The 1000th Post

No true content here. I just wanted to note that this is the 1000th blog post over here at the ClownVision Chronicles. So feel free to party amongst yourselves. I think I'll do a little partying with Heidi.

Today On The iPod Shuffle

I was seriously going to use yesterday for some writing. So I put my iPod on shuffle instead of turning on the TV, figuring that that would be less distracting. Instead, I got a list of so-called random songs that scarily fit the mood that I've been in lately.

And I swear, these are the first 10 songs that I heard yesterday.

1. "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word," Elton John. Now that's a real up song to start out with.

2. "Photograph," Ringo Starr. Sure it's Ringo, but still, not the world's most upbeat song.

3. "No Myth," Michael Penn. Great song. But seriously, would something a little upbeat be asking too much?

4. "Captain Jack," Billy Joel. Just shoot me now.

5. "Try, Try, Try," Smashing Pumpkins. No, seriously, if I get much more depressed, I'm going to shoot myself.

6. "If It Makes You Happy," Sheryl Crow. Okay, this is a little better. But still, not the world's most upbeat song.

7. "Ordinary World," Duran Duran. Somebody hates me.

8. "American Man," Velvet Revolver. A good solid rocker, probably the best song off the band's second album. Still, not upbeat, but I like a nice rocker.

9. "Headwires," Foo Fighters. YES! The Foo. You can't go wrong with the Foo Fighters.

10. "Do It Again," The Kinks. One of my all-time favorite songs from The Kinks. Still, a little cynical.

So there you have it, seriously. I put my iPod on shuffle and these were the first 10 songs. Happily, things changed a bit with song 11, Joan Jett and "Cherry Bomb."

Sex Sells -- The Vanity Fair Edition

I'm sure that most of us out there don't read Vanity Fair magazine. But there's actually a sports link to the next issue, a story on Mrs. Tom Brady, Gisele Bundchen. And guess what? Yep, there's photos.

Gee, But Ain't That Jumbo Kind of Small Looking?

Here's some distressing news for Astros owner Drayton McLane, and it has nothing to do with the performance of his team on the field. No, this is even worse. There are teams in MLB reducing concession stand prices. Yes, you read that right, reducing concession stand prices.

The Cincinnati Reds are going the Wendy's route and offering up a dollar menu consisting of many of the same items on sale throughout the ballpark, though the portions are slightly smaller. And the New York Mets, who are in moving into their brand new pleasure palace, financed by U.S. taxpayer money, are reducing concession prices by an average of 6.5 percent this season.

Now don't read this wrong. Even with the reductions the concession prices in Cincinnati and New York are still way too much. But it's a nice start, and it's a nice bow to economic reality. But somehow, I'm not expecting Drayton to attempt anything like this. There's too much money at stake for him.

Ch..Ch...Ch...Cherry Bomb

I was actually trying to get some writing done yesterday, and I thought that instead of turning on the MLB Network, I would put my iPod on shuffle and let that be background noise instead. I found myself unable to get much done as a the shuffle just seemed, for the most part, to come up with a strange list of songs that somehow seemed to be fitting my all around for the past couple of weeks. But more on that in a later post.

Anyway, one song stood out from the rest. It's one that I haven't heard in a good while, not even on shuffle. So here's Joan Jett and the Blackhearts with "Cherry Bomb."

NOW WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE!!!

I just got this in my e-mail.
Yep, it's an e-mail trying to get me to sign up for AARP. But there's just a slight problem. I know I sound like an old fart. And I know I've been carrying on like one of those "hey get off my damn lawn" guys, but damn it, I'm only 43. An old 43, but I've still got a few years to go before I'm eligible for AARP.

And no, I don't need a free travel kit. I've got plenty of those, thank you very much. Now get off my damn lawn and leave me alone.

The Dontrelle Willis Story (Part The Continued)

Yesterday I wrote about Detroit Tigers pitcher Dontrelle Willis being put on the disabled list due to a diagnosis of anxiety disorder. The strange thing about the diagnosis was that it came from a blood test, and there was discussion that the Tigers were couching it in these terms so as to scam money from the insurance company so that the insurance company, and not the Tigers, would be responsible for paying Willis's contract should he not be able to pitch this season.

I was willing to play along, though it sounded a bit funny, just because I despise insurance companies -- I used to be an insurance defense attorney for car wrecks and the cheapest, most-willing to cheat bastards in the world were the insurance companies. But it was a bit strange that this was diagnosed by way of a blood test.

So today, doctors not associated with the Detroit Tigers weigh in on this topic. And guess what, you can't diagnose anxiety disorder by way of a blood test. Nope, not possible. It just can't be done.

Yes, yes, I know. You're shocked. There's no way a baseball team would lie, after all, because baseball execs are fine, upstanding individuals on the same level as insurance companies.

There are a couple of things that could be going on here. Willis could legitimately have anxiety disorder, and the Tigers are looking for some way to get out of paying his contract by having the insurance company pay it. There's also the chance that there's something else, something more seriously wrong with Willis, and the Tigers for some reason thought this would be a better thing to come up with. Or of course, maybe Dontrelle Willis just can't pitch anymore and the Tigers don't want to be stuck with his contract.

Anyway, if it is anxiety disorder, let's hope he gets the proper treatment. That's the important thing. Right?

It's Only Spring Training. No One Will Ever Notice...(WITH UPDATE)

This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long, long time. (h/t Awful Announcing).

The New York Mets and the Baltimore Orioles were playing a spring training game yesterday when rain interrupted the game in the first inning. There was a 90-minute delay, then the game resumed. Except no one in Baltimore heard the game because the radio announcers left the ballpark and didn't return. They even went so far as to tell their radio station bosses in Baltimore that the game had been cancelled.

I like this quote from a rightfully confused Orioles PR flack: "Yes, the rest of the game was not on the air back home and we don't know why...We looked over during the game and they weren't there."

And having read this, I've got an idea for the Astros radio guys. How about making Milo Hamilton think that every game from hereon out has been cancelled, then just have Brett and Dave do the games? I think that would make for a more pleasant broadcast experience for all involved.

UPDATE:

The two announcers involved are now claiming that they were ordered home by station management because the game was going to be rained out -- even though station management was in Baltimore and the game was in Florida. But the funny thing is, I thought the radio guys were actually employed by the team and not the radio station.

Two Years Ago Today, Give or Take a Day or Two

It was two years ago, give or take a day or two -- it was definitely the Monday after the Elite Eight because I had a great weekend at the art festival with an attractive woman, and a friend got what looked to be a big career promotion, and things were looking good. Damn good.

Things were actually going kind of good for me. Work was good -- I had been a star the year before, having bailed out the head office on a couple of key jobs and I had been traveling all over the country for work and fun as part of my quest to see all of the ballparks. I should have known that things wouldn't last. They never do. Not in my life.

The signs were there, I chose to ignore them. My father separated his shoulder on New Year's and had surgery a couple of weeks later. Then my grandmother, my dad's mother, died on Super Bowl weekend. I spent most of that week with my father, which was a bit of a burden for reasons I won't go into, and I thought we got through it rather well, as did the rest of the family.

But it was two years ago, give or take a day or two, but definitely on the Monday after the Elite Eight, that I received a call from my father's neighbor saying that he thought my dad had had a stroke or something and he and my uncle wanted to know if they should get him to the hospital. I made it clear that the first call should have been to 911, not to me, and I told him to get my dad to the hospital. I had taken the bus in that day, and I had one of my colleagues drive me to my car so that I could make the two-hour drive to Huntsville.

My father was fine, but a little groggy, and they decided to keep him in the hospital overnight for observation. Which turned out to be a good thing because it was only as I driving home for the night that my uncle decided to tell me that they had found an empty bottle of sleeping pills next to my father. So I drove back up early the next morning so that I could meet with his doctor on rounds and fill him in on the pills bit. While waiting for the doctor, my father decided to confess that he'd tried to kill himself.

And since that time, my life has been in kind of a freefall. I struggled with work all that year to catch up on my billables and work, and though nothing was said, it just kind of strange that I was taken off of travel duty. And I never traveled for work again, and struggled to get work ever after that time. Sure, I did some personal traveling during that time, part of my ballpark quest, and I even had a cameo on David Letterman (wait for the :35 second mark), but during this time we had to deal with my father being twice committed to different mental institutions, then committing him to a nursing home, and signing away to the state the right to my father's inheritance in order to get him on medicaid.

I don't know. Things just haven't been the same since that day. I'm not saying it's my father's fault, but it just seems that life has been in a bit of tailspin. And so far, nothing I've tried has seemed to be able to pull me out that downward spiral.

I just felt the need to write this out, to rant and cry and whine a bit. It's been two years now, and it hasn't been that good. But I was told to write this stuff down when it really gets to me, and it's really getting me today.

(Oh, and my friend that I thought got the promotion ended up getting screwed around by her employer even worse than I did.)

Video Jukebox Don't Always Come Easy

For some reason, I had an urging for some Ringo Starr. Why not a little Ringo with what it perhaps his best known song as a solo artist? So here's Ringo Starr with "It Don't Come Easy."

Sex Sells -- The Good Morning Sunshine Edition

I'm not doing the bikini photos as much as before, but I thought, damn, what a better way to start the week. Of course, I'm looking at a week of nothingness, but hopefully, all of you will have a nice week.

Dontrelle Willis Disabled By Anxiety (With Update)

Here is possibly one of the saddest baseball stories of the year. Detroit Tigers pitcher Dontrelle Willis has been placed on the disabled list because of an anxiety disorder. Willis was traded to the Tigers before last season, and he just didn't seem to have anything, going 0-2 with a 9.38 ERA between stints on the DL due to injuries.

Willis burst onto the scene as a rookie for the Florida Marlins in 2003 with his fun personality and high, twisting leg kick. He's supposedly always been really fan friendly, and he's often eagerly agreed to be the face of MLB to the inner-city fans. He's got a career record of 68-56 with a 3.91 ERA.

Willis states that he is not suffering from depression now, nor has he ever suffered from depression. The condition was supposedly discovered through a blood test, even though it is a mental issue, not a medical issue. Neither Willis nor the Tigers were willing to offer up a time on when he might be able to return to the game, though there is hope that he might be able to pitch again this season.

Dontrelle Willis is not the first major league player to be placed on the DL because of this condition. Kansas City Royals pitcher Zack Greinke spent the 2006 season on the DL because of anxiety disorder.

UPDATE:

To answer Ms. Conduct's comment. The Detroit Free Press story I linked to kind of addresses this topic. The reporter believes that the Tigers are couching this as a medical issue -- thus the blood test diagnosis -- because of insurance issues. There is some doubt as to whether the insurance policy that the Tigers have on Willis's contract covers mental issues. If it's a medical issue and Willis doesn't play, then the insurance company covers Willis's contact, but they might not do so if it's merely a mental issue and Willis is medically fit to play.

To Suck, Or Not To Suck: That Is The Astros Question

Now here's some shocking news, but according to the Chron, the Astros are facing lots of questions about the makeup of the team as they prepare to leave camp. Among those questions include the starting rotation, the starting third baseman, and the back-up infielders. Left unasked amongst the questions is how many games will Kaz Matsui play. Or if Michael Bourn has figured out this whole hitting thing. Or what else Miguel Tejada has lied about.

I could go on.

What the Astros don't know for sure is who will be at third base. The original plan, albeit a sucky one, was to platoon Aaron Boone and Geoff Blum. But Boone's out for the season after having open heart surgery on Thursday, and Blum's the very definition of mediocre, so you really don't want him playing every day. Minor leaguer Chris Johnson got off to a hot start to start spring training, but he's been in a big slump, so his making the team and playing at third is not a given, though Cecil Cooper has made it clear that if Johnson does make the team, it's going to be as the starting third baseman.

If I were given this decision, I would take a flier on Chris Johnson. Only deluded people like Cecil Cooper and Richard Justice think this team is going to contend this year, so if there's a youngster with potential, then why not take a chance on him? There's not going to be a lot of pressure since the team won't be contending, so this should be the perfect opportunity for Johnson to give the majors a try. He won't be any worse than Blum.

As for the rotation, the primary question is the fifth starter. It appears that injury-prone Russ Ortiz will get this spot. And the fact that Ortiz is getting another chance says volumes about how bad the Astros pitching is. It's bad because the only really good pitcher is Roy Oswalt, one of the best pitchers in baseball. The Astros are debating whether Wandy Rodriguez or Mike Hampton will be the number two starter, and neither of these guys should be more than a four starter. Hampton was once a very good pitcher who hasn't pitched a complete season in about four years. He's been torn apart by arm injuries, and while I really hope he can make a comeback, I don't think a team should be depending on that. And Wandy Rodriguez, while also injury prone, just isn't very good. And the fourth starter is Brian Moehler who had a career year last season. Only problem is that Moehler's in his late-30s and he's been pitching in the majors since the mid-90s. As with the rest of the guys, there is nothing in his career stats to indicate that he can put two good seasons back-to-back.

So instead of there being a question about who the fifth starter should be, the real question should be who is going to be the second through fifth starters. And I don't think I like the answer.

And while the team wonders what to do about the backup infield spot, I frankly don't think it matters as neither option is really appealing. So I go to my default position. I say take the youngster and give him a shot. What can it hurt?

Meanwhile, Lance Berkman is injured, though he should be ready for Opening Day. And Cecil Cooper still hasn't earned the respect of the veterans.

Then you have the issues revolving around the injury-prone Matsui, and the rapidly-aging Tejada, and the unable to hit Bourn. It's not a good team. I just don't see any potential of this being a good team. It's going to be a long season.

It's Lima Time

I know that all Astros fans are really worried about this rotation because a semi-decent pitching rotation can make an awful team look halfway decent, and the Astros rotation is nowhere near semi-decent. But don't worry because I've got some news that'll make you feel better.

Jose Lima has signed to pitch with the Long Beach Armada, one of the numerous teams in one of those numerous independent leagues that aren't affiliated with MLB. This can only mean that Jose Lima is preparing for his return to the big leagues, and this can only mean good news for the Astros since Mike Hampton and Russ Ortiz are due for a season-ending injury any day now. And should this happen, it would be really good news for the fans in the Crawford Boxes as they would get a ton of souvenir baseballs whenever Lima pitches.

And who knows, should the need arise, the Astros can also use Lima as a back-up anthem singer.

Paging Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard

The Farrelley Brothers, the masterminds behind There's Something About Mary, Kingpin, and Dumb and Dumber, are preparing to make another movie. A movie about the Three Stooges. I would be okay with this, and I would be willing to give them the benefit of the doubt because I think these guys are funny, and they've shown they can do slapstick humor, but...

Then I saw the cast. And all benefit of the doubt just went out the window. This is a mistake. A mistake on Speed Racer as a live action film scale.

The big casting coup is multiple best actor Oscar winner Sean Penn, who is set to play Larry. Jim Carrey has signed on to play Curly. And the brothes are pursuing Bennico Del Torro to play Moe. (There's no info from the story on who will play Shemp or if his character will even be in the movie.)

Yes, you read that right.

Now this is supposed to be a biopic, so there's going to be drama as well as comedy, but still...

Just because Sean Penn says he'll do the movie is no reason to cast Sean Penn. It's been over 20 years since Penn has done a comedy -- besides a guest spot on Two and a Half Men -- and he's not displayed any ability to do slapstick, physical comedy. The same with Del Torro, of whom I'm also a fan. I just can's see Penn as Larry, or Del Torro as Moe. Carrey makes sense, though I see him as Moe more than I do as Curly, but the rest of this cast, no, it just doesn't work.

I'm not the studio funding this thing, though, and if this is how they want to spend their money, then fine. Just don't expect my support.

Screwing Up The Ballpark

It appears that the New York Yankees went to the Drayton McLane school of ballpark design. Word out of New York is that the YES Network (the New York Yankees network) and ESPN are not pleased with the ballpark because the designers did not put a spot for a home plate camera, and the cameras down the lines are stuck at funny angles.

Not many people know this, but these same complaints were raised about Minute Maid Park when it opened. There's no decent position for a home plate camera -- all shots are from up high in the TV press box, and the centerfield camera is actually stuck over in left field, which is why it's often impossible to make a visual determination from that camera on what's a strike, and what isn't a strike.

One would think that, in this day and age, when TV is king, that designers would keep TV in mind. Then again, one would also think that the real fans, those who go to every game and don't get to sit in those George H.W. Bush seats directly behind home plate, would also be kept in mind. But as has been proven time and time again, those people don't count. So I'm not surprised that the TV wasn't kept in mind either.

Digging In The Memories

I was looking around YouTube earlier, trying to locate video of Peter Gabriel performing "Solsbury Hill" because I thought it would fit with what I was doing for my Houston Aeros post-game write-up. I found "Solsbury Hill," and went with video of him performing it on his 1993 Secret World Tour.

Then I started getting all kinds of memories, because you see, Gabriel's 1993 Secret World Tour was a rather special concert experience for me. That concert, more than any other I've probably ever been to, marked a turning point in my life. Not the concert so much, but as what was happening to me at the time of the concert.

The concert was on a Friday in August. The same Friday as the last day of my Texas Bar Exam. The next day, I was moving out of my apartment and temporarily, for about a week-and-a-half, moving back in with my mother and step-father. And from there, I was on my way to Europe, on my very own, to meet a bunch of people I'd never met and to live in countries for five months that I'd only dreamed of visiting.

And I was scared out of my mind. Not that I admitted such. It wasn't the Bar Exam that got me. I knew I would pass it. I knew I wouldn't pass it with flying colors, but I knew I passed it -- I would find out four months later that I passed it by the tiniest of margins. I was just scared about my life. I hadn't been much of a success of in law school. I made some decent grades, excelled in some classes, and was beyond awful in others. I was average. Much as I always have been, and always will be. But somehow or another I lucked into this LL.M. program that would keep me in school for another year -- then, as now, I was terrified of the job market and just knew that I would end up in a lousy soul-sucking job unless I did something different. So I did the LL.M program and went to Europe and to California and came home and worked for a judge as his briefing attorney, then ended up in a soul-sucking job that left me alone, and wiped me out, mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially.

Which is kind of where I'm at now, I think. I'm beaten up, alone, and wiped out mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. And I've been trying to deal with that for these past several weeks, since being laid off and once again facing the great unemployment unknown. And seeing the videos on You Tube from that concert just kind of, tonight, brought all of those early-90s feelings and memories to the forefront and meshed them to together with everything I'm going through now.

I'm not sure that there's a point to any of this, but I just wanted to write it out. To get it down somewhere as if, by doing so, maybe it would help out. I'm not sure it has -- this has probably not done much but depress all of you reading -- but it's my blog after all.

Hopefully, this might make things a little better. Here's Peter Gabriel performing "Digging In The Dirt" -- not the most uplifting of songs -- live on the Secret World Tour.

Batters Up! Let's Get This Season Started

I know I've used this photo before, but baseball season is fast approaching, and I love baseball. This photo could almost turn me into a fan of the Chicago Cubs.

Note, I said almost.

Updates About Nothingness

You know, I had a pretty decent week this week. I still don't have a job, but the recruiter I met with yesterday made me feel a lot better about life. And I just didn't let things beat me down this week. So compared to last week, this week was good.

Most of you probably just want to read my rambling rantings about various sports and pop culture items, but since I blog about my life a bit, too, I just feel the need to update you on myself. And this week, it was good. And I hoping next week will be even better.

Have a good weekend everybody.

Houston Chronicle: Alienating Readers Day After Day

So you're the Houston Chronicle, and you've just laid off what appears to be most of your reporting and sales staff. What do you do next?

If you answered raise subscription and newsstand prices, you win. You don't win anything, but still, you were right.

A friend of mine sent me a memo he received from his employer who pays for their subscriptions out of their pay. The memo stated that subscription rates were rising, and that employees should make it known whether they wanted to keep their subscriptions.

But who knows, maybe this will rate increase will allow the Chron to add a beat reporter for TSU.

Isiah And The Clippers

This is priceless. It probably won't happen, but it's priceless.

What am I talking about? Simple: the Los Angeles Clippers, once the worst franchises in NBA history, have been meeting with former NBA great Isiah Thomas about taking a job in the team's front office. That's right, the same guy who drove the CBA into bankruptcy, the same guy who nearly destroyed the Indiana Pacers, and the same guy who turned the New York Knicks into a NBA laughingstock. Yeah, that guy.

It's probably not going to happen. But teaming up these two disasters is nothing but a group of punchlines just waiting to happen.

Meanwhile...Over At The Houston Press

For those of you who don't religiously read me over at the mothership, here are some links to a few items that I've written this week that I wanted to share because I thought you might actually like them.

From today, I have a post on the Chron's layoffs and the possible implications to the sports department. And from yesterday comes this post on Hannah Storm, who is being honored in Houston in May -- most of you probably don't care, or remember, but I reference her early work in Houston with shock jock Moby on the hard rock station.

Tuesday gives us the comedic stylings of Houston Astros manager Cecil Cooper who believes that the Astros are going to sneak under the radar and win 90 games this season. And from Monday comes a brief profile of Houston Aeros forward Tony Hrkac who is in the second week of his comeback to hockey after a four year retirement, the last two years of which he spent coaching college hockey.

I think that's going to do it for me tonight, but I promise to return tomorrow.

You're So Flower Power?

So I was up late the other night watching Craig Ferguson -- the one good thing about this unemployment thing is that I can watch Ferguson and not feel guilty the next morning about wanting to sleep in the office because I have no office and I can sleep late. But after Ferguson was over, I was getting ready to go to sleep when an infomercial came on.

I love informercials. I never buy any of the crap, but I like to watch them. I used to love those infomercials for the Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts because I remembered watching those shows as a kid and thinking they were the funniest thing ever, and frankly, watching the clips on the infomerical, it was amazing to see how well they held up. This informercial dealt with "Flower Power" music, offering multiple CDs of 1960s "flower power" music, and it was hosted by Peter Fonda.

I'm watching and going along with the thing and really grooving to the songs from the 60s, wondering if anybody ever actually buys these things when I'm jolted back to reality by the inclusion of Carly Simon's "You're So Vain." This is not a song I associate with "flower power." Sure, I was a young kid in the 70s, and was really young in the late 60s, but I think I know my musical eras, and this song just didn't seem to fit, especially since this song from sometime in the 70s and I associate "flower power" with the late-60s.

So I'll ask you guys: "You're So Vain," is this "flower power" or not? I say not. But I'm open to argument.

A Note For Rob

Hey, Rob, I just wanted to offer some thanks. I called up and made appointment for the flying trip next week. Thanks a lot. I appreciate everything, and I hope I'm doing a good job here and over at The Third Intermission and The Houston Press.

And to everybody else, thanks for your continued reading.

The Chronicle Is Making Me Angry

As I wrote the other day, the Chron is in turmoil as many, many reporters, editors, etc. were laid off the other day. Among the casualties were the sports guys who covered UH, Rice, and TSU. So I spent a couple of hours last night writing a post about how the Chron, which had done just about everything possible to ignore those schools, was now definitely ignoring them.

Only to log on today and discover that the Chron has assigned them new reporters. Of course, assigning Steve Campbell to the Cougars means that golf has no person covering it. Then again, it's golf, the only sport more boring than soccer, so is no golf writer really that big a thing. And Megan Manfull is now covering Rice. Which means that the Houston Texans are down to one reporter, and that one reporter, John McClain, is more concerned with making videos and doing radio shows than he is in actually reporting. TSU, however, still has no beat reporter assigned to cover it. So I just spent massive time rewriting this and sending it to the Press. That should run later today.

But I've got two points for here: can anyone tell me just what it is that Anna-Megan Raley actually does for the Chron, and why is it that she has a job but not Michael Murphy, MK Bower, or Terrance Harris? Also, I noticed that Ken Hoffman had a story in the sports on Ron Artest. Does this mean that the Chron is about to go back to that failed experiment, tried by the defunct Houston Post, to make Hoffman, a former TV critic and humor columnist, a sports reporter?

Maybe They Should Also Offer Some Sacrifices

Apparently the Christians are pissed off at the Detroit Tigers for scheduling their home opener for daylight hours on Good Friday. Apparently this is the supposed time that Christ hung on the cross, and Catholics supposedly like to go to a Church and celebrate this event.

Here's the thing. I don't care. The Tigers are playing a day game because it's early April in Detroit. It can be miserably cold with snow in Detroit in April, so it makes sense to try and play the game during the day when the weather is supposedly better.

And there's this. You don't have to go to the damn game. If church is so important to you, you shouldn't even have this problem. When Sandy Koufax had to choose between his religion and pitching game one of the World Series, he chose his religion. And frankly, I don't think any of Detroit's so-called Christians are better people than Koufax.

Now you need to excuse me because I've got to dodge some lightning.

A Not So Fine Day In The Park

For years, one of my favorite bands was Chicago -- at one point I think I had every album on LP or cassette though they never made a complete transition to CD or iPod. Then original members started dying off -- rest in peace Terry Kath -- and the band went from rock to power ballad -- though Peter Cetera could do a mean ballad -- and then he left and the band just kind of became aimless as it tried to recapture the late-70s/early-80s power ballad hits.

Still, I saw the band several times in concert, even after the only remaining original members were keyboard player Robert Lamb and the horn players. And I still fail to understand how they've never been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. If Madonna can get in, surely Chicago deserves to be in.

But damn, I saw what's left of the band on Craig Ferguson last night, and they did "Saturday In The Park" which is one of the great songs of all time, and well, maybe they should just give it up. I know they do the summer oldies concert circuit, and there's probably lots of money in that, and I'm not one to talk about giving up money now that I'm out of work, but...they didn't look or sound good.

So to attempt to wipe out what I saw last night, here's old school Chicago performing "Saturday In The Park" back in the day.

Breaking The Fire Didn't Bend Rule

So I'm at the movies the other day, and I see the trailer for the new Star Trek movie that's supposed to come out in May. And I don't really care as I grew out of the Star Trek universe many, many years ago. But...

You see, I watched the original series, and I've read lots of sci-fi, and there's just something about that trailer that is really, really bugging me.

In case you don't know, this movie goes back to the beginning, to when Kirk was just a literal space cadet and Spock was still supposedly battling emotions and McCoy was just a young country doctor and Sulu wasn't gay. And there's bit in the trailer where we see Kirk on a motorcycle and he's in a field somewhere, and off in the distance, he's watching them assemble a huge starship -- maybe the Enterprise.

Now any of you who know your beginning science -- as well as some of the show's history -- knows that the Enterprise was a ship built for traveling in outer space, where there is no atmosphere. It's not built to travel in an atmosphere -- a point made in the show a couple of times -- as it will burn up and fall apart and disintegrate. It's purely a space vehicle. Which is why, in the first movie, there's this endless sequence of Kirk in a shuttle craft flying around the brand new version of the Enterprise as it's being assembled in Earth orbit.

But in this preview, it's being assembled on Earth. And this bugs me.

A good friend of mine has this rule that I call "but the fire didn't bend" rule. It comes from Independence Day when there was a scene of fire exploding down a tunnel. And one of our characters ducks into an open door that is to the side. She doesn't close the door, she just ducks inside. But the fire just went right past her instead of coming into her space. And my friend just went nuts. The movie lost him at the point because the logic failed. Sure, that was a popcorn sci-fi movie that wasn't meant to be taken seriously, but because of that mistake, he couldn't see himself in that universe.

And that's where I'm at on this Star Trek movie. It hasn't even come out yet, but already it has failed "but the fire didn't bend" rule. A ship like that can't be built on Earth because it can't operate in an atmosphere. Yet in the movie, that's what they do. And I'm stopping now because my head's hurting.

The First Against the Wall

One of the things that gets me in trouble over at the mothership is that I tend to be a moralistic and judgmental and that I want people punished for their sins. They always want me to tone it down just a bit. And lately, I've been trying.

But luckily, I have this place here, so...

The people of Miami and Dade County really, really need to put the 12 members of the Miami-Dade County Commissioners Court and Miami City Commission up against the wall and start pulling the trigger. Really, in this economy where businesses are going under and people are losing their life savings to scam artists and others are having to hack into 401ks because they just got laid off, it makes absolutely no economic sense to approve the majority-taxpayer funded pleasure palace for the Florida Marlins.

But on Monday night, the various Floridian politicos gave Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria his dream and agreed to build him a 37,000 seat, retractable roof stadium on the site of the old Orange Bowl. And it will only cost $515 million dollars, of which Mr. Loria is paying only $119 million.

This pisses me off to no end. Really. I'm sick of rich bastards like Loria soaking the taxpaying public for these pleasure palaces then jacking prices on tickets and merchandise and concessions inside the stadium so much that most of the taxpayers who paid for the place can't even get in to the damn place to watch the game.

So come the revolution, instead of placing us attorneys against the wall, we really should start with rich bastard sports teams owners and the politicians who reward them while soaking us.

Yeah, there's no way the mothership would have let me get away with this.

Mr. Deshaies Channels Joe Namath

I noticed this over at the blog Awful Announcing, and I wanted to share. It's the father of Astros TV guy Jim Deshaies putting the moves on Fox Sports' Patti Smith during an on-camera interview. Note the comparisons to Joe Namath, but unlike Namath, Daddy Deshaies got his kiss, and he wasn't drunk.

R.I.P. Houston Chronicle

To my friends over at the Chron -- and yes, I do have some friends there -- I want to apologize. I guess it's partly my fault that you guys are being laid off like crazy over there today (and tomorrow -- seriously, what kind of sadistic bastards makes laying off employees a two day process?) I stopped buying the hard copy edition about five years ago as the price went up and the original content started to vanish and be replaced by wire copy.

But I guess I should have realized what might happen if I didn't buy. That content would disappear. That on-site reporting would be replaced by more wire copy. That the size of the paper would continue to shrink, and since the paper was shrinking, but the cost kept going up, more people would refuse to buy, which meant that it would shrink some more. It's a vicious circle. And I apologize for helping to bring this about.

Still, if there's one reason more than any other that I stopped by the Chron, it's that the Chron failed to realize what was really important. After all, in a city with major employers and industries consisting of Continental Airlines, NASA, and the oil business, one would think that the Chron would make sure to keep reporters on those beats, no matter what.

One would think wrong as those beat writers were amongst those laid off today.

And would think that trying to appeal to local interests -- where wire copy generally isn't as readily available -- would be of prime interest to the Chron in its attempts to stay relevant. But once again, especially with sports, one would think wrong.

The Chron decided to lay off Michael Murphy, the only guy at the Chron to cover University of Houston sports. It decided to lay of MK Bower, the only guy at the Chron to cover Rice University sports. And I've also heard through sources that Terrence Harris, the man who covers TSU sports, was also let go. That leaves no sports reporters at the Chron to cover the local universities while Texas A&M and Texas -- schools that aren't located in Houston, still retain dedicated beat writers.

It's just stupidity. It's like, in some ways, the Chron is doing everything it can to totally alienate its readership so that it can entirely close up shop.

Anyway, RIP Houston Chronicle.

And since I feel this is all party my fault, here's Nirvana performing "All Apologies."

Explaining The Inexplicable

Can you guys help me out with something? Can you please explain to me the popularity of Jim Nantz? Can someone please tell me why this bore is seen as one of the preeminent sports broadcasters of all-time because, frankly, I don't get it.

He's got absolutely no personality. He's got no charisma. He's pompous. I read this guy's book last year, and it was one of the worst written things I've ever read from someone who's actually supposed to possess a college degree.

And now I read he's thinking of running for political office. The guy's a mental midget who holds no convictions and holds no opinions except that he's the most special person to ever inhabit the planet -- okay, on second thought, maybe he is a perfect politician. He writes in his book of friendships with Rush Limbaugh and the Bushes. And in many ways, that makes perfect sense because, just like the Bushes, Nantz has never had to work for anything. He's lucked into every job that he's ever had, and none of these jobs were ever given to him because of ability, but because he was there.

I think of the great broadcasters from when I was growing up, like Jim McKay and Curt Gowdy and Vin Scully and Keith Jackson and Jack Buck and Gene Elston. These guys made me part of the setting. They told a story (Scully still does) that I was part of. And while I've soured on Al Michaels in recent years, nothing tops his work with ABC in the 70s and 80s -- "Do you believe in miracles? YES!" is one of the great broadcast moments of all time. Can anyone imagine Jim Nantz being able to do something like this? He might try, but no one would hear because everyone would be asleep already.

I don't know. I just saw that post about him running for political office someday and it just pissed me off. It just pissed me off that this spoiled brat who's never had to work for anything in his life and who has ruined me a sports broadcast for me, thinks he needs to be working to make my life better. But why should he work as a politician when he's never felt the need to work as a broadcaster?

So I'm back to the beginning. Can someone please explain this guy to me? Why is he as popular as is he? What am I missing? Please. I really want to know.

Daddy Bush and the Astros: Why Am I Supposed to Care?

Can someone please explain to me why it's a big story when George H.W. Bush goes to an Astros game? There's this big story in the Chron. And everytime he takes those seats behind home plate at Minute Maid for an Astros game, Fox Sports and Astros radio make a big deal of Daddy Bush being at the game.

Why?

When did this guy become the Astros most prominent fan?

Hell, he didn't start hanging around the Astros until they started getting good in the mid-90s, and even then, he didn't actually start showing up at games until they moved to Minute Maid and Drayton gave him those primo seats.

I'm a lifelong Houstonian, unlike the so-called fraudulent Houstonian that is Daddy Bush (to be a real Houstonian, you actually have to spend the entire year in the city, not just winter), and I can guarantee that I've actually attended more Astros games than this guy. I went to their games in the 1970s, when they were bad and the team was run by bankruptcy creditors. And I actually know a lot of people like that. Yet the Chron doesn't do stories on us. Fox Sports doesn't focus a camera on us and talk about us, but I can guarantee that we're all better fans than Daddy Bush.

Frankly, I'm sick of this guy being known as the number one fan of the Houston Astros. He's done nothing to earn the title except to be rich and a failure of a president. But then again, now that I think about, maybe it's fitting that is man, a perfect example of futility, is the face of the Houston Astros who just happen to be another fitting example of futility.

But that still doesn't mean I have to like it. It's the real fans who should be celebrated, not fake celebrity fans who can't be bothered to show up most of the time because they're summering in Maine.

Saying Nothing About Nothing

I had a nice day yesterday. I got in my car and I drove east on I-10 -- and that's one of the more ugly drives that any person can take when driving around Houston. I drove east to Louisiana, stopped in Lake Charles, and dropped some of my severance pay at the Isle of Capri Casino. Yeah, I know I shouldn't have done it, but I wanted to have some fun, and since the so-called Heidi Fleiss of Houston was arrested last week, I've got to find some other way to blow some money.

I didn't win, but I didn't really take that much money. I always hold true to the dream that I'm going to get lucky and hit a big jackpot, and I was actually ahead at craps for awhile until all of the shooters went cold. But I had fun. And isn't that what actually matters? That for the first time in weeks I actually had a nice relaxing day.

Anyway, to wake you all up today -- I'm sleeping in -- I've chosen this clip from Cheers. I'll check in later today. But until then, enjoy.

I'm Taking A Me Day

Okay, no more posting from me today. I'm taking off. I'm getting the hell out of town for the day. I'm not going to sit by my damn phone waiting for calls. I'm not going to sit at my computer, trolling for material to blog.

I'm taking a "me" day. I'm getting in my car and going who knows where -- actually, I do know, I'm just not blabbing because this day is all about my escaping.

However, should any future employers be reading this and feel the need to contact me for that job you've got my resume for, well...I do have my cell phone, and my cell number is on the resume, so call me on that. Or if you want, send me an e-mail, that's on my resume as well, and I can read and easily respond to e-mails on my iPhone. Or leave me a comment here. Those go straight to my e-mail which mean they go straight to my iPhone.

But before I go, and because I hope to have a great day, I'm posting another bikini photo -- because who doesn't like a good SI.com bikini photo, right? So here's Anne V. from this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue.

Sex Sells -- The Second Baseman Edition

Courtesy of the blog The Big League comes our latest edition of Sex Sells. This young lady is Diana Chiafair, a former model on Deal Or No Deal and inside of FHM magazine. But she makes this edition because she is the wife of Baltimore Orioles second baseman Brian Roberts. And let's just say that I'm impressed.

No Aeros Here

Just a reminder, if you're still coming over here to find your Houston Aeros coverage, then you're out of luck. That's because all of that is now going to The Third Intermission. So go check out my stuff over there, along with the work of Andrew Ferraro, Heather Galindo, and Fred Trask.

Be Afraid: Some Notes From Astros Spring Training

With Opening Day about two weeks away, the Astros are still trying to get their act together. Five veterans were assigned to minor league camp today, and frankly, that either of these guys was given a shot at making the major league roster shows just how bad the Astros really are.

Meanwhile, the Astros thin pitching rotation that's depending on continued career revivals, careers finally meeting expectations, and injury-prone guys suddenly learning to stay healthy got hit by injury news. Wandy Rodriguez, who's been injured all spring, bruised a finger on his throwing hand on Thursday and will have his next start moved back. Rodriguez has yet to pitch consistent innings this spring, so it's kind of hard for me to understand just how it is he's going to be ready for the start of the season.

But at least the Astros can keep Brandon Backe's career alive a little longer as they have decided to put the pitcher on the disabled list instead of giving him an outright release. I wish I could get a year's worth of a salary guaranteed for being so crappy. And Brian Moehler suffered a contusion to his right shoulder during his start today and had to leave the game early.

Cecil Cooper, meanwhile, is promising to carefully monitor Kaz Matsui this season in an attempt to keep Matsui healthy and off of the disabled list. Man, that Cecil Cooper is some genius because I'm sure that none of the other managers that the injury-prone Matsui has played for ever thought of carefully monitoring Matsui's activities in an attempt to keep him healthy. But since Matsui can get injured in a light breeze, Cooper better get somebody around to actually manage the team because Matsui monitoring will be a full-time job.

Meanwhile, Cooper's not content with watching Matsui. He's also screwing around with newly-signed catch Ivan Rodriguez. Primarily, Cooper wants to bat Pudge second, which is actually good since no one else seems to be able to handle it and Pudge does have some experience in batting second. But it's not going to do any good since lead-off Matsui can't seem to get on base. But for some reason, Cooper has decided that Pudge also needs to learn how to play third base. Then again, this is just further proof of how damn bad the Astros really are that they need Pudge to play at third.

And for the love of the flying spaghetti monster, could somebody please explain why Cooper insists on batting Miguel Tejada fifth? The guy was a disaster with his bat last season, and he's given no indication of improvement. Why not stick Hunter Pence here for an entire season instead of sliding him around the batting order because of everyone else's failure. Tejada was a flop hitting in front of Berkman and Lee, and he was a flop hitting behind Berkman and Lee, so why reward him? Give this slot to Pence and let's see what he can do.

Damn, it's going to be a long season.

Who Cares? I Care

Okay, it's my fault. I'm the one who put that damn choice at the bottom of the posts. You know, the "who cares" option. And I do want to know when you're not that interested in what I write. Not that it will stop me, but I am interested.

Still, seriously, who could say "who cares" to a photo of Heidi Klum in a bikini? It's Heidi Klum. And she's in a bikini. How can you not care?

Well, I care. So I'm posting another photo of Heidi Klum.

Who cares? Right. It's Heidi Klum.

All Apologies

I want to apologize to everybody for my attitude the past couple of days. I know it hasn't been pleasant to read some of my posts, and I'd like to thank you for staying with me.

I can't really say my life has improved a whole hell of a lot lately. But some good friends have reminded me of a few things that I had forgotten in my eight years of continuous employment, and it put some things in perspective. Mainly, legal firms don't work like normal companies when it comes to hiring. It can take weeks and months for them to make decisions, and it takes a while for resumes to circulate around. I do remember that the first time this happened to me, way back in 1997, that it took two months for me to find a temp job. So 10 days is nothing.

Now this is my blog, and I feel like I can write on it whatever I want to write on it whenever I want to write on it, but...that doesn't give me the right to be a miserable jerk trying to make the rest of you as miserable as me. So I apologize.

Thanks for sticking with me and reading. I'll try to do better.

Get Your Astros Season Tickets

Some amazing news from Florida. The Astros win again. That makes the Astros 3-16-3 for Spring Training.

Aren't you excited? I know I'm excited. I just know that this means that everything is just fine and dandy with the team. That it's time to start printing the World Series tickets.

Yeah, I'm going overboard because it is only spring and the games don't count, but damn, they've won two games in a row. They still suck, though. Suck big time.

SI.com Goes Back To The Beginning

The news on the internets is that come the end of the year, you will have to pay to access some of the content over at SI.com. And that's fine. It's their site and they can do whatever they want. And ESPN.com seems to be doing okay forcing you to pay for some of their content -- though I don't and haven't really missed any of their content.

But...

Am I the only one around who remembers that SI.com formerly did charge for accessing most of its content, including the magazine archives, for many years until changing things up a couple of years ago, ironically, at about the time ESPN.com started charging for access. And I'm sure SI.com stopped charging because it wasn't getting much traffic.

Yahoo! Sports, Fox Sports, and ESPN.com pretty much dominate the online sports media, but I actually read SI.com a lot because I like their baseball writers. But if they start charging, I'm sure I won't miss them too much, just like I no longer miss reading Peter Gammons or Buster Olney over at ESPN.com. But I can't help but wonder about what the reaction might end up being if SI.com decides to start charging to access the old magazine archives, which SI.com trumpeted as being free. And just think about the reaction if they should decide to charge for access to the swimsuit photos.

But it's their site, and they can do what they want. But they tried it once and it didn't work, so I don't quite understand what's changed to make it work now. But what do I really know. I'm just an unemployed moron.

Did I Miss The Skyscrapers?

Rob, as requested, I've got a little Chuck Berry for you. And there are better versions of this song, but the back-up singers and arrangement are so strange that I just had to go with this. So here's Chuck Berry performing "Back In The USA" on Shindig.

A Great Aeros Marketing Idea

Courtesy of the blog Puck Daddy comes this little promotion that I would seriously like to see the Houston Aeros marketing people to think about.

The Las Vegas Wranglers of the ECHL are having an Over 18 Night with a later starting time and an open bar for $20. But that's not what has got me excited. It's that they're doing a Stripper 101 thing on the concourse featuring performers from some Vegas show -- no nudity, unfortunately.

I don't know about you, but I'm sick of hearing kids choirs singing "God Bless America" during the intermission -- I seriously think Heather is going to go postal should they do that too many more times. I'm also tired of the chin-up competition, the sumo hockey, and just about everything else they do. It's time for the Aeros to do something a little different. And with all of the strip clubs and topless bars in Houston, I would think that if they were to do a stripper competition during the intermission, that they might be able to get not only a decent crowd, but some fantastic competitors. And since it's my understanding that the young ladies no longer strip in the clubs so that they can get around the SOB laws, they're probably used to just stripping down to a bra/bikini top and panties/bikini bottoms.

I mean, the Aeros usually get a big crowd for the Miss Aeros Bikini Contest. Just think of the crowds they would get for this. And instead of hiking the ticket prices, they could go with a high cover charge.

I'm just saying that this is something to think about.

Bowing At The Altar of Heidi

Hopefully, a nice photo of Heidi Klum to end the week will lift my spirits. A job would be better, of course. But hey, I'm desperate.

Breaking News: Astros Win

This is breaking news. Breaking news.

The Houston Astros have won a spring training game. Yep, that's right, after failing to win 19 straight games and achieving a spring record of 1-16-3, the Astros finally won a game. They defeated the Cincinatti Reds 4-2 today.

The Astros World Series Express is getting ready to start up.

The Airing of the Grievances -- Arabic Speakers Only Edition

I had a really lousy day yesterday. It didn't start out that way. No. The dentist was quick and painless. Then I met my best friend and we spent the day at Hooters watching basketball -- well, okay, I spent some time looking at the girls in the tight shorts, too -- and generally forgot about the misery that is my life.

Then I got home.

Checking my mail, I found the preliminary info for my COBRA. It's only going to cost me $800 a month to keep my medical insurance. Which leads me to this question: how in the hell is a normal unemployed person supposed to pay $800 a month for COBRA coverage? Who thought up this scam? And where can I find a wall to put them up against?

But then it just got better. I spent most of the night on the net, going through the classifieds, looking for a job. And finding nothing. There's lots of stuff that I'm overqualified for, and lots of things I'm underqualified for, but nothing that I'm qualified for. I'm a document review/production legal specialist, and I actually find a bunch of jobs on-line for document reviewers, only along with being a document reviewer, you've got to be fluent in Arabic.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe it would just be easier if someone were to go ahead and shoot me and put me out of my misery now, like they do horses with broken legs.

Coach K Says What?

The news yesterday was that Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski was upset that President Barack Obama was taking time away from more pressing matters to give his NCAA brackets to ESPN.

Now, my first response is that, personally, I'm thrilled to have a president who can multi-task and do multiple things at the same time. But seriously, is there anyone out there who doesn't believe that former baseball team owning President Bush wasn't taking time out from mismanaging Iraq to fill out his brackets. And I'm sure the Dubya found a way to put the economy aside so that he could watch the Philadelphia Phillies defeat the Tampa Bay Rays in the World Series.

But what everybody fails to remember is that the beloved Coach K is, politically, to the right of Sarah Palin. So I'm don't really think it's necessary to Krzyzewski's bitching too seriously. Besides, I'm sure if Obama had picked Duke to win the championship instead of North Carolina, then Coach K would have been more than pleased that the President was filling out brackets.

Video Jukebox Loving Me Sexy

Well, going with The Beastie Boys yesterday didn't really seem to help me any because the day still sucked. It was a definite suck-minus day. So I'm going to try again. Here's Will Ferrell with "Love Me Sexy."

Hey, How 'Bout A Warning Before Going to Oprah

This is just a note to KHOU-TV here in Houston. Dudes, when you're switching from NCAA basketball to Oprah, would you please give us a little warning? The only time that I want to see Oprah is when she's on 30 Rock.

And the switch from basketball to getting-women-to-cry entertainment is really rather jarring and painful for us men.

Thanks.

Airing of The Grievances

Okay, let me see if I've got this straight. I've just lost my job and I've got no money coming in -- except for a small stipend the mothership gives me for pissing off soccer fans (and I would do that for free, so don't go letting the Press know that, okay).

But despite the no income thing and the upcoming loss of all medical benefits, I find myself owing money on my income taxes, having to pay to have some cavities filled, still paying student loans from fifteen years ago (I've still got about 15 years to go), and all of my other disastrous bills. Plus I have to pay my father's bills -- and by the way, here's a big FUCK YOU to Rick Perry for that stupid ass legislation of his that forced me to sign over my father's house to the state because he was too poor to pay for his medical care, but still forces me to pay all of the bills and taxes on that same property because my father decided to live and not die.

So what does this rant lead up to: I just got the bill for my father's house insurance. FUCK. And I've got my Bar Dues coming up.

I would get a spot on a street corner and beg, but all of the good spots have been taken. And I don't think I have the qualifications for flipping burgers at McDonald's. I think they demand more degrees than I've got.

Oh well. Thanks for letting me vent. You guys are great.

A Little Heidi To Pump Me Up

I've been a bit depressed lately. And I want to apologize. So maybe a little Heidi Klum will serve as an apology, along with helping my mood. Of course, a job would help my mood more, but I can't beg, right? And maybe if Ms. Klum were to decide to pay me a visit, my mood might get a whole bunch better.

Chipper Don't Know Toronto

Chipper Jones spent some time in Toronto last week while Team USA was playing in the World Baseball Classic. And let's just say that Chipper ain't much of a fan of Toronto.

"We stayed in Toronto for a week and played three games," Chipper told the Atlanta Journal Constitution, via Deadspin. "I don't know if you ever stayed in Toronto, but it's not exactly Las Vegas. To say that we were plucking our eyebrows out one at a time would be an understatement."

In some ways, Chipper's statement is true: Toronto definitely isn't Las Vegas. But as someone who has been to Las Vegas, Toronto, and Atlanta, like Chipper, I will gladly take Toronto over either Vegas or Atlanta. Now I only spent four days in Toronto, but I fell in love with the place. The people were friendly. It had a lively downtown area with shops and clubs and bars and restaurants. You could do cheap. You could do expensive. It has a Second City comedy club. It's got major league baseball, and the NBA, and the NHL, and the AHL. I'm told that it even has strip clubs.

Sure, Vegas has the Strip and the casinos and the fancy clubs and the strippers and the organized crime and the prostitutes. But I've never been able to take Vegas for more than four days, and I've always been rather relieved to leave. And Atlanta has never done that much for me. It's like a miniature Houston -- small downtown surrounded by millions of suburbs.

But I liked Toronto. And though I don't live in Toronto, I find it sad that Chipper Jones doesn't like Toronto.

Like A Pinch On The Neck From Mr. Spock

It's been a bit depressing over here the past couple of days. I'm truly sorry about that. But maybe I need to get the day off to a different start. So I thought I would try to see if the video jukebox could kick out a little something that might get me in a brighter mood.

So here's the Beastie Boys with "Intergalactic."

Boone to Have Surgery

I mentioned yesterday that the Astros were holding a press conference this morning. And I linked to a rumor that the Astos were going to announce the signing of Pedro Martinez. Well, the Astros did hold their press conference, but it had nothing to do with Pedro Martinez.

It was announced today that Aaron Boone -- the team's big off-season free agent acquisition -- would miss the season because he is having open heart surgery. To this, I say best of luck to Boone.

This news means that Chris Johnson, who's never played in the majors, will probably get a roster spot for this season, and that he might actually start the season at third base with Geoff Blum, who was supposed to platoon with Boone, moving back to a super-sub utility status.

And before I go, one thing on Pedro Martinez. Don't do it, Drayton. Pedro Martinez was once one of the game's greatest pitchers. Now he's injury prone who has lost some speed on his fastball.

On Setting Goals And Not Meeting Them

I've been stuck in this unemployment thing before. Long, long ago when the economy was in decent shape -- it was late last century. I know that I'm supposed to establish some kind of routine so that I wake up at a decent time, shower, shave every day, makes calls/return e-mails, work on contacts, etc.

But I'm not there yet. I'm still trying to figure a schedule.

But along with a schedule, I'm still trying to figure my psyche.

The first time I was without work for a long, long time was not my fault. My boss and I had an ethics disagreement. I had ethics, he didn't. So I was fired. I bounced around doing contract work for four/five years, did the bankruptcy thing, found someway to survive.

I don't want to do that again. It's been 10 years now, and I don't want to have to reboot my entire life again. And this time, the job loss wasn't my fault. I was good at my work. I was told I was good at it, they just didn't have anymore.

But I feel like a failure. A big failure. Even more so this time than I did the last time out. Perhaps because I have more at stake, financially, emotionally, physically, etc. Perhaps because I was damn good at my job and I know that I was damn good at it. So I've got this plan in my head, this schedule to which I want to stick, but I can't get my head wrapped around the idea that I'm not going in to the office that day. And then I start getting a bit depressed and my day ends up being shot.

I thought it would be easier this time. I've got my resumes out. I've met with recruiters. I've done what I'm supposed to do. So I thought I would work on that a bit in the morning, read the internets and blog for an hour or so, work on my novel throughout the rest of the morning and the afternoon, blog a bit more. Then it would be night.

My schedule.

But it's not working.

I seem to be failing at that as much as I've failed at other things.

But I suppose I'll give it another try today. I've showered. I've shaved. I've looked over the internets and I've blogged. I've got to go downtown to handle some banking matters relating to my 401k. I've got my nieces birthday party tonight -- I'm always in a good mood around my nieces and nephew for the world has no boundaries as far as they're concerned, and they think I'm a great guy.

Will I get all of this done? Well, if the rest of this week sets any kind of precedent, the answer is no. But I will see my niece for her birthday. So that's one thing I'll accomplish that I actually set out to accomplish. And I guess that's a start.

Reading The Astros Tea Leaves

The Astros are holding a press conference, in Florida, tomorrow morning at 7:45 Houston time. And it's not supposed to be about the signing of Ivan Rodriguez.

So what's going on?

There are rumors out there that the Astros are going to announce the signing of Pedro Martinez. Personally, I'm hoping that it's an announcement that Drayton is selling the team. But we're just going to have to wait until they actually tell us something tomorrow.

I Am I Said

I was watching the MLB Network earlier today, and they were doing one of their spring training team reviews. This one focused on the Cleveland Indians.

One of the network's reporters, Hazel Mae, was on the scene, and she was talking to the guys in the studio about Carl Pavano. She made note that the Indians, unlike Pavano's former team, the New York Yankees, didn't have a policy banning facial hair, to which she quotes Pavano as saying "Finally get to be myself."

What does "finally get to be myself" mean? That he'll actually start more than two games a season? That he won't make one season-long trip to the DL? I'm not a Yankees fan, but this guy was a fraud with the Yankees, and he'll probably wind up as one with the Indians, too.

But at least he'll get to be himself.

The Story of The Broken Noses

My eight-year-old nephew got to come to the Aeros game on Sunday afternoon. And along with seeing the Aeros win, he got to see Mitch Love fight. I asked him what his favorite part of the game was, and he said the Love fight.

I took him down to the locker room after the game, and he got to meet Mitch Love real briefly. Well, Mitch broke his nose in that fight, and he is having surgery on it today.

Here's where the story gets really interesting. To me at least.

Yesterday, my nephew was playing in the park with some kids in my Mom's neighborhood -- he's in town for spring break. And he was running around over the playground stuff and he tripped on something concrete and landed on his face. While they haven't taken Zach to the doctor, my brother and sister-in-law are pretty sure that he broke his nose.

So like his favorite player, my nephew has a broken nose.

Like I said, that's probably only of interest to me. But hey, if I can't share this stuff on my blog, then of what use is my blog, huh?

The Astros Finally Get Something Right

Hey, the Astros finally got something right. They have finally signed Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez to a contract to be the team's catcher this season.

I'm a Rodriguez fan, and even with his diminishing stats he's still better than every other catcher on the Astros roster. And they got a great deal on him, signing him to a one year contract of $1.5 million with an extra $1.5 million possible in incentives.

The Astros are still going to suck this season. But at least the catching will be somewhat decent.

If You Want The Aeros, Try The New Place

HEY! Over here.

If you're looking for my Aeros game reports, and if you want desperately to know what happened with the Aeros this weekend, then you're at the wrong place. I'm posting that stuff over at the new site, The Third Intermission. So go read. And make sure you read the stuff from Ms. Conduct and Andrew Ferraro, and gaze in wonderment at the photos of Fred Trask.

Checking In On The Lastros

I get tired of people telling me how to be a good fan, especially the guys at the Chron. I get tired of them telling me that I should just accept whatever Drayton McLane wants to do with his team. I'm tired of being told that good fans should just shut up and cheer no matter what.

Yes, Richard Justice is right. Spring training records don't count. They don't mean anything in the greater sense of the word. Players are working to get into the proper shape. Pitchers are working on location. But...

The Astros are 1-14-2 as of this moment. Just about every pitcher on their roster is getting beat around -- except for Roy Oswalt who is off play with Team USA. The hitters aren't hitting. The fielders aren't fielding.

This isn't Cecil Cooper's fault. It's a bad team. I don't know if Tony La Russa could make this team work. But that doesn't mean that I should just accept things. That doesn't mean that I should be satisfied with this team. And no, it doesn't mean that if the Astros start the regular season at 2-0 behind the stellar pitching of Roy Oswalt and Mike Hampton that I'm going to decide that this is a pennant winning team. Richard Justice will do that, but I won't.

P.S.: Oh, and while I'm at it, SI.com's Jon Heyman reports that the Astros are engaged in serious discussions with Ivan Rodriguez to handle the catching duties for the Astros. And Jose de Jesus Ortiz reports that many of the Astros players are actively lobbying for the signing of Rodriguez. The guy's one of the best catchers, ever. The team's going to suck, but maybe he can be of use and actually help some of the youngsters. And if they don't mind Miguel Tejada hanging around, then the linking of Rodriguez to steroids shouldn't really be a problem.

Who Says There's No Depression? Not The Astros

This is just getting ridiculous. The Astros lost another spring training game to move their spring record to 1-12-1. Sure, it's spring training, but they've only won one damn game for spring.

The pitching sucks. The hitting sucks. The fielding sucks. Hell, Richard Justice has flip-flopped again, and he's decided that it's now suddenly a good idea to sign Ivan Rodriguez to be the team's catcher. Cecil Cooper is unhappy and bitching about his players, kind of like he did last year before they started winning and turned into the greatest team in MLB history -- that is probably what you thought if you read the Chron. And Miguel Tejada, who previously had refused to play third base, or to even consider playing third base, is suddenly willing to play third base.

This is a bad team, and it's looking like it's going to be a bad team that makes bad teams look like good teams. The Houston Press isn't going to let me write every game this year -- not enough readers -- so I was thinking of doing it over here, but damn. I just don't know. This team looks so bad, and my life sucks enough as it is right now. So I don't know if I want to depress myself any more than I already am. And I'm not even going to be able to afford the MLB Extra Innings package this year, so there's not going to be any chance of watching any good baseball either.

Planning The Next Step

This whole unemployment thing has me thrown for a loop, and I suppose I should be blogging about it. But...

I doubt that any of you out there want to hear my whines. So this place might be kind of quiet for a few days as I try to figure out my next steps.

A Little Cross-Promotion

I'm a bit slow in noting this over here, but life's been interfering with things.

Anyway, for those of you who haven't been over to the mothership in a couple of days, I've got a little contest running until Friday, April 3rd. It's the Astros Marketing Slogan Contest. All of the rules are explained over there. And if you've got any suggestions, just leave them in the comment section to that post.

And while I'm doing the cross-promotion thing, don't forget to check out The Third Intermission if you have any interest in Aeros hockey.

Who Watches The Watchmen? No One, Hopefully

This is just a quick little warning. If you had any urge to see the Watchmen, then take it from me...

DON'T!!!!!!!!!!

I've seen some bad films over the years. But this is one of the worst movies that I've seen in years. And you know, most filmmakers adopt comic books, they keep most of the story, but actually do a little rewriting when it comes to the dialogue. And that's generally a good idea.

Not this time.

I don't know if I can say this anymore forcefully.

DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE!!!!!

DON'T GO!!!!!!!

DON'T!!!!!!

And Speaking of The Cash Family

The last several days, I've played videos from Johnny Cash and Roseanne Cash. So here's one from their former son-in-law/brother-in-law, British rocker/Elvis Costello producer Nick Lowe -- Lowe was once married to Cash's daughter Carlene Carter. And here he is perfoming "I Love The Sound of Breaking Glass" from his unappreciated Jesus Is Cool album.

Prophecy

God, when I set that Johnny Cash song to play today -- and I did that on Sunday night -- I had no idea how prophetic it would be. Let's just say that I had some really crappy stuff happen yesterday that I can't really talk about. I'll try to get back to some standard nonsense in a few days, but...

I really need time to sulk.

UDPATE: Yes, I'm a frigging idiot because I've had prophecy misspelled in the headline for about eight hours.