like a true pro. He's got a rocket arm, and he knows how to use the arm -- it shocked me that, even late in the season, teams were testing his arm.

Apparently, Pence had the best arm in baseball last season. I'll let the good folks over at The Hardball Times explain their methodology, but to my naked eye it made absolute sense.

Pence is the best defensive player on the Astros -- especially when compared to guys like Carlos Lee and Miguel Tejada who don't understand the meaning of the word defense -- and he's one of their best base runners. If he gets his bat working at top quality again, Pence will excel in 2009.

I just wish that I could say the same thing about the rest of the club.

Ranking The Songs of The Beatles

Like most music fans, I'm a fan of The Beatles, going so far as to defend their often lackluster solo efforts.

I stumbled across this list the other night. It's some guy with his listing from worst to best of 185 Beatles songs. I would probably rate some of the songs higher than he does while some of those he rates high I would probably rate lower. But it's a good list, and he provides lots of fascinating info and trivia regarding each song.

I'll let you click on the list to see his rankings, and his top five. But I thought that I would list my Top Five.

5. Side Two of Abbey Road. Most of this side of the album consists of interlocking melodies, and I can just listen to it nonstop for hours on end.

4. "Revolution" is one of those songs I listen to at top volume. This is the rocking single, not the slower album cut.

3. "Hard Day's Night." That magical chord of George's at the start of the song still gets me.

2. "A Day In The Life." I don't think I need to say anything song, but I do recommend reading Geoff Emerick's book Here, There, and Everywhere which goes into deep deep detail about the recording of this song.

1. "Hey Jude." This was my favorite song from The Beatles when I was just a kid. It's still my favorite. I dare you to be sad or in a bad mood come the end of this song.

Out Of Step, Out Of Synch: The Aeros Lose A Stinker To Peoria.

In baseball, they have this term called winning ugly. It’s when a team wins those games that it should really lose. The pitching sucks. The defense commits error after error. And the batters are striking out and grounding into double plays all night. Yet, despite all of that, the team finds a way to win a boring 5-4 game.

Saturday night, before a crowd of 8696, the Houston Aeros did a reverse winning ugly. They lost ugly. The 3-2 loss would almost qualify as a suck-minus loss if not for the fact that, at some points, some of the guys actually hustled and did things right. Instead, for the most part, they played ugly hockey, thus, the Aeros lost ugly to the Peoria Rivermen.

“It started off in the first period,” Corey Locke said. “We weren’t ready to play. Which is our fault.”

Kevin Constantine was a bit more wordy on the topic: “I thought that after winning four games, we looked like a team that hoped going through the motions would be good enough. Without a real passion to do the work really necessary.”

The first period was an ugly period of bad passing, bad shot-making, and just all around lousy play. The Aeros appeared to be a step slow, just missing on their passes, and finding their shots blocked.

The Aeros play was “too cute,” said Constantine. “Instead of playing the game hard, we hoped that we could stick handle and pass our way through it when you have to skate and play hard.

Yet Peoria played just as ugly as the Aeros and were able to get off only three shots, thus allowing for a 0-0 score after one. In the second period, things fell apart. At 1:10 of the second, Nolan Schaefer would block the shot of Trent Whitfield, only to find Chris Porter planted on the other side of the crease waiting to stuff in the rebound. And at 4:18, Steve Reiger got another rebound and found a way to lift the puck over the pads of Nolan Schaefer to make the score 2-0.

The Aeros got back into the game when Benoit Pouliot tipped in a Clayton Stoner shot at 2:22 – I’m still not sure what happened on the shot as Stoner’s shot was really weak and bouncing around; Pouliot never got a stick on it, but it appeared from the replay it may have nicked his skate just enough to bounce past Peoria goalie Chris Holt. Peoria made the score 3-1 at 9:59 when Steve Wagner scored on the power play, and at 16:11 Corey Locke knocked in the rebound of a Matt Beaudoin shot to make the score 3-2.

It appeared the Aeros were going to make their standard third period push and put this game into overtime until Corey Locke was called for cross-checking at 17:37, which effectively put Peoria on the power play for the rest of the game.

“I took a stupid penalty to put us down at the end,” Locke said. “It’s tough.”

The AHL is now going on it’s All-Star break, and the Aeros will be off on until Thursday night when they take on the Quad City Flames at 7:05 at Toyota Center.

SOME MISCELLANEOUS GAME NOTES:

Constantine was pretty down on the team after the game. He said the team didn’t play with an edge. That they were playing too cute. That they didn’t want to compete. And that they were awful.

But he was complimentary of one player, Benoit Pouliot, who was exiled to Houston from the Minnesota Wild last week. “He was great. I thought by far he was our best player,” Constantine said. “I thought it was one of the best games he’s played for us.”

Photo of Benoit Pouliot courtesy of Fred Trask.

Now here’s the shocking news. I haven’t checked out her blog as I’m writing this, but Ms. Conduct herself was sitting next to me in the press box, and she was saying complimentary things about Pouliot. And if you’ve ever read Ms. Conduct’s blog, you will know that she’s not much of Benoit Pouliot fan.

I, myself, am also not much of a fan. But he appeared to be the only guy who showed up ready to play against Peoria. He was physical. He was taking shots and playing defense. He wasn’t trying to be too cute, which is usually his game. This was definitely his best game since he’s been back in Houston. The guy is talented, though it’s often appeared in the past that he’s been trying to rely too much on the talent and not enough of effort.

Maybe, just maybe, being sent to Houston this time has finally made him get that message that so many have been trying to send him. Maybe.

*******************
The Aeros, along with the rest of the AHL, are on the All-Star break. Most of the guys will now be taking a mandatory four day break. There will be no practice sessions. There will be no skating, or team meetings. Constantine and staff will next see the guys on Thursday morning as they have a morning skate in preparation for Thursday’s game with the Flames.

Two guys won’t be getting a break, however. Corey Locke and Barry Brust have a 5:45 a.m. flight out of Houston tomorrow where they will be flying to Boston on their way to Worcester, MA for the AHL All-Star Game on Monday night.

For Barry Brust, the All-Star Game is all about staying out of the way.

“Those things aren’t very fun for goalies. You’re just trying not to embarrass yourself,” he said. “You just take it easy and hopefully they don’t get seven by you.”

Corey Locke’s attitude is a little different, however: “I enjoy these things,” he said. “It’s my third one. I enjoy them. It’s an honor to be selected. I’m just going to try and represent the Houston Aeros and Minnesota Wild organizations as best as possible.”

*******************
Despite the loss, the Aeros head into the All-Star break with a record of 21-18-1-7 (50 points) and tied, points wise, for second place with the Rockford IceHogs who are 23-19-0-4 (50 points). The Iowa Chops are in fourth place at 22-18-2-3 (49 points), with Peoria in fifth place with 48 points and defending AHL Calder Cup champs Chicago Wolves in sixth place with 47 points.

And of the Aeros remaining 33 games, 30 are within the division.

“There are no excuses,” Kevin Constantine said. “We control our own destiny.”

******************
I got to the game a little later than normal for me, and the press dining room had been emptied of food. So I hit the Toyota Center concessions. So excuse me while I go a bit of a rant.

The game was supposed to start at 7:35. The doors opened at 6:30. When I hit the concession stands at 6:50, I had to stand around with a bunch of other people waiting for them to make the food. I don’t understand that. I know that the concession workers were there when I walked in at 6:20. And I always see them there a good 90 minutes before the game. So you would think they would have food ready to go for everybody before the doors open.

Then again, maybe that’s just me.

******************
The team looked to be out of synch the entire night. Passes going behind players. Shots going wide. Hits just a touch off. And judging by the boos in the crowd, I think that many of the fans in the stands were as unhappy with the team’s play as Kevin Constantine was.

To play us out tonight, I’ve selected one of my all-time favorite songs from The Police. And I think it expresses the rage and anger that many of the fans felt about the game.

So here’s The Police with “Synchronicity II.”

Dropping the Puck, Firing Up the Crowd

The puck will drop here at Toyota Center in a matter of minutes. And after last night's game with the Peoria Rivermen which was a rather physical game with numerous fights, one can't help but wonder what we're in for tonight.

John Scott, with a smile on his face, promised after last night's game that we should probably be seeing more of the same. Which means more hitting, more slamming into boards, and despite the suspension of Matt Foy, more fighting.

So, in honor of the potential fighting, here's a little something to get the crowd fired up. Christina Aguilera with "Fighter."

Pucking It With Bones

I've been a fan of the TV shows "Bones" since it first started. Part of that has to do with the fact that I think Emily Deschanel, who plays the title character, is gorgeous. I'm also a fan of the writing and I think there is some good chemistry between Deschanel and David Boreanaz who plays her partner.

One of the fun things of the show is that Boreanaz's character is, like Boreanaz, a hockey fan. So every now and then, you'll see hockey paraphernalia lying around in Booth's office, including a Flyers sweater.

This past week's show was a hockey show. The show revolved around hockey as Boreanaz plays on a FBI hockey team who gets into with a guy on the Firemen hockey team who ends up murdered.

And the murder weapons are items found in hockey, and there are numerous scenes set during hockey games -- "Rescue Me" does this as well. There's even a puck bunny in the episode.

That's all that I've got to say. I just thought it was fun that a prime time network show made hockey the focus of the plot. I'll try to return to my normal snark later tonight.

Peoria's Matt Foy Suspended

For those of you who have not seen the news, Peoria's Matt Foy has been suspended indefinitely by the AHL for his violation of league rules in leaving the bench and getting into a fight with John Scott at the end of the 2nd period last night.

The rule book calls for an automatic six-game suspension for Foy, so I'm sure the indefinite part is to see if anything else occurred that might cause a longer suspension.

Aeros Drown The Peoria Rivermen

Photo of John Scott fighting Matt Foy courtesy of Fred Trask.

Among the unwritten rules of hockey – of any sport for that matter – are that you don’t talk trash about another guy’s girl, his sister, his mother, his grandmother, etc. And John Scott claims that he didn’t do any of that last night. Yet John Scott was jumped by three men, causing two fights as the second period drew to a close.

The Aeros defeated the Peoria Rivermen by a 5-2 score that saw Maxim Noreau break out of his month-long scoring slump, that saw Corey Locke continue to eclipse Joel Ward’s team-high point total from last season, and that once again featured stellar play in the crease from Nolan Schaefer.

But all that the 5199 fans in attendance at Toyota Center will remember is that at the 20:00 mark of the second period, John Scott got into a fight with Peoria’s Cam Paddock. And that while Scott and Paddock were fighting, Peoria’s Jeff Cowan decided to get in on the action. And then, when Scott had finished off the both of them and was skating back toward the bench and the locker room, Peoria’s Matt Foy appeared from nowhere and went after Scott.

“I don’t know what happened,” Scott said. “They just all seemed to want to beat me.”

Coach Kevin Constantine wasn’t exactly clear on what happened either. He didn’t see the beginning of the first fight, looking up as Cowan decided to join in on the fun, and he doesn’t have a clue as to what was going on with Foy.

“I didn’t expect Foy to come off the bench,” Scott said. “I don’t know what he was thinking.”

And apparently, according to Matt Foy, he wasn’t thinking: “It was just one of those things,” he told the Chron’s Andrew Ferraro. “It was a bad mistake, and I’ll take responsibility for it.”

Foy might take responsibility for the fight. But he can’t take responsibility for the rest of the Rivermen’s game. Morten Madsen got the scoring started at 15:11 of the first when he took the pass from Maxim Noreau, who in turn had been fed the puck by Corey Locke, and fired a laser from near the blue line.

The Aeros then took the 2-0 lead in the second period when Peter Olvecky took the rebound of his shot and scooped the puck past the goaltender at 1:39 of the second. Peoria made it 2-1 less than a minute later when defenseman T.J. Fast got loose on his own with the puck. Locke then lifted the puck over the shoulder of goalie Ben Bishop at 12:07 to make it 3-1, and at 13:12, Maxim Noreau ended the night for Bishop with a shot that slipped over Bishop’s glove. That ended the scoring action for the second period, only to have the fighting action end the period.

Peoria’s Ryan Reaves made the score 4-2 at 19:41 of the third, but Robbie Earl, who the Aeros obtained earlier this week in exchange for Ryan Hamilton, got the empty-netter at 19:58 to make the final 5-2.

“It feels great,” Scott said about the win. “That was just a sixty minute battle between two teams that really wanted it.”

These two teams meet again tonight at 7:35 at the Toyota Center. John Scott thinks we should expect “more of the same. Just even more intense. More hitting, more battling…It’s great. I love it. It’s fun.”

SOME MISCELLANEOUS GAME NOTES:

And don’t fret. Mitch Love also got in on the fighting action, as he went at in the third period with Paddock. And yes, Love easily won the fight and exited the ice to the applause of the crowd.
Both John Scott and Mitch Love came within a goal of the mythical Gordie Howe hat trick last night. Scott jokingly thought he would have gotten that empty-netter if Earl hadn’t have gotten in the way.

And Maxim Noreau got his first goal in over a month last night and his first points since January 7th. “I think I’ve been shooting a lot less,” he said. “I’ve been passing up shots trying to make plays.” But he said that the coaches have been encouraging to take his shot more.

Speaking of points, Corey Locke got his 30th assist and his 16th goal of the season last night. He has already eclipsed Erik Reitz’s team high 26 assists from last season, and he is quickly closing in on Joel Ward’s team high of 21 goals from last season. His 46 points for the season are higher than Ward’s team high of 41 points last season. Jesse Schultz, with 33 points (11-22=33) should also eclipse those numbers before the season ends.

*********************
For any of you who are interested, Matt Foy can be expecting an automatic six-game suspension for his fight with John Scott. According to the AHL rule book, the first player to come off of the bench in a fight receives an automatic six-game suspension, without pay.

*********************
The win was the Aeros fourth straight win. This marks the first time this season that they’ve won four straight since they won four straight to open the season. Their record is now 21-17-1-7 (50 points). Points wise, they are tied for second place in the West Division with the Rockford IceHogs, though Rockford is in second place percentage wise. The Aeros are a point up on the Iowa Chops who are in fourth place.

Peoria is in sixth place with 46 points, and Corey Locke thinks the closeness of the division might be part of the reason for the rough play last night. “They’re playing for the same spot we are,” he said, and with the four points separating second and sixth place, then he just might have a point.

********************
The team has some kind of sponsor named IT’Z. I have no idea what IT’Z is, but whenever I hear IT’Z, I keep expecting Michael Palin to pop up and the theme music of Monty Python’s Flying Circus to start playing.

Seven Nation Army At Seven O'Clock

It's just about puck time here at Toyota Center. So I thought I would get everybody into the mood for a little violent hockey action with another of those songs that I think would be great for firing up the crowd and the players at a hockey game, but which the Toyota Center crew don't seem to think about.

So, here at seven o'clock is The White Stripes with "Seven Nation Army."

Hot Time, Summer In The City, Continued

Like I said yesterday. It's about time for the SI Swimsuit issue. So I'm taking time to post some of my favorite swimsuit issue photos.

Here's the ex-Mrs. Billy Joel, Christie Brinkley. Let's all have a good weekend, and I'll be back tonight with the Aeros post game report.

You're Not Paranoid If They're Really Out To Get You

Why does ESPN hate me?

No, I'm serious here. Why does ESPN hate me? There's got to be no other explanation for why ESPN is going to be subjecting me to even more Steve Phillips come this baseball season.

ESPN announced the other day that, besides shoving Phillips down our throat night after night on "Baseball Tonight," it's now putting him in the broadcast booth for its Sunday Night Baseball showcase with Jon Miller, who's not as good as he once was, and Joe Morgan, who seems to hate baseball with a passion matched only by hatred for George W. Bush. And now there's Phillips.

This guy supposedly brings an insider perspective to baseball, having been a failed player and a failed GM of the New York Mets. But all that's he ever done is just irritate me, and I think the downfall of "Baseball Tonight," which was once one of the best studio shows on TV, can be traced back to the addition of Phillips and John Kruk, both of who believe that substance can be replaced by shouting loudly and by insults.

And now Phillips will be doing the game of the week as well.

Like I said, why does ESPN hate me?

An Oscar Here, An Oscar There

The Oscar nominations came out yesterday, and being a film buff, I've actually seen most of the nominated films. In my considered opinion, Slumdog Millionaire should be the best film. I thought it was an amazing, moving film that was not only a technical masterpiece, but as an emotional masterpiece. I also think that it's about time that Danny Boyle got awarded for his career in film which has included such masterpieces as Trainspotting and 28 Days Later.

I liked very much The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, but not as much as I liked Slumdog Millionaire. But once again, it was an emotionally-moving technological masterpiece. And I've always been a fan of David Fincher, the director, despite what I've read about how his perfectionist tendencies tend to piss off some actors. But I think the fact that Brad Pitt continues to work with him -- and this is Pitt's third film with Fincher -- speaks to just how good a director Fincher is.

I'm a Brad Pitt fan, I think he can actually act, and I've got no problem with his getting the best actor Oscar, but Mickey Rourke was incredible in The Wrestler. I really think Cate Blanchett deserved a nomination for Benjamin Button, and I think Kate Winslet is my favorite of those who were nominated. I also think it's wrong that Michael Sheen wasn't nominated for Frost/Nixon, and I'm really happy that Woody Allen didn't get any nominations for Vicky Cristina Barcelona which I thought was an awful screenplay.

That's my two cents for now. But expect for more from me as time goes by.

Alias Jeff Kent

Okay, I'm up late watching a repeat of MLB Network's "Hot Stove." And they just interviewed Jeff Kent about his retirement.

And I want to know what happened to Jeff Kent.

All that I've ever read about Kent is that he's one of the world's great pricks who likes nobody in the game. Who doesn't like to talk nobody. And couldn't tell a joke if his life depended on it. And here he is joking around with a huge smile on his face.

I'm pretty sure that Kent was really a prick. But you know, watching the interview, you get the idea that, actually, he was kind of a nice guy who just wanted to play the game.

And while MLB Network is on Kent, SI's Tom Verducci is talking about how he will vote for Kent on his ballot for the Hall the very first year that Kent is eligible, but that he doesn't think Kent will get in on the first try because he snuck up on everybody and he just didn't like a first ballot guy on the field. But Verducci was confident that Kent would get into the Hall.

And this has never made sense to me. If you're good enough for the Hall on your sixth year of eligibility, then you're good enough for your first year. The stats don't change.

Then again, maybe that's why I'm not allowed to vote for the Hall.

A Farewell To Ausmus

I see that Brad Ausmus has signed a one-year contract with the Los Angeles Dodgers. And I just wanted to say goodbye.

I've always been an Ausmus fan, even though he's never had that great of a bat. He was an excellent defensive catcher -- especially when he was younger -- and he really knew how to handle a pitching staff.

I really think the Astros are going to miss him more than any other player this season. Humberto Quintero and J.R. Towles are the favorites to be the catchers this season, and Toby Hall has been brought in to provide the veteran backup experience. But none of these guys bring the gravitas to the position of Brad Ausmus. It's almost like he served as an extra pitching coach.

I think that my favorite moment from last season came when Ausmus's daughters were in Houston for a game, and they visited the broadcast booth with Bill Brown and Jim Deshaies. They did one of those in-game interviews where Brown and Deshaies were talking to Ausmus, then they let his daughters ask him questions. And while I don't remember all of the details or the conversation, I just remember how it sounded like Ausmus wanted to be with his kids more than anything.

It was known at the end of last season that Ausmus would not be back with the Astros. But he said that he would either play for a West Coast team so that he could be close to his family in San Diego, or he would retire. I'm happy that he gets to play another year, and that he gets to be close to his family.

Thanks for the years behind the plate for the Houston Astros, Brad.

Cruel To Be Kind

I'm in a music mood, so I thought I would share one of my favorite all-time songs, Nick Lowe's "Cruel To Be Kind." That's also kind of thinking behind this blog. My being cruel when I am is my way of being kind.

I promise a return to substance later tonight, though I don't know how anyone can complain about SI Swimsuit photos.

So...

Hah, Hah

TAKE THAT NORTON! I FIGURED IT OUT! I FIGURED OUT YOUR DAMN SCREW UP! ANTI-VIRUS THIS!

I RULE!!!!!!!!!!!

Hot Time, Summer in The City

Since it's about time for the SI Swimsuit issue, my mind is filling up with images of their swimsuit models. So here's one of my all-time favorites, Kathy Ireland.

Can I Have Another

I've always been a fan of Crowded House. Light, airy, cheerful sounding songs... until, that is, you actually pay attention to the lyrics. And here is one of my favorite of their songs, "Chocolate Cake."

And here's some trivia. Most of the material on "Woodface," the album which "Chocolate Cake" was on, was actually intended to be on a Finn Brothers album -- brothers Neil and Tim -- who had been in Split Enz, then Neil started Crowded House. "Woodface" was the only Crowded House album that featured Tim.

And now...

Taking Requests

The ClownVision Chronicles is my own little creation, upon which I write what I want, when I want. But I also like to think I write about what you, the readers, want. And, as you know, I like to post videos of favorite songs.

So, I'm playing the role of MTV VJ. Is there a song/video you want me to post? Then just let me know and I'll do my best to find a postable version of it and stick it up here.

And once again, thanks for reading.

Playoffs? Did You Say Playoffs?

I see that my buddy Andrew has been getting some flack over his prediction that the Aeros probably won't make the playoffs. I'm not going to get into the stats like Andrew -- primarily because he does better than I can.

I tend to agree with Andrew -- which means I won't get into the Sunshine Club either. But here's the thing, there's one thing working against the Aeros that Andrew doesn't really handle, and it's this. The Aeros have a lot of great guys on the team -- they're all great to talk after the game -- and they really hustle. But I just don't think this team has the talent to go into the playoffs.

Just like last year, this team has trouble with scoring, and with Krys Kolanos up in Minnesota and probably not coming back, then I don't see anybody replacing him. I like Corey Locke. And Locke has a good shot, and speed, and he's always around the net, but he just doesn't have that ability that I saw in Kolanos to score at will.

What the team has are what us baseball stat head fans deride as heart and intangibles. I tend to think that there's something to heart and hustle and intangibles. But while they can get you into position to take the shot, if you don't have the talent, that puck's not going to go in. Cal Clutterbuck is a big hit in Minnesota because of his hustle and his punishing hits on the opposition, but what's kept Clutter in Minnesota is that he's working on his ability to score.

Barry Brust and Nolan Schaefer will keep the Aeros in just about every game the team plays. But at some point, the Aeros have to score, and the team just can't always be depended on being able to do that.

I want the Aeros to make the playoffs. But I'm afraid I have to agree with Andrew on this.

Alone Again, Naturally

Jeff Kent is announcing his retirement tomorrow. From what I understand, the guy was a bit of a prick -- remember, he made Barry Bonds look like a great teammate. He was, most famously, a guy who wanted to be left alone. He had limited range as a second baseman. He didn't like talking to the press, or to his teammates. But the guy could hit. He holds the record for homers by a second baseman. He also came up with one of the great all-time excuses for an injury -- the infamous falling off his truck while washing it excuse.

But in five years, Jeff Kent should be a first ballot Hall of Famer -- I don't think he cares if he goes in with 75% of the vote, or 100%. In fact, if one could ask him, he would probably say he didn't even care about the Hall.

And I think it's going to be an interesting next several years for the Hall of Fame and third baseman. Roberto Alomar is a first-time Hall candidate from second base come the next vote. Craig Biggio is one the 2012 ballot. Then Kent who will be on the 2013 ballot. In my opinion, all three of these guys should go in on the first ballot. I think Biggio is a no-doubter, but there should really be no doubt about the credentials of Alomar and Kent.