I got this in the e-mail box the other day. Strange, I never got this one when I had a job.
Welcome!
You were recently appointed as a biographical candidate to be listed in the 2009/2010 online Princeton Who’s Who Registry among Executives and Professionals.
We are pleased to inform you that your candidacy was approved. Your prompt response is needed to ensure your correct professional information. For accuracy purposes, please be sure to visit your personal application to verify your biographical information at:
http://mywhoswhoapplication99.com/55
The office of the Managing Director appoints individuals based upon a candidate’s current position, and usually with information obtained from researched executive and professional listings. The Director thinks that you may make an interesting biographical subject, as individual achievement is what Princeton Who’s Who is all about.
Upon final confirmation, you will be listed among thousands of accomplished individuals in the Princeton Who’s Who Registry. Remember, your listing is a privilege, and not based on paying a fee.
On behalf of the Managing Director, we look forward to your appearance in this year’s edition.
Best wishes for continued success.
Sincerely,
Jennifer Rivera
Editor
How stupid do they think I am? I'm approaching my second month of unemployment, and they want to list me as an accomplished executive? Hah!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Heidi Klum's Back To Inspire The Aeros
On Monday night I posted a photo of Heidi Klum to inspire the Houston Aeros on to victory. And they won. Which means I'm doing it again.
The Pole Dancing Championships
I didn't know pole dancing was an actual competition. But then again, I don't know lots of things. You can find the safe for work video here. Sorry, I don't think they do this competition in the nude.
About That Stay Home From Work Thing
I always like these messages we get from government officials during disaster times. If you don't have to go to work, then don't go. That's the latest we're hearing from everybody about the swine flu. If you feel ill, don't be a hero, stay home.
Well, I'm unemployed now, so I don't have an option, but...
That's not how the real world works. It's okay for people with salaried jobs to take a sick day. Even people who work for hourly wages can take a sick day or two, but there comes a time when an employer is simply not going to pay someone for following government advice and staying home. For instance, at the place I used to work, there was a problem last August when a tropical storm came in north of Houston. Depending on the time in the day when a person called in to the switchboard, that person heard one of three messages: don't come in; exercise your own discretion; or the office is open, please report to work.
Those who followed one of the first two messages and didn't come into work were forced by the New York office to use a sick day or a holiday, or if they had none of those left, were docked a day's pay. And I'm sure most businesses are like that. So after awhile, businesses will dock the pay of those who don't come in.
Which means that some people will have trouble paying bills. And when it comes to that, saying that they were just following orders and not coming into work isn't going to matter. Because these people want their money no matter what. So unless the government tells the utilities, credit cards, etc., to lay off people for a couple of weeks during this thing, then most people are still going to go into work sick. Not because they're playing hero. But because they don't have any choice.
Well, I'm unemployed now, so I don't have an option, but...
That's not how the real world works. It's okay for people with salaried jobs to take a sick day. Even people who work for hourly wages can take a sick day or two, but there comes a time when an employer is simply not going to pay someone for following government advice and staying home. For instance, at the place I used to work, there was a problem last August when a tropical storm came in north of Houston. Depending on the time in the day when a person called in to the switchboard, that person heard one of three messages: don't come in; exercise your own discretion; or the office is open, please report to work.
Those who followed one of the first two messages and didn't come into work were forced by the New York office to use a sick day or a holiday, or if they had none of those left, were docked a day's pay. And I'm sure most businesses are like that. So after awhile, businesses will dock the pay of those who don't come in.
Which means that some people will have trouble paying bills. And when it comes to that, saying that they were just following orders and not coming into work isn't going to matter. Because these people want their money no matter what. So unless the government tells the utilities, credit cards, etc., to lay off people for a couple of weeks during this thing, then most people are still going to go into work sick. Not because they're playing hero. But because they don't have any choice.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Way Out West...
I often bitch about and then post commercials which really bug me or that I don't get. But I thought that fair is fair. And every time I see that mini-sirloin burger from Jack In The Box commercial, I laugh my head off. I love this thing.
So for those of you in states that might not have Jack In The Box, I give you one of the best things on television.
So for those of you in states that might not have Jack In The Box, I give you one of the best things on television.
A Plea For A Little Common Sense
I'm well aware that I live in Texas -- I am a native unlike many so-called well-known Texans -- and that the state is run by some of the stupidest morons ever born. Seriously, some of the idiots in Texas state government make Sarah Palin look like a Rhodes Scholar -- not to insult some of our greatest Rhodes Scholars. So I know making a plea for common sense when it comes to how this state handles the swine flu issue is falling on deaf ears, but...
COME ON!
The state University Interscholastic League -- which handles high school sports in Texas -- has suspended all high school sports activities in the state until May 11 because of swine flu fears. I see the reasoning here, kind of. It's the kids who seem to be getting sick, so lets keep them away from each other and not hold big events where the disease can spread.
But note, college sporting events haven't been cancelled. Professional sporting events haven't been cancelled. Movie theaters haven't been closed. Concert halls haven't been closed. The schools haven't been shut down. But cancelling high school sports is going to solve this problem.
Look, I'm sure this is a severe health issue. And as one with health insurance issues, I definitely don't want this to grow even bigger. But I don't think fanning the flames and causing a panic are the way to go -- I was stuck in Rita evacuation traffic because I lived in a mandatory evac zone but had to deal with all of the cowards in The Woodlands who didn't want to go without electricity for a few hours. And frankly, most of what I'm seeing from state government actions and the media is less on the information side and more on the "OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" side.
So let's get start using some common sense. If you're not closing down all of the other places the teenage kids can gather, then why shut down their sports?
But once again, I do live in Texas. And common sense and Texas don't often go together.
COME ON!
The state University Interscholastic League -- which handles high school sports in Texas -- has suspended all high school sports activities in the state until May 11 because of swine flu fears. I see the reasoning here, kind of. It's the kids who seem to be getting sick, so lets keep them away from each other and not hold big events where the disease can spread.
But note, college sporting events haven't been cancelled. Professional sporting events haven't been cancelled. Movie theaters haven't been closed. Concert halls haven't been closed. The schools haven't been shut down. But cancelling high school sports is going to solve this problem.
Look, I'm sure this is a severe health issue. And as one with health insurance issues, I definitely don't want this to grow even bigger. But I don't think fanning the flames and causing a panic are the way to go -- I was stuck in Rita evacuation traffic because I lived in a mandatory evac zone but had to deal with all of the cowards in The Woodlands who didn't want to go without electricity for a few hours. And frankly, most of what I'm seeing from state government actions and the media is less on the information side and more on the "OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" side.
So let's get start using some common sense. If you're not closing down all of the other places the teenage kids can gather, then why shut down their sports?
But once again, I do live in Texas. And common sense and Texas don't often go together.
Some Random Observations About My Trip To Peoria
I've spent the past couple of days traveling between Houston and Peoria with long stopovers in Detroit and Atlanta. Now I travel a lot, and I would say I'm a pretty experienced traveler, but this is the first time that I've traveled in order to actually cover a sporting event as a beat reporter.So, of course, I've got some observations about the trip.
1. For instance, when you're waiting in Detroit to board your regional jet, the one thing you don't want to hear the pilot of your flight, who's up at the check-in desk, asking the pilot who's just walked off of the plane is "so what exactly is wrong with her?"
2. And then there's the fun that comes from boarding that plane, sitting on it for half-an-hour, about 20 minutes of which are without A/C, then having the pilot come over the speaker and tell everybody that one of the reasons we're running just a bit late is that he's a back-up pilot who was just called in because the other guy got sick, and we can't take off because they still haven't located a co-pilot.
3. The Detroit Airport has messages praising the city as Hockey Town, U.S.A. Thus it's kind of strange that you can buy Detroit Tigers merchandise. And Detroit Lions merchandise. And Michigan and Michigan State merchandise inside the airport, but there is no Detroit Red Wings merchandise being sold anywhere.
4. I always get to the airport really early -- that comes from having flown stand-by a lot earlier in my life and thus knowing the earlier you get there the better the chance of getting a seat. So even though my flight was leading Peoria at 10:20, I was there by 8:20. Which was a good thing because the security checkpoint was closed while the security staff went on break.
5. In the time that it takes for them to make the announcement upon leaving Detroit that you can turn on your electronic devices, to the time when approaching Peoria that they ask you to turn them off, you can listen to Abbey Road.
6. Conversely, given that same announcement time frame period from Peoria to Atlanta, you can listen to Love.
7. Delta/Northwest no longer have free food on their flights. They sell M&Ms and Pringles for $2.00 to $3.00. Luckily, the soft drinks are still free, but I think the plastic cups are smaller.
8. After you've been sitting on your plane at the gate in Detroit while waiting for the co-pilot, the one thing you don't want to hear over the speakers is that they're having maintenance issues with the plane.
9. Strike that, the one thing you don't want to hear while you're crammed into your regional jet waiting for the co-pilot, is a gate supervisor coming on the plane and announcing that they can't fix the mechanical issue so you have to deplane and head for another gate where another plane is supposedly waiting.
10. How come it costs more to eat at a McDonald's in an airport than it does a McDonald's on the side of the freeway?
11. No matter how often I fly, I'm always amazed that every flight has at least one person who thinks that message about turning off the electronic appliances doesn't apply to him.
12. And no matter how often I fly, I'm always amazed that at least three people in front of me in the security line have never flown before because they always try to walk through the metal detector with all of the change in their pockets, wearing their belt, shoes, and jacket and carrying a bottle of water.
13. And it amazes me more because the last two people don't pay attention to the first bozo having to go through the metal detector eight times because they repeat the exact same mistake each time.
14. Yet it's always me, who does everything exactly right, who gets pulled aside by security and is then asked to prove that his laptop, which he pulled out of his bag -- unlike the ass in the three-piece suit who tried to send it through otherwise -- is indeed a laptop computer.
15. I've been to some small airports in my life. But for the life of me, I can't think of any smaller than Peoria's airport.
16. Here are some words you don't want to hear coming from the cockpit of the second plane that you had to board because of the mechanical problems to the first and on which you've now been sitting for thirty minutes after the plane pulled away from the gate and sat idling on the tarmac: "Sorry for the delay, but we're having some mechanical issues."
17. This was my first time inside Atlanta's airport in about two years. It's still a jumbled mess that must be based on the floor plans for Hell.
18. Chicken Fingers are chicken fingers whether you're getting them inside the Carver Arena in Peoria, or the Toyota Center in Houston. However, Chicken Fingers, fries, and a large drink are actually cheaper at the Toyota Center.
19. While waiting for security to open up the checkpoint in Peoria's airport, I was forced to watch Fox News Channel. The most important story in the world: Swine Flu and how we're all about to die. Inside security, waiting at the gate, the TV was on Headline News. The most important story in the world: it was flooding in Houston.
20. One thing I've learned, but don't always practice, but should, is that, if you're nice to the ticket agents, check-in clerks, etc., they'll be nice to you and do you small favors.
21. The inverse is true with the TSA morons. Be as rude to them as possible because they don't respond to anything else.
22. And when dealing with TSA, ignore all of the rules, don't pay attention, keep your change in pockets, don't take off your shoes, don't take out your computer or your liquids, and everything will be fine. But follow all of the rules and expect to get pulled aside.
23. It's strange watching people wear surgical masks in the airport. Especially when they're Asian people just getting off of Northwest Airlines flight in Detroit and that flight went nowhere near Mexico.
24. I was shocked to be on a packed flight to Detroit. A packed flight leaving Detroit I'd understand, but going to Detroit? That really threw me for a loop.
25. But as much as I hate Atlanta's airport, it's still better than Houston's airports. Same with Detroit's. Peoria's, not so much.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Adventures in Traveling -- The Houston To Detroit To Peoria Edition
I'm in travel mode at the moment. My buddies over that The Third Intermission chipped in to send me to Peoria for Monday night's Game Seven between the Houston Aeros and the Peoria Rivermen -- they thought that one of the guys who covers the Aeros should be there and they chose the unemployed guy.
Anyway, it's been a long day of travel with still more to come before I get back today. So don't expect much over here today. To make up for that, I thought I would post some images from my travel so far.
Anyway, it's been a long day of travel with still more to come before I get back today. So don't expect much over here today. To make up for that, I thought I would post some images from my travel so far.
Yes, that's Heidi Klum on the cover of the Northwest Airlines in-flight magazine. I think that's always a good omen.
This is a walkway that takes you between concourses in Detroit. It's kind of weird. And I swear, as you're walking through, they're playing this music that makes it sound like your in Blade Runner.
This is a tram that takes you between gates in case your too lazy to walk.
Yes, the airport was rather empty. But I can't really see many people going to Detroit in the first place. I was there because that was the easiest way to get to Peoria -- I'll explain that on another day.
And this is the lobby of my hotel in Peoria as I look down from the walkway in front of my room.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sex Sells -- Inspiring The Aeros
Okay, this photo of Heidi Klum always inspires me. So let's hope it inspires the Aeros on to victory tonight.
The Video Jukebox Is Pulling For The Aeros
The Aeros are playing a Game Seven tonight against the Peoria Rivermen. And they're playing on the road. After blowing a Game Six in the third period. So I would say that if any team is the underdog then it's the Aeros tonight.
So here's Spoon with "The Underdog."
So here's Spoon with "The Underdog."
The Latest From The Get Rich Scams
I just thought I would share the latest money-making get-rich scam that I have received in my e-mail. It's not as bad as the last one I shared, but still, do people really fall for these things? I'm nowhere near desperate enough to give this thing a try. And I'm posting this as I received it, typos, misspellings, and all.
From Mr. Martinez Reich
79 Strand
Charing Cross,London,WC2R 0DE,
United Kingdom.
Dear friend,
I have the courage to ask for your assistance in my desire to invest in your country, I believe that you can handle this important and confidential business hoping that you will never let me down either now or in the future.
I know that this letter might surprise you because; we have not met neither in person nor by correspondence. But I believe it is one day that you get know somebody either in physical or through correspondence.
I am Mr. Martinez Reich, the Personal Accountant to Late "John Shumejda" who opend an account in this bank in 1992 and since year 2002 nobody has operated on this account again. After going through some old files in the records, I discovered that if I do not move this money out urgently it will be forfeited for nothing. The owner of this account was Late "John Shumejda" who died on 4th Ja n 2002 in a plane crash in Birmingham.
No other person knows about this account or any thing concerning it,and my investigation proved to me also that the account has no other beneficiary and the amount involved is {£15,000,000.00} Fifteen Million pounds sterlings.
I need your full cooperation in transferring this dormant fund out of our bank to avoid confiscating this fund. I will split the transfer into two 2 stages for easy and smooth transfer. First, I will transfer £5,000,000.00 to any valid foreign account you will provide, upon it's successful transfer without any disappointment from your side; I will then fly to meet you in your country for sharing, thereafter we will jointly transfer the remaining balance of £10,000,000.00 for magnitude investments.
I want to tell you that this transaction is 100% risk free and legal because all the documents that will back up this transaction will be available, so that nobody will question the fund when it is finaly transfered into yo uraccount.
With my position now in the office I can tra! nsfer th is money to any foreigner's reliable account, which you can provide with assurance that this money will be intact pending my physical arrival in your country for sharingand I want to assure you that your share has been calculated at 35% of the total sum.
I want to ask you to quietly look for a reliable and honest person who will be capable and fit to provide either an existing bank account or to set up a new Bank a/c immediately to receive this money, even an empty a/c can serve to receive this money, as long as you will remain honest to me till the end for this important business trusting in you and believing in God that you will never let me down either now or in future.
Kindly reply to me stating your interest, and I shall give you more information and the necessary proceedure to make the transfer. Contact me through this my personal email address:< martin202@Safe-mail.net >
Waiting to hear from you.
Warmest regards,
Yours truly,
Mr.Martinez Reich.
Personal Accountant.
United Kingdom.
Tel: +44-7024024743
If any of you want to give this shot, then feel free. But seriously, how can anybody not see these things as scams? Really. Come on. Who's that stupid?
From Mr. Martinez Reich
79 Strand
Charing Cross,London,WC2R 0DE,
United Kingdom.
Dear friend,
I have the courage to ask for your assistance in my desire to invest in your country, I believe that you can handle this important and confidential business hoping that you will never let me down either now or in the future.
I know that this letter might surprise you because; we have not met neither in person nor by correspondence. But I believe it is one day that you get know somebody either in physical or through correspondence.
I am Mr. Martinez Reich, the Personal Accountant to Late "John Shumejda" who opend an account in this bank in 1992 and since year 2002 nobody has operated on this account again. After going through some old files in the records, I discovered that if I do not move this money out urgently it will be forfeited for nothing. The owner of this account was Late "John Shumejda" who died on 4th Ja n 2002 in a plane crash in Birmingham.
No other person knows about this account or any thing concerning it,and my investigation proved to me also that the account has no other beneficiary and the amount involved is {£15,000,000.00} Fifteen Million pounds sterlings.
I need your full cooperation in transferring this dormant fund out of our bank to avoid confiscating this fund. I will split the transfer into two 2 stages for easy and smooth transfer. First, I will transfer £5,000,000.00 to any valid foreign account you will provide, upon it's successful transfer without any disappointment from your side; I will then fly to meet you in your country for sharing, thereafter we will jointly transfer the remaining balance of £10,000,000.00 for magnitude investments.
I want to tell you that this transaction is 100% risk free and legal because all the documents that will back up this transaction will be available, so that nobody will question the fund when it is finaly transfered into yo uraccount.
With my position now in the office I can tra! nsfer th is money to any foreigner's reliable account, which you can provide with assurance that this money will be intact pending my physical arrival in your country for sharingand I want to assure you that your share has been calculated at 35% of the total sum.
I want to ask you to quietly look for a reliable and honest person who will be capable and fit to provide either an existing bank account or to set up a new Bank a/c immediately to receive this money, even an empty a/c can serve to receive this money, as long as you will remain honest to me till the end for this important business trusting in you and believing in God that you will never let me down either now or in future.
Kindly reply to me stating your interest, and I shall give you more information and the necessary proceedure to make the transfer. Contact me through this my personal email address:< martin202@Safe-mail.net >
Waiting to hear from you.
Warmest regards,
Yours truly,
Mr.Martinez Reich.
Personal Accountant.
United Kingdom.
Tel: +44-7024024743
If any of you want to give this shot, then feel free. But seriously, how can anybody not see these things as scams? Really. Come on. Who's that stupid?
Funny, For A State That Wants To Secede, Texas Sure Wants Fed Medical Help
I've got no problem with requesting the CDC for some medical assistance with the swine flu problem in Mexico. Texas is rather close to Mexico, after all. But...
I have a problem with Governor Rick Perry asking for some of this assistance, seeing as how he kind of thinks it might be okay to secede from the U.S. because he doesn't like the actions of the Federal Government. Ricky, if you don't like it when the Feds dictate how to spend stimulus funds, and this makes you want to form your own country, then you really need to consistent and do this on your own.
Sure, the Texas government is run by a bunch of right-wing nutjobs who don't believe in science. Isn't this the perfect chance for your god to show just how powerful he really is? He wouldn't need the help, would he?
Like I said, I like the Feds coming in for this. But I just kind of think the governor should back up his words with real actions.
I have a problem with Governor Rick Perry asking for some of this assistance, seeing as how he kind of thinks it might be okay to secede from the U.S. because he doesn't like the actions of the Federal Government. Ricky, if you don't like it when the Feds dictate how to spend stimulus funds, and this makes you want to form your own country, then you really need to consistent and do this on your own.
Sure, the Texas government is run by a bunch of right-wing nutjobs who don't believe in science. Isn't this the perfect chance for your god to show just how powerful he really is? He wouldn't need the help, would he?
Like I said, I like the Feds coming in for this. But I just kind of think the governor should back up his words with real actions.
Sex Sells -- Unless You're Hiking In Switzerland Edition
I came across this news item today, so of course I had to offer a comment.
But one of the interior cantons of Switzerland has banned nude hiking along the Swiss Alps. While I didn't know that nude hiking was that a big of a deal, it seems that the Germans get a big kick out of doing this.
Apparently the Swiss objected because they were tired of being out for walks and stumbling upon nude Germans enjoying the trails. And I can understand this because I don't think I would like stumbling upon nude Germans if I was taking a daily walk.
Well, I probably wouldn't like it unless that nude German happened to be Heidi Klum.
Then again, I don't think most Germans look like Heidi Klum.
But one of the interior cantons of Switzerland has banned nude hiking along the Swiss Alps. While I didn't know that nude hiking was that a big of a deal, it seems that the Germans get a big kick out of doing this.
Apparently the Swiss objected because they were tired of being out for walks and stumbling upon nude Germans enjoying the trails. And I can understand this because I don't think I would like stumbling upon nude Germans if I was taking a daily walk.
Well, I probably wouldn't like it unless that nude German happened to be Heidi Klum.
Then again, I don't think most Germans look like Heidi Klum.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
From The YouTubes, I Bring You Beavis and Butt-head
True story. Back when I was in Sacramento, working on my LL.M., I had these two friends, Denise and Rebbecca. And we were doing something stupid one day instead of paying attention in class, and for some reason we were assigning cartoon characters to each person in class. Toward the end, Rebbecca decided she and Denise would be Beavis and Butt-head. Denise, who didn't watch Beavis and Butt-head said that was fine as long as she was Beavis. And Rebbecca agreed because, as she said, that meant she got to be the smart one.
I bring this up merely because people keep trying to tell me that Family Guy is funny. So I thought I would share some video from an actually funny animation series. So here's some Beavis and Butt-head.
I bring this up merely because people keep trying to tell me that Family Guy is funny. So I thought I would share some video from an actually funny animation series. So here's some Beavis and Butt-head.
Uh, Are You Sure You Want Jon Gruden Talking About This?
So in between watching baseball and hockey this weekend, I've been watching the NFL Draft. I sometimes have difficulties with figuring out why people get so involved with this on TV as it generally bores me, but it was something to watch between real live sporting events.That said, I'm watching this morning while waiting for the Astros to come on get swept by the Milwaukee Brewers. But on the NFL Network, they're having a discussion about new Denver Broncos coach dumping Broncos QB Jay Cutler this past off-season. And maybe I'm the only one seeing the irony, but the guy leading the discussion about Cutler and how you don't dump an established QB like that is Jon Gruden, the recently deposed head coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
The irony being, of course, was that Gruden was seen as a collector of QBs while at Tampa Bay who would bench and cut and trade QBs for looking at him the wrong way. Like Jeff Garcia and Brian Griese and Chris Simms and Brad Johnson and Rob Johnson and Luke McCown and Tim Rattay and Bruce Gradkowski. I probably forgot a few QBs.
But I think the point is made. Perhaps Jon Gruden isn't the guy to be leading the dicussion on this topic.
Houston Astros Baseball Is Not Pretty
Just thought I would catch up on the Astros as the team finishes up a 10-game homestand in a couple of hours. And the catching up is going to be ugly.
The team is now 6-12 on the season, they are 3-6 on the homestand, and they are firmly entrenched in last place of the NL Central. Lance Berkman is making fans long for the bat of Adam Everett. Pudge Rodriguez is making fans long for the bat of Brad Ausmus. Humberto Quintero, who can't hit either, was put on the DL after being knocked around by Milwaukee's Mike Cameron on Friday night.
(As an aside for you idiots who don't really understand baseball -- like some of the morons who comment over at Chron.com -- Cameron's hit was clean as Quintero was blocking the plate and Cameron was trying to score. If Quintero didn't want to get hit, he should have got out of the way.)
The team's epic home run hitter, Carlos Lee, injured himself hitting a home run. Last night Geoff Geary absorbed his third loss in nine games. And last night closer Jose Valverde blew another save as the Astros lost in extra innings.
In short, the Astros are a bad damn team. They appear to be even worse than I thought, and I thought they were going to be very bad. It sucks to be a baseball fan in Houston.
The team is now 6-12 on the season, they are 3-6 on the homestand, and they are firmly entrenched in last place of the NL Central. Lance Berkman is making fans long for the bat of Adam Everett. Pudge Rodriguez is making fans long for the bat of Brad Ausmus. Humberto Quintero, who can't hit either, was put on the DL after being knocked around by Milwaukee's Mike Cameron on Friday night.
(As an aside for you idiots who don't really understand baseball -- like some of the morons who comment over at Chron.com -- Cameron's hit was clean as Quintero was blocking the plate and Cameron was trying to score. If Quintero didn't want to get hit, he should have got out of the way.)
The team's epic home run hitter, Carlos Lee, injured himself hitting a home run. Last night Geoff Geary absorbed his third loss in nine games. And last night closer Jose Valverde blew another save as the Astros lost in extra innings.
In short, the Astros are a bad damn team. They appear to be even worse than I thought, and I thought they were going to be very bad. It sucks to be a baseball fan in Houston.
Pardon Me While I Go Off On A Rant
Pardon me while I go off on a political note here for a moment, but...
Why is that for about a period of eight years, whenever I dared to question the policies or actions of George W. Bush, I was told that I hated America? Why is it that I if I were to raise a voice of concern about our country's actions, I was called unpatriotic? Why is that I was told that Bush was president and that I was supposed to shut and take it up because elections have consequences?
Why is now, that a Democrat is president, that many of these people who told me to shut up and take it want to secede from the United States. Aren't they now the traitors that I was accused of being? Aren't they the ones who are unpatriotic and who hate America? I think that all of this talk in Texas about secession is the talk of a large group of morons fueled by idiots like Glenn Beck who would run away and hide like cowards should they actually have to follow through on their actions.
And to all of you, I'm going to tell you what I was sold often told: shut the fuck up and take it because elections have consequences. You lost. Now grow up and go on with your lives. Like I did. You sure as hell didn't hear me talking about seceding from the US when Dubya was in charge. You didn't hear me talk about running away to another country. I stayed here and worked and tried to earn income and did everything I could to get some people with some intelligence into positions of power. So if I can act like an adult. You can act like an adult.
Now back to posts about sports, girls in bikinis, and my pathetic attempts to find a new job.
Why is that for about a period of eight years, whenever I dared to question the policies or actions of George W. Bush, I was told that I hated America? Why is it that I if I were to raise a voice of concern about our country's actions, I was called unpatriotic? Why is that I was told that Bush was president and that I was supposed to shut and take it up because elections have consequences?
Why is now, that a Democrat is president, that many of these people who told me to shut up and take it want to secede from the United States. Aren't they now the traitors that I was accused of being? Aren't they the ones who are unpatriotic and who hate America? I think that all of this talk in Texas about secession is the talk of a large group of morons fueled by idiots like Glenn Beck who would run away and hide like cowards should they actually have to follow through on their actions.
And to all of you, I'm going to tell you what I was sold often told: shut the fuck up and take it because elections have consequences. You lost. Now grow up and go on with your lives. Like I did. You sure as hell didn't hear me talking about seceding from the US when Dubya was in charge. You didn't hear me talk about running away to another country. I stayed here and worked and tried to earn income and did everything I could to get some people with some intelligence into positions of power. So if I can act like an adult. You can act like an adult.
Now back to posts about sports, girls in bikinis, and my pathetic attempts to find a new job.
Adventures in Unemployment -- The Latest From Monster.com
I thought I would share, once again, the latest job match from Monster.com -- keep in mind that I'm an attorney who has been licensed as such for 15+ years, and that my Bachelor's is in Radio-Television with a minor in English who graduated with membership in the University of Houston's Honors Program (now Honors College).
Even though I informed Monster.com of all of this when I did the online paperwork, and even though I requested info and job matches from the legal industry, my matches always seem to be from another world and going to a person who is nothing like me. Like some of the things I've mentioned in the past, like a cook for The Cheesecake Factory in San Antonio or as a surgical nurse. And today, I get matched up with some company called Skilled Therapy and Rehab Services, PLLC. Monster.com thinks I would make an excellent full-time therapist where I would work in an acute care and outpatient setting.
Amongst my duties would be restoring patients' functions, alleviating pain, preventing disability by planning, and administering medically prescribed physical therapy. Yeah, that sounds like a job for a lawyer. Actually, it sounds like something a lawyer might get involved with should the patient survive my services.
Just shoot me now.
Even though I informed Monster.com of all of this when I did the online paperwork, and even though I requested info and job matches from the legal industry, my matches always seem to be from another world and going to a person who is nothing like me. Like some of the things I've mentioned in the past, like a cook for The Cheesecake Factory in San Antonio or as a surgical nurse. And today, I get matched up with some company called Skilled Therapy and Rehab Services, PLLC. Monster.com thinks I would make an excellent full-time therapist where I would work in an acute care and outpatient setting.
Amongst my duties would be restoring patients' functions, alleviating pain, preventing disability by planning, and administering medically prescribed physical therapy. Yeah, that sounds like a job for a lawyer. Actually, it sounds like something a lawyer might get involved with should the patient survive my services.
Just shoot me now.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Sex Sells -- The Leading The Aeros On To Victory Edition
I think I've got the pattern down. If I post a photo of an SI swimsuit model right before an Aeros game, the Aeros win. So I'm not breaking that pattern. Here's Brooklyn Decker to isnpire the Aeros on to a series win over the Peoria Rivermen tonight.
What A Wayne Gretzky Gretzky Wayne-Up
The NHL, as a part of a constantly occurring effort to remain relevant, likes to have celebrities do blogs for the NHL.com website. And one celebrity that they've gotten for several years now is one Kevin Smith. Now if you've ever seen one of Smith's movies, or heard about Smith's movies, you know he's not the most family-friendly guy in the world.Yeah, he likes to cuss a lot. An awful fucking lot.
But he and the NHL worked out a deal. He could blog about his beloved New Jersey Devils, and instead of cussing, he would use a variation on the name Wayne Gretzky. You can read the one result here. Amazingly, it didn't work, and Mr. Smith and the NHL have parted ways.
Even using Gretzky to replace "fuck" was still a bit cutting edge for the NHL, and Smith, in good humor, has moved his NHL blog over to his own blog. And that makes sense, but...
It's the NHL. They used him last year, and some people got upset and didn't get the humor, yet they went back to him this year. He made an effort to clean up, and still the NHL couldn't take it. Which is their right. It's their website after all. But why ask the guy to come back if you're just going to dump him after one game? It makes no Gretzky sense. None.
Oh well. That's it. I just don't understand the logic. But then again, it appears that I don't understand the logic of lots of things now.
A Memo To Fox Sports Houston
Dear Fox Sports Houston,
I watch you often. Kind of. Generally. If the Astros are playing, then I'm watching you. I think Jim Deshaies and Bill Brown are the best sports broadcasting team in sports. Period. So I like to watch the Astros lose -- which they did again last night 5-2 -- and I like to listen to JD and Brownie talk about whatever JD wants to talk about when the games invariably get out of hand.
I don't watch the game for Patti Smith's interviews with people in the stands -- though her bit in spring training with JD's dad was funny. I especially don't watch Astros games to watch Patti Smith interview douchebags. Yet for the past three nights, you've had her interview douchebags. Wednesday night gave us an interview with steroids abuser and serial wife cheater Roger Clemens. Thursday night gave us hooker-loving, toe-sucking, state secrets sharing Fox News Analyst Dick Morris. And last night, you gave us some of the spoiled brat grand kids of George and Barbara Bush.
Stop it already. The way you people gush over the Bushes is bad enough as it is. But to turn the microphone over to five brats who have yet to accomplish a damn thing in their lives but be members of the lucky sperm club is just damn disgusting -- and you just had to get in another promo for the Fox News Channel by making sure that everybody new that one of the brats was interning with the "news" channel this summer.
So please stop it. Please. I'm turning on your channel to watch the Houston Astros and listen to JD and Brownie. If I want to listen to douchebags talk, I'll listen to the Astros games on the radio and try to figure out what game Milo Hamilton is watching.
Thank you for your consideration,
John W. Royal
I watch you often. Kind of. Generally. If the Astros are playing, then I'm watching you. I think Jim Deshaies and Bill Brown are the best sports broadcasting team in sports. Period. So I like to watch the Astros lose -- which they did again last night 5-2 -- and I like to listen to JD and Brownie talk about whatever JD wants to talk about when the games invariably get out of hand.
I don't watch the game for Patti Smith's interviews with people in the stands -- though her bit in spring training with JD's dad was funny. I especially don't watch Astros games to watch Patti Smith interview douchebags. Yet for the past three nights, you've had her interview douchebags. Wednesday night gave us an interview with steroids abuser and serial wife cheater Roger Clemens. Thursday night gave us hooker-loving, toe-sucking, state secrets sharing Fox News Analyst Dick Morris. And last night, you gave us some of the spoiled brat grand kids of George and Barbara Bush.
Stop it already. The way you people gush over the Bushes is bad enough as it is. But to turn the microphone over to five brats who have yet to accomplish a damn thing in their lives but be members of the lucky sperm club is just damn disgusting -- and you just had to get in another promo for the Fox News Channel by making sure that everybody new that one of the brats was interning with the "news" channel this summer.
So please stop it. Please. I'm turning on your channel to watch the Houston Astros and listen to JD and Brownie. If I want to listen to douchebags talk, I'll listen to the Astros games on the radio and try to figure out what game Milo Hamilton is watching.
Thank you for your consideration,
John W. Royal
Why Pam Beesly Is My Hero
One of the things that makes The Office one of the better shows on television is that, though it's a comedy, it captures perhaps better than any show currently on the air, what life in a real working environment is like. I explained part of its appeal to me in this post last week, and I was happy this week to see the Michael Scott Paper Company go out in style -- you also just had to know that by relying on Ryan Howard to devise the company financials that something would go wrong.But to me, it's the little things that happen in the show that really strike home. The bored salesman playing computer solitaire or doing crossword puzzles. The way that mundane tasks can become bearable by a little dark, gallows humor.
Then there was Thursday's show. The Michael Scott Paper Company is failing and the three principals sit on the floor and they're sharing some of the horrors of their life. Pam Beesly's horror is really rather mundane, which too me, is why it home so hard.
She's getting married. Her fiance is a salesman for Dunder Mifflin, the company she just left. His job is in jeopardy because of his relationship with Pam and Michael. He's just brought them a house, and her income at her new job isn't that much, and she's afraid she's about to lose that. So she's been looking for part-time weekend work at places like Target and Wal-Mart.
And they haven't been calling back her back. She goes by the store. She meets with a person to get an application. She fills it out. She drops it off. And nobody calls. Now she's overqualified for these jobs, but she would be great in a sales spot. But nobody calls.
That's my life. Not the Target/Wal-Mart thing. But nobody calling. I see these legal jobs advertised several times a day. There's an agency looking for attorneys to handle temp/contract work reviewing documents. The jobs will take from a week to three months. The pay is decent. The dress code casual. Just show up and review documents.
It's the most boring job in the world. But that's what I've been doing since August of 1997. That was virtually my sole responsibility at the job from which I was just laid off. So you would think that I would be perfect. That I would be one of the first people that they would call.
The jobs are easy. But not everybody can do them. It takes an attention to detail. You've got to be able to ignore the boredom. You will get dirty. You will be treated like crap. Lots of attorneys are above these jobs -- especially at the New York office of my former employer. But I'm good at it. I excel at it. I just have a talent for it. So you would think these agencies would call me. They would have me come in and fill out their forms then send me to whatever law firm needs the work done.
But no one calls.
And Jenna Fischer, the actress who plays Pam Beesly, captured the pain of knowing that she's not wanted. And the misapprehension of why a job she should be able to get easily won't touch her. The incomprehension. Everything that I've been feeling this actress, this character, let flash across her face for just a few short seconds.
Somebody understood my world. Thank you.
Adventures in Unemployment -- A Meandering Update on My Life
I thought I would return with some more of my tales from unemployment.
I actually felt like a human being for most of Friday as I was doing some real life work for my best friend. Unfortunately, the work won't last. It's interesting stuff. I wish that it would last. It won't. But damn it felt good to be treated like an actual human being today.
The work I can do my apartment. And I did some of that tonight while watching the Astros lose. I felt it was important to get out, however, so I did. I went to a Border's bookstore over by where I used to live -- about 20 miles from where I live now -- and sat in the little cafe area for about five hours drinking tea and doing my work. And it just felt like people were looking at me differently. I was no longer just an unemployed bum trying to steal something, I was an actual contributing member of society. I haven't felt like that in a long time -- about six weeks now.
And come this time next week, it'll all be over. I'll be one of the lazy bums seeking to rob all of you working people of your income. At least that's how it will feel.
But the state has actually decided that I exist, and they have finally authorized payment of my unemployment benefits. Of course, this being the state, I can't actually access those benefits because they're under the control of Chase Manhattan Bank. I should get a ATM card within a week or so, and I should be able to use that to access my funds. The money won't be much, but at least the drain on my bank accounts will slow a bit, which should stretch out the time that I can live without a legit job.
Then there's COBRA. The COBRA Administrator has determined that I exist, and that I have paid my $752 premium. Of course, today, I got another invoice, requesting the $752 which they acknowledge online that I've paid, and requesting $752 for my May premium. Now I don't have to pay that until the end of May, and I might wait to do that because I have also elected to take advantage of the new COBRA benefits bill signed by President Obama next month in which the government will pay 65% of my COBRA premium costs for nine months. So as I see it, I'm now a month or two ahead on what I actually need to pay. Of course, I'm assuming that it's going to take the COBRA folks a long time to acknowledge that I actually made the payment.
Now since I made my COBRA payment, I technically have the same medical insurance that I had while I was working. But as my COBRA Administrator stresses on all of their paperwork and on the website, it generally takes 30 days after receiving my first premium payment for them to contact my medical insurance provider, which means, to them, I'm not one of their insured at the moment.
God this sucks. I hope none of you get stuck in my situation. I really, really do.
And there's no luck on the job search. I won't have what I'm doing for long. And I've got no clue what comes next. I haven't heard anything from my recruiters in about a month. I suppose I'll start trying again next week. And other friends are still trying to find me something. Monster.com hasn't sent me any stupid recommendations lately, but I suppose that come June, I'll start trying for anything. I don't know.
On the bright side...I was bitching about how my family was treating me as if I know longer existed, but I actually heard from all of my immediate family this week. So I guess I'm no longer an exile, though I am clearly, once again, the failure of the family -- which is a role I seem to have filled for pretty much 13 of the past 20 years.
So that's my update for now. I hope you don't mind reading these. I hope that I capture some of the absurdity that is my life. I hope that none of you are going through what I'm going through. And otherwise, just thanks for reading and putting up with me.
I actually felt like a human being for most of Friday as I was doing some real life work for my best friend. Unfortunately, the work won't last. It's interesting stuff. I wish that it would last. It won't. But damn it felt good to be treated like an actual human being today.
The work I can do my apartment. And I did some of that tonight while watching the Astros lose. I felt it was important to get out, however, so I did. I went to a Border's bookstore over by where I used to live -- about 20 miles from where I live now -- and sat in the little cafe area for about five hours drinking tea and doing my work. And it just felt like people were looking at me differently. I was no longer just an unemployed bum trying to steal something, I was an actual contributing member of society. I haven't felt like that in a long time -- about six weeks now.
And come this time next week, it'll all be over. I'll be one of the lazy bums seeking to rob all of you working people of your income. At least that's how it will feel.
But the state has actually decided that I exist, and they have finally authorized payment of my unemployment benefits. Of course, this being the state, I can't actually access those benefits because they're under the control of Chase Manhattan Bank. I should get a ATM card within a week or so, and I should be able to use that to access my funds. The money won't be much, but at least the drain on my bank accounts will slow a bit, which should stretch out the time that I can live without a legit job.
Then there's COBRA. The COBRA Administrator has determined that I exist, and that I have paid my $752 premium. Of course, today, I got another invoice, requesting the $752 which they acknowledge online that I've paid, and requesting $752 for my May premium. Now I don't have to pay that until the end of May, and I might wait to do that because I have also elected to take advantage of the new COBRA benefits bill signed by President Obama next month in which the government will pay 65% of my COBRA premium costs for nine months. So as I see it, I'm now a month or two ahead on what I actually need to pay. Of course, I'm assuming that it's going to take the COBRA folks a long time to acknowledge that I actually made the payment.
Now since I made my COBRA payment, I technically have the same medical insurance that I had while I was working. But as my COBRA Administrator stresses on all of their paperwork and on the website, it generally takes 30 days after receiving my first premium payment for them to contact my medical insurance provider, which means, to them, I'm not one of their insured at the moment.
God this sucks. I hope none of you get stuck in my situation. I really, really do.
And there's no luck on the job search. I won't have what I'm doing for long. And I've got no clue what comes next. I haven't heard anything from my recruiters in about a month. I suppose I'll start trying again next week. And other friends are still trying to find me something. Monster.com hasn't sent me any stupid recommendations lately, but I suppose that come June, I'll start trying for anything. I don't know.
On the bright side...I was bitching about how my family was treating me as if I know longer existed, but I actually heard from all of my immediate family this week. So I guess I'm no longer an exile, though I am clearly, once again, the failure of the family -- which is a role I seem to have filled for pretty much 13 of the past 20 years.
So that's my update for now. I hope you don't mind reading these. I hope that I capture some of the absurdity that is my life. I hope that none of you are going through what I'm going through. And otherwise, just thanks for reading and putting up with me.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Too Hot For The Houston Press
Some of you might be wondering why I didn't have a post over at the mothership today. Now I did write a post for the mothership, but they decided not to run it. Apparently, it was too self-promotional, which leaves me wondering if they've ever read any of the crap that Miss Pop Rocks posts over there.But anyway, here is what I wrote. You be the judge.
Being unemployed, I’ve found myself listening to way too much sports talk radio. And do you know what? Most of it sucks. For every Charlie Pallilo you have a Brad Davies. For every David Dalati you have just about everybody over at 610. It sucks.
Now unemployment has really screwed around with my schedule. I find myself listening to most of sports radio in the late night hours, from midnight until early morning. And if you want some bad sports radio, then that’s the time to listen. I don’t want bad sports bad radio, but by then I’ve seen all of the game wrap-ups on the MLB Network so I just want to listen to the radio. And it’s either the political nut-jobs, the UFO guy on 740, or the same bad music stations I’ve made an effort to avoid during the day. So that leaves sports.
Only I don’t really get sports. Or breaking sports. Now 610 is affiliated with Sporting News Radio, and for some reason, the nighttime sports show over there is hosted by some clown named David Stein who pushes some kind of programming called the Celebration of Life. I’ve yet to figure out how sports really plays into things, because he’s more concerned with people doing good deeds than he is about sports. I’ve tried 1560, but while I hear a signal late at night, it’s hard for me to pick up, and they say they don’t program the late night hours. ESPN’s national lineup is on 97.5, but I’m really tired of ESPN.
That leaves 790, and they run the awful dreck that is Fox Sports Radio. But here’s the thing, you don’t get live programming. Fox Sports has basically given up, and in the late night hours, they just run a repeat of the daytime programming from throughout the week. And that programming’s not any good anyway.
I have a solution to these programming problems because the people who work the late night hours, or have insomnia, or are like me and have no life, shouldn’t be punished with subpar programming. So why not go local? Why not stick some person in a booth with an engineer and have them talk about what happened in Houston, in Texas, and in national sports that night just past?
And I know just the person for that job. As I’ve established, I’m unemployed at the moment. So I’ll be glad to take the job.
I’m perhaps more qualified for this job than most of the sports voices in this city. For one thing, I’m actually from Houston. I was born here, and except for a one year stint I spent studying in Europe and California, I’ve lived here all of my life. Which is more than you can say about most anybody on 790 or 610. I’ve personally seen more baseball than just about anybody – I worked the Astrodome/Minute Maid Park video crews from 1988 through 2001. I worked Oilers and Texans games. I’ve worked Cougar games, and I’ve actually attended games on campus at UH.
I guess what I’m saying is that I know Houston sports. I just know sports. And I definitely have opinions. I’m not going to be doing any damn celebrations of life. I won’t devote my night to the New York Yankees or the Los Angeles Lakers or the New England Patriots.
So go ahead. Someone make me an offer. You won’t regret it. And those people listening to the radio at night will definitely thank you.
There you go. I hope I didn't offend anybody.
The Houston Astros Are Wimpy Crybabies
I missed the start of last night's Astros game, so though I was wondering why the roof at Minute Maid Park was closed on what was such a spectacular day, I didn't get an answer last night. I did today. Apparently, it was too windy last night.
Windy as opposed to what?
It was a gorgeous day yesterday with great temps and a nice breeze. This just continues with my general theory that the people who attend games at MMP -- or whether the ownership -- are just a bunch of pussies who need want just the perfect temperature. Of course, as I've been informed, if you sit up top when the roof is closed you're going to suffocate because it's so hot. But those people really don't count, right Drayton?
Damn, the weather last night was perfect for baseball under the open skies. That's why we paid all of those extras of millions of dollars to make that damn roof retractable. For nights like last night. Who cares about the wind? Really, if you think it was windy last night, try having gone to a game at the old Candlestick Park. And everybody else plays outside, and most teams and fans would long to play outdoor games under weather like that last night.
Too windy. So the roof is closed. I think I've heard it all. No wonder this team sucks.
Windy as opposed to what?
It was a gorgeous day yesterday with great temps and a nice breeze. This just continues with my general theory that the people who attend games at MMP -- or whether the ownership -- are just a bunch of pussies who need want just the perfect temperature. Of course, as I've been informed, if you sit up top when the roof is closed you're going to suffocate because it's so hot. But those people really don't count, right Drayton?
Damn, the weather last night was perfect for baseball under the open skies. That's why we paid all of those extras of millions of dollars to make that damn roof retractable. For nights like last night. Who cares about the wind? Really, if you think it was windy last night, try having gone to a game at the old Candlestick Park. And everybody else plays outside, and most teams and fans would long to play outdoor games under weather like that last night.
Too windy. So the roof is closed. I think I've heard it all. No wonder this team sucks.
It's A Kind of Karma
Okay, not to go all pro-bank robber here, but...
Because of a rash of bank robberies in the Houston-area, banks are trying to stop people from wearing hats and sunglasses inside their lobbies. Now I like to wear baseball caps -- I liked it before I went mostly bald, so it's not like I'm doing it to cover up a bald spot. And I can understand the banks wanting to stop robberies, but...
I can't help but think that the banks are asking for it. Seriously, is there anything they don't charge a fee for? They don't mind robbing us of our cash, so maybe it's a kind of karmic justice that people rob them. There's a fee for using the wrong ATM. There's a fee if you don't have enough money in your account. There's a fee for using a pen. There's a fee for yawning. They charge you for putting your money in, and they charge you for taking it out. So if they're going to rob of us our money, they shouldn't get too pissed when they're robbed.
And don't get me started on TARP.
So yeah, robbing banks is bad. But banks robbing customers is also wrong. And I wish the police would try putting a stop to that.
Because of a rash of bank robberies in the Houston-area, banks are trying to stop people from wearing hats and sunglasses inside their lobbies. Now I like to wear baseball caps -- I liked it before I went mostly bald, so it's not like I'm doing it to cover up a bald spot. And I can understand the banks wanting to stop robberies, but...
I can't help but think that the banks are asking for it. Seriously, is there anything they don't charge a fee for? They don't mind robbing us of our cash, so maybe it's a kind of karmic justice that people rob them. There's a fee for using the wrong ATM. There's a fee if you don't have enough money in your account. There's a fee for using a pen. There's a fee for yawning. They charge you for putting your money in, and they charge you for taking it out. So if they're going to rob of us our money, they shouldn't get too pissed when they're robbed.
And don't get me started on TARP.
So yeah, robbing banks is bad. But banks robbing customers is also wrong. And I wish the police would try putting a stop to that.
Why I Like 30 Rock, And It's Just Not Tina Fey, Though That Helps
One of the reasons that 30 Rock is one of my favorite television programs is the little throwaway jokes that litter the show. If you're not paying attention, you won't catch the joke. Even if you're paying attention, you might not catch the real joke.Such happened on Thursday. And I had to pause my DVR because I was laughing so hard at a little throwaway line that I didn't want to miss anything else. I'm just not sure that everybody else really got it. Oh, I'm sure they thought it was funny.
But they might not know WHY IT WAS REALLY FUNNY.
There's been a prank played. And one of the characters runs into a wall. He falls to the ground. A flat screen monitor falls on his head. That's funny. But there's a scene after that. And one of the producers is talking and he gets on the guy for nearly destroying the flat screen monitor.
And that was funny too me. Damn funny.
Because, you see. That's how television people think. Especially the money people. People are cheap and can be replaced. But the equipment is valuable, and anybody who damages equipment is subject to being fired. If you watch a sporting event, and if you pay attention to the sideline camera guys, notice that the camera guy always puts himself in front of the camera. Or there's a cable puller around who's job is to make sure that the linebacker kills the camera guy but keeps the camera safe. (I know, because I was often told that when I was a cable puller.)
So yeah, the scene was funny because of deadpan way in which it was played. But it WAS FUNNY because that's actually real life. And that's why I like 30 Rock. Well, that and Tina Fey is just one gorgeous woman.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Why Is This Man On My TV?
You guys read my posts, so you know that I'm not much for the Bible-thumping morality crowd. But that said, I think I'm in agreement with them on something -- well, except the Bible-thumpers have been rather quiet in regards to this pervert, so I guess it's all me.So...
Why in the Hell is that as I was watching the Houston Astros tonight, Fox Sports Houston decided to cutaway to an interview with a fan in the stands. That fan in the stand being Fox News analyst Dick Morris. Sure, I see the synergy -- Fox News, Fox Sports, same owner. But I can't understand why Morris has a spot on television in the first place, so it's bad enough this prick is on my screen during a baseball game.
For those of you who don't know Dick Morris, or remember his big scandal, then here's a primer. Morris was as an advisor to President Bill Clinton in the 90s. And the married Morris was caught cavorting with a prostitute -- he was really into toe-sucking. But worse, it came out that, in an effort to impress her, he was telling her state secrets -- it might be just me, but I bet she would have been more impressed by lots and lots of cash. I've got nothing against prostitution -- I think it should be legal and taxed all over the states like it is in Nevada and in some of our more enlightened countries about the globe -- but I do have something against somebody not only breaking the law, but spilling state secrets.
Yet this guy has become a mega-star on Fox News who's known for his conservative polling and in his inability to make any accurate predictions (how did that whole Israel will bomb Iran if it becomes evident that Obama will win the election thing turn out, Dick). And Fox News is the big conservative network that the Bible-thumpers watch. So you would think they would be outraged by this guy being on their network. But they don't seem to care. Just like the Bible-thumpers don't care about Newt Gingrich, John McCain, David Vitter, etc., etc., etc.
With that out of the way, can somebody please explain to me why this asshole was on my Astros broadcast? Seeing as how Roger Clemens was a guest last night, does this mean that Fox Sports Houston is becoming the go-to network for sexual perverts? Should I expect an interview with Gary Glitter tomorrow during the Astros/Brewers game tomorrow? How about Rudy Giuliani? Or Larry Craig? Maybe a couple of Catholic priests or Mark Foley?
Okay, maybe I'm getting a bit off of the mark. But seriously, the fan interviews are stupid anyway, and I'd really like to not see Republican assholes on my TV screen during an Astros game. Especially when they come off as ignorant Yankees who know nothing about the Astros and claim to be pulling for the Dodgers.
A Blood Sucking Bastard, I Am
I've been away most of the day, and it was kind of unexpected, so I didn't have anything programmed to run. I hope you'll forgive me.
In short, my best friend called me this morning with an offer for some work -- very short term, about week -- but I jumped on it. I figured it was going to be some computer data entry stuff, since I had done this for him back during the time of my previous unemployment in the late-90s when the economy was good. But he's actually got some legit legal work -- more legit than anything I've actually done in years -- so I'm actually looking forward to it. We spent most of the day discussing details and I'll get into in-depth starting in the morning.
Which is a good thing because, despite my filing for unemployment benefits on March 22nd. And despite my first requesting a payment of my benefits on April 5 -- I was told to make this request because I had been approved -- the bastards have yet to pay me anything. (That's kind of funny because their website says they're paying me to look for work, but I got nada while taking six weeks to find a one-week temp job.)
Once again, while I've had no income except for that of the mothership these past six weeks, I'm in better shape than a lot of other recently unemployed people. I hope they're not going through the same thing that I am with getting their benefits. Because while the state doesn't really give a person enough to live on, it's still something, and every little bit counts. Of course, maybe if that bastard governor Rick Perry would have ever actually worked at a real job for a single day in his life this might not be a problem.
But in Texas, people like me are evil crybabies trying to take something that doesn't belong to them. If we're that hard up, we should just go get a damn job like real people. And I'm going to stop because I'm starting to get pissed off.
Anyway, for the next week or so I'm going to have some legit work. So if anybody wants to give me something for May, I'm available. God knows my fucking recruiters sure aren't finding me anything.
In short, my best friend called me this morning with an offer for some work -- very short term, about week -- but I jumped on it. I figured it was going to be some computer data entry stuff, since I had done this for him back during the time of my previous unemployment in the late-90s when the economy was good. But he's actually got some legit legal work -- more legit than anything I've actually done in years -- so I'm actually looking forward to it. We spent most of the day discussing details and I'll get into in-depth starting in the morning.
Which is a good thing because, despite my filing for unemployment benefits on March 22nd. And despite my first requesting a payment of my benefits on April 5 -- I was told to make this request because I had been approved -- the bastards have yet to pay me anything. (That's kind of funny because their website says they're paying me to look for work, but I got nada while taking six weeks to find a one-week temp job.)
Once again, while I've had no income except for that of the mothership these past six weeks, I'm in better shape than a lot of other recently unemployed people. I hope they're not going through the same thing that I am with getting their benefits. Because while the state doesn't really give a person enough to live on, it's still something, and every little bit counts. Of course, maybe if that bastard governor Rick Perry would have ever actually worked at a real job for a single day in his life this might not be a problem.
But in Texas, people like me are evil crybabies trying to take something that doesn't belong to them. If we're that hard up, we should just go get a damn job like real people. And I'm going to stop because I'm starting to get pissed off.
Anyway, for the next week or so I'm going to have some legit work. So if anybody wants to give me something for May, I'm available. God knows my fucking recruiters sure aren't finding me anything.
Adventures in Unemployment-- Part Get Rich Quick
Okay, screw you suckers. I'm out of here. I got this e-mail late tonight, and I think I'm set for life. Read it, and weep.
"DIPLOMATIC DELIVERY OF YOUR CONSIGNMENT/FUNDS
CLASSIFIED INFORMATION/TREAT WITH UTMOST CONFIDENTIALITY
Attention,
On behalf of the Board and Management of Finance direct Commission,London UK, please be informed that your consignment/funds tagged diplomatic luggage 122 with Ref: No1226/X42/206 which was deposited in our vault for safe keeping by a Diplomatic Courier Company, is due forImmediate collection. This Consignment contains amount in tune of $2.5million USD. We require the information below in other for you to claim the consignment ocntaining the money
A scanned copy of your International passport and drivers license. your phone number.
List the nearest international airport to your address location.your age andoccupation, Meanwhile, we urge you to treat the above requirementwith utmost urgency and confidentiality to enable us dispense ourduties and obligation accordingly thereby allowing us to serve you in a timely fashion.
Upon satisfactory receipt of all the above mentioned, you will be further acquainted with the detailed delivery itinerary including information of the Diplomat who will accompany your consignment. We pledge our best service at all times.
Yours Sincerely
Mr Daniel Tremblay
Foreign Operations Manager"
How can this not be real? Yeah, it sounds too good to be true, but Mr. Tremblay is a Foreign Operations Manager for a UK company. And if you can't trust someone like that, then there's no hope for our world, right? And he pledges me is best service at all times.
I promise that I won't forget about all of you, my dear readers, once I'm rich. But I probably won't blog as often because I'll be traveling around the globe.
"DIPLOMATIC DELIVERY OF YOUR CONSIGNMENT/FUNDS
CLASSIFIED INFORMATION/TREAT WITH UTMOST CONFIDENTIALITY
Attention,
On behalf of the Board and Management of Finance direct Commission,London UK, please be informed that your consignment/funds tagged diplomatic luggage 122 with Ref: No1226/X42/206 which was deposited in our vault for safe keeping by a Diplomatic Courier Company, is due forImmediate collection. This Consignment contains amount in tune of $2.5million USD. We require the information below in other for you to claim the consignment ocntaining the money
A scanned copy of your International passport and drivers license. your phone number.
List the nearest international airport to your address location.your age andoccupation, Meanwhile, we urge you to treat the above requirementwith utmost urgency and confidentiality to enable us dispense ourduties and obligation accordingly thereby allowing us to serve you in a timely fashion.
Upon satisfactory receipt of all the above mentioned, you will be further acquainted with the detailed delivery itinerary including information of the Diplomat who will accompany your consignment. We pledge our best service at all times.
Yours Sincerely
Mr Daniel Tremblay
Foreign Operations Manager"
How can this not be real? Yeah, it sounds too good to be true, but Mr. Tremblay is a Foreign Operations Manager for a UK company. And if you can't trust someone like that, then there's no hope for our world, right? And he pledges me is best service at all times.
I promise that I won't forget about all of you, my dear readers, once I'm rich. But I probably won't blog as often because I'll be traveling around the globe.
Addicted to Mitch Love
It occurred me to last night, during one of Mitch Love's fights, that the Aeros always use "Bad to the Bone" when he's fighting. And I always think of The Pretenders version of "Thin Line Between Love and Hate." But I think that Aeros fans are addicted to Mitch Love, so the perfect song, really, for Mitch Love, is rather obvious.
Thus, ladies and gentlemen, Robert Palmer performing "Addicted to Love."
Thus, ladies and gentlemen, Robert Palmer performing "Addicted to Love."
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Sex Sells -- Perking Up The Aeros Edition
Okay, Monday night's Aeros loss was my fault. On Saturday, I posted a SI bikini photo to perk them up. I didn't do that on Monday. So maybe this photo of Daniela Pestova will help things out tonight.
Failing Upwards
I would I get rewarded for this type of success. But if Mark Shapiro can shepherd Six Flags through a restructuring of its massive debt outside of court, or if it should go through a Chapter 11 Bankruptcy, then Shapiro will be awarded with a $3 million success bonus.
Now I really don't know how this qualifies as success, but to the Six Flags folks, it does. Then again, the company hasn't seen a profit in over a decade, so maybe they're not quite sure of what they're doing in the first place. The stock has plunged 88% in the last year, and the New York Stock Exchange has said that its stock will be suspended from trading.
Yeah, I can see where that's worthy of a $3 million success bonus.
Now Mark Shapiro is pretty much hated by lots of sports fans, because he's the guy who was in charge of ESPN when ESPN went from sports programming to entertainment programming. You know, like those ESPN movies, or the TV series or Around The Horn. And while Shapiro is the CEO, the company is owned by Daniel Snyder, the guy best known as the douche who owns the Washington Redskins.
It would be nice to say that this couldn't happen to a better bunch of guys, but they appear to stand poised to make a fortune off of this failure. And I'm really get sick and tired of people making fortunes off of failure. Especially since I didn't fail and I'm currently going broke.
I wish I could get a chance to fail like this. And I'll do it for just a million bucks. That sounds like a bargain to me.
Now I really don't know how this qualifies as success, but to the Six Flags folks, it does. Then again, the company hasn't seen a profit in over a decade, so maybe they're not quite sure of what they're doing in the first place. The stock has plunged 88% in the last year, and the New York Stock Exchange has said that its stock will be suspended from trading.
Yeah, I can see where that's worthy of a $3 million success bonus.
Now Mark Shapiro is pretty much hated by lots of sports fans, because he's the guy who was in charge of ESPN when ESPN went from sports programming to entertainment programming. You know, like those ESPN movies, or the TV series or Around The Horn. And while Shapiro is the CEO, the company is owned by Daniel Snyder, the guy best known as the douche who owns the Washington Redskins.
It would be nice to say that this couldn't happen to a better bunch of guys, but they appear to stand poised to make a fortune off of this failure. And I'm really get sick and tired of people making fortunes off of failure. Especially since I didn't fail and I'm currently going broke.
I wish I could get a chance to fail like this. And I'll do it for just a million bucks. That sounds like a bargain to me.
Free Tickets Available For Tonight's Aeros Game
I've been notified that there are free tickets available for tonight's Aeros playoff game against the Peoria Rivermen. The tickets are first come, first serve. Contact aerosboosterclub@gmail.com for more information.
J.R. Richard -- The Forgotten Great
Here's my posting over at the mothership on J.R. Richard. Please go give it a read. I think it's good. I've got some good stuff in it, I think.
The Rocket Was A Housing God
I think the real for the housing crisis has been discovered. Roger Clemens is no longer pitching.
According to the New York Daily News via SI.com and Deadspin comes news of the Rocket's having kept 12 apartments in 12 other American League cities while he was with New York Yankees. And these apartments were, of course, used by the Rocket to meet with his various girlfriends.
Of course, with all of his current legal bills, it's a bit of a wonder that Rocket's still living in a house and not in a flop house. But with the way things are going, I'm going to end up in the poor house before Rocket.
According to the New York Daily News via SI.com and Deadspin comes news of the Rocket's having kept 12 apartments in 12 other American League cities while he was with New York Yankees. And these apartments were, of course, used by the Rocket to meet with his various girlfriends.
Of course, with all of his current legal bills, it's a bit of a wonder that Rocket's still living in a house and not in a flop house. But with the way things are going, I'm going to end up in the poor house before Rocket.
Adventures in Unemployment -- The Latest From Monster.com
And today in unemployment, I bring you the latest recommended jobs from Monster.com. As you might remember, the other night, they suggested that I become a cook at The Cheesecake Factory in San Antonio despite my complete lack of cooking history.But that's nowhere near as bad one of the jobs they recommended for me today....
Full-Time Nurse Manager (RN) specializing in Dermatology and responsible for maintaining The Surgery Center. No, seriously. I'm telling you the truth. Despite having no medical experience whatsoever -- besides doing what my doctor tells me -- and having an education and background and training and experience in law, writing, television, and sports, Monster.com thinks I should become a Full-Time Nurse Manager.
And to all of you real nurses out there who might be reading this. I'm truly sorry. There's no way in hell that I could do your job, and I, too, would feel insulted if a bozo like me were being recommended for such jobs.
Game #14: Astros vs. Dodgers
I'm not the biggest fan of Houston Astros closer Jose Valverde. I think he's a time bomb waiting to happen. But with the Astros clinging to a 8-5 lead in the ninth inning, and after Valverde proceeded to load the bases while hopping on one leg, Valverde managed to get the team out of the inning and clinch the victory.
I took a ton of notes on this game as I watching, but suffice to say that the starting pitching sucked and that the Astros were lucky to not only be in ballgame after Russ Ortiz came out of the game after five innings, they were lucky to be in the lead because the Dodgers starting pitching was just as bad.
With the win, the Astros move to 5-9 on the season, and they're no longer in last place.
I took a ton of notes on this game as I watching, but suffice to say that the starting pitching sucked and that the Astros were lucky to not only be in ballgame after Russ Ortiz came out of the game after five innings, they were lucky to be in the lead because the Dodgers starting pitching was just as bad.
With the win, the Astros move to 5-9 on the season, and they're no longer in last place.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
The Greatest Most Forgotten Ever
I'm going to write about this for the mothership tomorrow, but I suggest you go to the source and read this now.For those of you too young to remember, or who didn't start following the Astros until Minute Maid Park came into existence, the greatest pitcher in Astros history is James Rodney Richard. Richard suffered a stroke in 1980 and never returned to the major league mound.
Despite the fact that Richard was an Astro at the time of the stroke. Despite the fact that he was one of the most feared pitchers in all of major league baseball at that time. Despite all of that, the team thought he was faking an injury -- particularly a certain Astros general manager who is now team president. And while trying to prove that he wasn't faking an injury, he was on the field throwing the baseball to a teammate. And he collapsed.
Richard nearly died that day in 1980. He's had a few problems since that time. And he's had absolutely no assistance from the team. The team has retired the jerseys of mediocre players like Jose Cruz and Mike Scott, but they've done nothing to celebrate J.R. Richard.
And it's wrong.
The Bugs and Cranks people have a great interview with Richard. Go read it. Like I said, I'll be writing some more on this for the mothership tomorrow.
What A Bunch Of Boobs
As you can probably tell, I'm getting fed up with this whole unemployment process. So who better than to represent the stooges who have set up these processes than The Three Stooges.
More Adventures in Unemployment -- The COBRA Edition
This COBRA thing is all one gigantic scam as far as I'm concerned. And it's my general belief that assholes who claim our medical system is fine and that the insurance system is fine have never lost their jobs then had to deal with the headache behind COBRA.
My insurance ended as of March 31. But I didn't get the paperwork from my COBRA administrator until March 30. Which was okay because I have one month from the discontinuation of the insurance by former employer to elect COBRA. However, until you pay the COBRA premium, the COBRA administrator won't inform the insurance carrier that coverage has been continued. So if you go to the doctor or pick up any medications, you're responsible for all of the costs even though you have elected to continue your coverage.
Supposedly, once you pay the premium, the administrator contacts the insurance company and sends you your new info and insurance cards, and that can take another couple of weeks so that you're probably looking at a couple of months of no medical insurance coverage even though you actually have insurance coverage. But the insurance company won't pay anything unless the doctor's office has all of the new correct information and you don't get that new correct information until the COBRA administrator contacts them, and the administrator won't contact then until they get the premium payment, and so on.
As I said, I elected to continue my coverage on March 30. I got the premium information on Saturday, April 18. And I mailed the premium payment yesterday, April 20. I have no idea how long it's going to take for them to do their damage, but I'm somehow expecting that I'm going to have to keep paying all of the costs until at least Memorial Day, maybe longer.
(Sure, I'm keeping my receipts because the COBRA administrator tells me to keep the receipts and that, once the insurance info is settled, to submit them to the insurance company that will reimburse me. But we've all dealt with insurance companies, right? We know what it's like getting money out of an insurance company, even if it's money they owe you. So I'm expecting to get that money back sometime around the onset of the 22nd century.)
Now the premium payment I mailed in yesterday was $750. Luckily, I got a severance package, and I cashed out my 401(k), so I can afford to pay that for a little bit. But I'm not sure how most people do it. But luckily, President Obama got a bill passed that will have the federal government pay 65% of those premium costs for up to nine months. But my COBRA administrator sent me a letter saying that they're leaving it up to me as to whether I would want to elect that option -- seriously, is there anybody out there besides some deranged tea-bagger who's going to turn down that option. And in the letter I got, I was told that I had two options for making this election.
I could choose the preferred option by going online, clicking on the appropriate form, and "complete the online certification and enrollment." Or I could e-mail or phone the administrator and request that they send me the appropriate forms, which I would then fill out and mail back. So I chose the preferred option and went online. And I clicked on the appropriate form, and I got a PDF for me to print out and mail into the administrator.
I ask of you: how does clicking on a form, then getting a PDF to print, fill out, and mail, equate to "complete online certification and enrollment." When I see "complete online certification and enrollment," I see that I'm supposed to go online, click on the appropriate buttons, and do everything by computer without having to print out any forms or put anything into the mailbox. So I think that maybe I missed a step somewhere, so I called the phone number that I was given. And I was told that this preferred online method was really my printing out the PDF, filling out the forms, then mailing these forms back to the administrator.
Why even go to this online option? Why didn't they just put the damn forms in with the letter that they mailed to me, then ask me to fill out these forms and mail them in? I know. I'm still thinking like a person who has a job, because as I've been learning, it's only people with jobs who are worthy of as being treated as human beings. I'm just lower than dirt and I should do what I'm told without asking questions.
I'm getting to the point where I want to shout that out that I'm not an animal, I'm a human being. Yet I really doubt anybody would care. But it's bad enough that I'm having to pay a $750 premium that's going to get reduced by a Congressional act that the COBRA administrator -- not wanting to give up their cash cow -- is actually forcing me to elect the coverage and send the paperwork for something that should be automatic. And even with all of that, while I technically have insurance, I don't have insurance and won't for several more weeks.
Now I'm getting a headache, so I'm going to stop now because after paying my premium yesterday, I can't afford to make a trip to the doctor.
My insurance ended as of March 31. But I didn't get the paperwork from my COBRA administrator until March 30. Which was okay because I have one month from the discontinuation of the insurance by former employer to elect COBRA. However, until you pay the COBRA premium, the COBRA administrator won't inform the insurance carrier that coverage has been continued. So if you go to the doctor or pick up any medications, you're responsible for all of the costs even though you have elected to continue your coverage.
Supposedly, once you pay the premium, the administrator contacts the insurance company and sends you your new info and insurance cards, and that can take another couple of weeks so that you're probably looking at a couple of months of no medical insurance coverage even though you actually have insurance coverage. But the insurance company won't pay anything unless the doctor's office has all of the new correct information and you don't get that new correct information until the COBRA administrator contacts them, and the administrator won't contact then until they get the premium payment, and so on.
As I said, I elected to continue my coverage on March 30. I got the premium information on Saturday, April 18. And I mailed the premium payment yesterday, April 20. I have no idea how long it's going to take for them to do their damage, but I'm somehow expecting that I'm going to have to keep paying all of the costs until at least Memorial Day, maybe longer.
(Sure, I'm keeping my receipts because the COBRA administrator tells me to keep the receipts and that, once the insurance info is settled, to submit them to the insurance company that will reimburse me. But we've all dealt with insurance companies, right? We know what it's like getting money out of an insurance company, even if it's money they owe you. So I'm expecting to get that money back sometime around the onset of the 22nd century.)
Now the premium payment I mailed in yesterday was $750. Luckily, I got a severance package, and I cashed out my 401(k), so I can afford to pay that for a little bit. But I'm not sure how most people do it. But luckily, President Obama got a bill passed that will have the federal government pay 65% of those premium costs for up to nine months. But my COBRA administrator sent me a letter saying that they're leaving it up to me as to whether I would want to elect that option -- seriously, is there anybody out there besides some deranged tea-bagger who's going to turn down that option. And in the letter I got, I was told that I had two options for making this election.
I could choose the preferred option by going online, clicking on the appropriate form, and "complete the online certification and enrollment." Or I could e-mail or phone the administrator and request that they send me the appropriate forms, which I would then fill out and mail back. So I chose the preferred option and went online. And I clicked on the appropriate form, and I got a PDF for me to print out and mail into the administrator.
I ask of you: how does clicking on a form, then getting a PDF to print, fill out, and mail, equate to "complete online certification and enrollment." When I see "complete online certification and enrollment," I see that I'm supposed to go online, click on the appropriate buttons, and do everything by computer without having to print out any forms or put anything into the mailbox. So I think that maybe I missed a step somewhere, so I called the phone number that I was given. And I was told that this preferred online method was really my printing out the PDF, filling out the forms, then mailing these forms back to the administrator.
Why even go to this online option? Why didn't they just put the damn forms in with the letter that they mailed to me, then ask me to fill out these forms and mail them in? I know. I'm still thinking like a person who has a job, because as I've been learning, it's only people with jobs who are worthy of as being treated as human beings. I'm just lower than dirt and I should do what I'm told without asking questions.
I'm getting to the point where I want to shout that out that I'm not an animal, I'm a human being. Yet I really doubt anybody would care. But it's bad enough that I'm having to pay a $750 premium that's going to get reduced by a Congressional act that the COBRA administrator -- not wanting to give up their cash cow -- is actually forcing me to elect the coverage and send the paperwork for something that should be automatic. And even with all of that, while I technically have insurance, I don't have insurance and won't for several more weeks.
Now I'm getting a headache, so I'm going to stop now because after paying my premium yesterday, I can't afford to make a trip to the doctor.
Game #13: Astros vs. Reds
I didn't see tonight's game because I was over at Toyota Center watching the Aeros lose to Peoria. But I see that, once again, the Astros sucked and lost the game 4-3 to the Reds. I see that once again there was a good performance by the starting rotation, but that once again the bullpen failed.
I also saw, checking the box score, that the Astros once again failed to hit with runners in scoring position as they went on to lose the four game series to the Reds 3-1. And at 4-9, the Astros are back by their lonesomes in last place in the NL Central.
The Dodgers are now coming to Houston for three games. Russ Ortiz (0-0, 6.23) matches up against L.A.'s Clayton Kershaw (0-0, 1.50) on Tuesday night. Roy Oswalt (0-2, 2.46) pitches against Randy Wolf (1-1, 3.93) on Wednesday night. The series will end on Thursday night with Wandy Rodriguez (1-1, 1.89) against Chad Billingsley (3-0, 2.84).
I also saw, checking the box score, that the Astros once again failed to hit with runners in scoring position as they went on to lose the four game series to the Reds 3-1. And at 4-9, the Astros are back by their lonesomes in last place in the NL Central.
The Dodgers are now coming to Houston for three games. Russ Ortiz (0-0, 6.23) matches up against L.A.'s Clayton Kershaw (0-0, 1.50) on Tuesday night. Roy Oswalt (0-2, 2.46) pitches against Randy Wolf (1-1, 3.93) on Wednesday night. The series will end on Thursday night with Wandy Rodriguez (1-1, 1.89) against Chad Billingsley (3-0, 2.84).
Monday, April 20, 2009
Quit Jammin' The Jukebox
Okay, I think this song from Tom Petty & The Heartbreaker just about nails the mood I've been in lately. So here's an old classic, "Jammin' Me."
Explaining The One-Stop Nonstop
Some of you might remember that I wrote the other day over my confusion about what I called the one-stop nonstop from Houston to Frankfurt, Germany. My confusion arose over this being called a nonstop flight when, instead, the flight stopped in Newark, the passengers had to deplane, then they had to board another plane.Well, if any of you out there were wondering about this, I got an answer from a friend who works for Continental. And while it's all a matter of semantics with which I still disagree, it does make some sense.
It's all, you see, a sales scam.
Continental doesn't have any nonstop flights from Houston to Frankfurt, Germany. Lufthansa does. But Lufthansa is not a member of SkyTeam, which Continental, for the moment, still is. So if one really wants the nonstop from Houston, then that person can't get any points toward his Continental frequent flyer status.
However, to counter this, Continental offers what they refer to as a fly-through. The flight shows as a nonstop. Sure, it stops, but the passengers go through customs in Houston. They just get off of the plane in Newark and go to the next plane which still has the same designated flight number. They don't have to go back through Customs. They don't have to go grab their luggage and recheck it. They just walk from plane to plane. And since they don't have to worry about arriving late and missing the connecting flight since, technically, their plane is the connecting flight because of flight numbers.
So there's the answer.
I don't care much for it myself. It still seems to me that this isn't a nonstop. I understand why they do it. But it still bugs me. Still, once Continental's decoupling from the SkyTeam alliance with Delta, Northwestern and KLM is complete, this won't be a problem because Continental will instead be in an alliance with United and Lufthansa, which means that you can take that nonstop from Houston to Frankfurt on Lufthansa and have your miles count toward your Continental frequent flyer status.
Thank You, Dario
I just want to thank Dario Franchetti for winning a car race in Long Beach yesterday. Because that gives me a semi-legit reason to post a photo of his wife, the lovely Ashley Judd.
Adventures in Unemployment -- Part The Continued
So I filed for unemployment. That's what lazy assholes like myself are supposed to do according various Republican politicians out there, so maybe I should finally accept that about myself.
So I started the process about a month ago. You go along, you click various buttons. You give your job history and your salary history and the reason you're now a lazy asshole living on the government dole. Then they send you a packet telling you all of the crap that you're supposed to do and how you're supposed to file a request for payment every two weeks. And they tell you when to call in file, or when to log onto the internet and file.
So I did that. Just as requested. And they ask if you've worked the past two weeks, and the number of hours worked you during that time and the amount of money you made during that time. Then they asked if you received any money from your previous job before leaving. Etc.
So I tell them that I worked five hours each for each of those two weeks and that I received $65 a week for each of those of two weeks. I also tell them that I received seven weeks of severance pay, and I assumed that that was in lieu of receiving any kind of notice of my being laid off and becoming a lazy asshole sucking the lifeblood out of all you right living people who work for a living so that I can sit on my ass all day doing absolutely nothing.
On the internet I get to this confirmation page that I'm supposed to print saying that my payment has been requested and that it is being evaluated. I check on and off over the next week or so, I'm told the request is being evaluated. Then I check back Friday and I'm told that I have never made a request for payment, and that I need to make a request. Just to make sure there's no mistake, I click on the request payment button, and I'm told that I've already made a request for this time period and to stop trying to scam the state -- okay, it doesn't say that last part. Anyway, I call one of the phone numbers, and there's no possible way to talk to a human being though I try for about an hour and hit every combination possible. So I send an email to a contact number and I just kind of forget about it.
Saturday morning I get a call. From a person who works for the state unemployment office. Frankly, I'm shocked to hear from an actual person and not from an e-mail. And I'm even more shocked to get a phone call on a Saturday morning. So we talk for a bit, and it comes out that they're having a problem with my severance package and how that should be counted toward my unemployment. Now I understand that, and that's not a problem.
Here's the thing. She told me that when I made the request for payment online, that I should have been given a phone number to call because the request should have been flagged as one having questions. And I apologize and said that I would have gladly called, but I wasn't told to. And she tells me it's not my fault. That's she got a copy of the request in the form that I received it, and that the mistake is theirs, not mine. But that now they've got to check with the bastards who laid me off to see how they classify the severance. That's understandable.
But that gets me to thinking. How many people is this happening too? How many people out there follow the rules and have a computer glitch they don't know of. So they don't follow through. So the state gets to thinking fraud or they're lying and denies everything about their claim.
I don't know. That all bugs me. I feel worthless enough filing for unemployment in the first place. But then I follow the rules exactly and things get screwed up. I know there are many people out there who think that people like me, along with most unemployed, are just worthless screw ups who deserve everything that happen to us. But we're people. And most of us didn't ask to have this happen to us. So instead of making us feel like even more worthless screw up jackasses than we already feel, how about trying to actually help us in some matter.
One final thing -- I didn't get the name of the woman who called me on Saturday. But I'm amazed that she actually returned a call on Saturday. Talked me through everything. Explained the mistake, and actually made me feel like a human being. And I needed that. Thank you.
So I started the process about a month ago. You go along, you click various buttons. You give your job history and your salary history and the reason you're now a lazy asshole living on the government dole. Then they send you a packet telling you all of the crap that you're supposed to do and how you're supposed to file a request for payment every two weeks. And they tell you when to call in file, or when to log onto the internet and file.
So I did that. Just as requested. And they ask if you've worked the past two weeks, and the number of hours worked you during that time and the amount of money you made during that time. Then they asked if you received any money from your previous job before leaving. Etc.
So I tell them that I worked five hours each for each of those two weeks and that I received $65 a week for each of those of two weeks. I also tell them that I received seven weeks of severance pay, and I assumed that that was in lieu of receiving any kind of notice of my being laid off and becoming a lazy asshole sucking the lifeblood out of all you right living people who work for a living so that I can sit on my ass all day doing absolutely nothing.
On the internet I get to this confirmation page that I'm supposed to print saying that my payment has been requested and that it is being evaluated. I check on and off over the next week or so, I'm told the request is being evaluated. Then I check back Friday and I'm told that I have never made a request for payment, and that I need to make a request. Just to make sure there's no mistake, I click on the request payment button, and I'm told that I've already made a request for this time period and to stop trying to scam the state -- okay, it doesn't say that last part. Anyway, I call one of the phone numbers, and there's no possible way to talk to a human being though I try for about an hour and hit every combination possible. So I send an email to a contact number and I just kind of forget about it.
Saturday morning I get a call. From a person who works for the state unemployment office. Frankly, I'm shocked to hear from an actual person and not from an e-mail. And I'm even more shocked to get a phone call on a Saturday morning. So we talk for a bit, and it comes out that they're having a problem with my severance package and how that should be counted toward my unemployment. Now I understand that, and that's not a problem.
Here's the thing. She told me that when I made the request for payment online, that I should have been given a phone number to call because the request should have been flagged as one having questions. And I apologize and said that I would have gladly called, but I wasn't told to. And she tells me it's not my fault. That's she got a copy of the request in the form that I received it, and that the mistake is theirs, not mine. But that now they've got to check with the bastards who laid me off to see how they classify the severance. That's understandable.
But that gets me to thinking. How many people is this happening too? How many people out there follow the rules and have a computer glitch they don't know of. So they don't follow through. So the state gets to thinking fraud or they're lying and denies everything about their claim.
I don't know. That all bugs me. I feel worthless enough filing for unemployment in the first place. But then I follow the rules exactly and things get screwed up. I know there are many people out there who think that people like me, along with most unemployed, are just worthless screw ups who deserve everything that happen to us. But we're people. And most of us didn't ask to have this happen to us. So instead of making us feel like even more worthless screw up jackasses than we already feel, how about trying to actually help us in some matter.
One final thing -- I didn't get the name of the woman who called me on Saturday. But I'm amazed that she actually returned a call on Saturday. Talked me through everything. Explained the mistake, and actually made me feel like a human being. And I needed that. Thank you.
Just Maybe The Wrong Person Was Fined And Benched
Okay, no matter how much I bitch about how bad the Astros are, at least they never fine and bench a better a player for being five minutes late to the ballpark because he was signing autographs for Little Leaguers. Yet that's what the Washington Nationals did to Elijah Dukes on Saturday.
And no matter how much I bitch about the Astros, at least they spell the team's name right on the front of their jerseys. Maybe the Nationals should have fined and benched the people responsible for these jerseys instead of Dukes.
And no matter how much I bitch about the Astros, at least they spell the team's name right on the front of their jerseys. Maybe the Nationals should have fined and benched the people responsible for these jerseys instead of Dukes.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Would You Buy A Car From This Man?
Last night I documented the first of what appear to be many adventures with my job search on Monster.com. And I do that because I know you all care -- well, except for my family and I'm going into about week five since last hearing from my brother or his family (I'll probably next hear from them when they want free tickets to somewhere). So I want you to relax and to not worry because I got a job offer this morning.Yep, somebody sent me a job offer off of what I'm assuming to be the resume I posted at Monster.com, and it's a job offer to sell new cars. No, I ain't kidding. I guess someone saw my resume, saw that I was an attorney, and figured that since car salesman have to lie for their jobs, and that us attorneys are supposed to be professional liars, that maybe I would be a good match.
Seriously, GM and Chrysler might be going out of business any day now. Car dealerships are shutting down because no one wants to buy a car, and I'm being offered a chance to sell cars. Just fucking shoot me now, okay. I think that match I got from Monster.com to be a cook at The Cheesecake Factory in San Antonio makes more sense for me.
I know. I know. It's going to get better. And I try to think that. I really do. But sometimes that option just doesn't make sense to me. And today is one of those days when that option just doesn't make sense.
Game #12: Astros vs. Reds -- Reds Win 4-2
The much vaunted high-octane Houston Astros offense once again failed to appear today, and as a result, once again, the Houston Astros lost a baseball game. Today, the final was 4-2, Cincinnati, with the Astros wasting yet another stellar effort for the starting staff.
Felipe Paulino was today's sacrificial victim. Making his first MLB start of the year in place of the injured Brian Moehler, Paulino threw 97 pitches over 6 innings, giving up zero runs, three hits, and two walks while striking out six batters. His counterpart was Edinson Volquez who also pitched six innings, giving up four hits, a run, and five walks while striking out seven. But it was Volquez who got the win as the Reds exploded for three runs in the seventh inning off of the Astros relief corps, primarily reliever Geoff Geary who got the loss.
The Reds had a little assistance from second base umpire Joe West who was badly out of position with the bases loaded and one out in the fifth inning. Geoff Blum grounded to second. Pence was advancing to second. Cincinatti's Brandon Philips attemtped to tag Pence, missed the tag, then threw to first to get Geoff Blum for the second out. Only West called Pence out, claiming that Pence ran out of the baseline. Which he didn't.
But while the Astros are going to want to bitch about that costing them some runs, they should really look at themselves. They stranded 13 guys on the bases, and went 0-for-10 with runners in scoring position. Carlos Lee and Lance Berkman were useless. And the bullpen didn't do much better than the offense.
Well, that's 12 games down, 150 to go. And after those 12 games, the Astros are 4-8 and are still tied for last place.
SOME MISCELLANEOUS GAME NOTES:
I've started spending time over at the live blog at Chron.com during the game. It's usually informative and funny, as most of the people there are fans who don't mind calling out the players. Of course, there are also those idiots hanging around who think that anybody saying anything negative about the team should be kicked off because they're not real fans -- real fans, in case you haven't figured it out, don't boo or criticize.
But there's this one guy over there who thinks that Carlos Lee is God. Seriously, Carlos Lee was robbed of the MVP last season. And should win a Gold Glove for his defense. He even went so far as to suggest that if Lance Berkman and Carlos were to change positions that Lee would be recognized as one of the game's great first baseman while Berkman would just be seen as a streaky hitter who can't play a position. He even went so far as to say that Lee had been the centerfielder for the Chicago White Sox for six years and had excelled at center.
If you want to support a player, that's fine. But if you're making a factual statement, then make sure to back it up because as I read that my mind just said that there was no way that fat asshole ever played in centerfield. And guess what? Lee has never played centerfield in the majors, and it was a pretty easy stat to find. Somebody went to the hassle of posting Lee's fielding stats on the liveblog, and the Lee fan was never heard from again.
********************
The Astros started three guys yesterday who were hitting .000 for the season. Jason Smith was starting at second base again because Kaz Matsui's back was still bothering him. Humberto Quintero started at catcher to give Pudge Rodriguez a day off. And Felipe Paulino was playing his first game in the majors all season. Smith and Quintero are still without a hit, but Paulino actually singled.
And the major damage to the Astros was done by a pitcher. Micah Owings to be exact. And he did his damage with the bat as he pinch hit in the seventh inning. And Owings just smacked a double to the left/center wall to score two runs and puts the Reds up 3-1.
*******************
The Reds and Astros finish up this series tomorrow night at 7:05 with Mike Hampton going for the Astros against Bronson Arroyo.
Felipe Paulino was today's sacrificial victim. Making his first MLB start of the year in place of the injured Brian Moehler, Paulino threw 97 pitches over 6 innings, giving up zero runs, three hits, and two walks while striking out six batters. His counterpart was Edinson Volquez who also pitched six innings, giving up four hits, a run, and five walks while striking out seven. But it was Volquez who got the win as the Reds exploded for three runs in the seventh inning off of the Astros relief corps, primarily reliever Geoff Geary who got the loss.
The Reds had a little assistance from second base umpire Joe West who was badly out of position with the bases loaded and one out in the fifth inning. Geoff Blum grounded to second. Pence was advancing to second. Cincinatti's Brandon Philips attemtped to tag Pence, missed the tag, then threw to first to get Geoff Blum for the second out. Only West called Pence out, claiming that Pence ran out of the baseline. Which he didn't.
But while the Astros are going to want to bitch about that costing them some runs, they should really look at themselves. They stranded 13 guys on the bases, and went 0-for-10 with runners in scoring position. Carlos Lee and Lance Berkman were useless. And the bullpen didn't do much better than the offense.
Well, that's 12 games down, 150 to go. And after those 12 games, the Astros are 4-8 and are still tied for last place.
SOME MISCELLANEOUS GAME NOTES:
I've started spending time over at the live blog at Chron.com during the game. It's usually informative and funny, as most of the people there are fans who don't mind calling out the players. Of course, there are also those idiots hanging around who think that anybody saying anything negative about the team should be kicked off because they're not real fans -- real fans, in case you haven't figured it out, don't boo or criticize.
But there's this one guy over there who thinks that Carlos Lee is God. Seriously, Carlos Lee was robbed of the MVP last season. And should win a Gold Glove for his defense. He even went so far as to suggest that if Lance Berkman and Carlos were to change positions that Lee would be recognized as one of the game's great first baseman while Berkman would just be seen as a streaky hitter who can't play a position. He even went so far as to say that Lee had been the centerfielder for the Chicago White Sox for six years and had excelled at center.
If you want to support a player, that's fine. But if you're making a factual statement, then make sure to back it up because as I read that my mind just said that there was no way that fat asshole ever played in centerfield. And guess what? Lee has never played centerfield in the majors, and it was a pretty easy stat to find. Somebody went to the hassle of posting Lee's fielding stats on the liveblog, and the Lee fan was never heard from again.
********************
The Astros started three guys yesterday who were hitting .000 for the season. Jason Smith was starting at second base again because Kaz Matsui's back was still bothering him. Humberto Quintero started at catcher to give Pudge Rodriguez a day off. And Felipe Paulino was playing his first game in the majors all season. Smith and Quintero are still without a hit, but Paulino actually singled.
And the major damage to the Astros was done by a pitcher. Micah Owings to be exact. And he did his damage with the bat as he pinch hit in the seventh inning. And Owings just smacked a double to the left/center wall to score two runs and puts the Reds up 3-1.
*******************
The Reds and Astros finish up this series tomorrow night at 7:05 with Mike Hampton going for the Astros against Bronson Arroyo.
Cecil Cooper's Contract Extension Makes No Sense
So let me see if I understand this. Cecil Cooper's team doesn't respect him. The veterans don't have any confidence in him. The bullpen doesn't trust him. He's not the most of competent of managers. Those are all things that Richard Justice writes. Then he states that Cecil Cooper deserved to have his contract extended.
I don't get it.
He writes that Cooper shouldn't be forced to manage that every game is on the line. Why not? The Astros are 4-7 on the season. Except for Wandy Rodriguez of all people, the starting rotation has not been that good. The bullpen isn't performing. The team's not hitting. He's starting Geoff Blum and Jason Smith every night.
Sure, some of those problems are the results of Drayton McLane and Ed Wade not signing any decent pitchers and letting Mark Loretta get away. But why shouldn't the manager be forced to manage like his job is on the line? Is job security suddenly going to make him actually going to improve the lines of communication between him and Jose Valverde?
And Jesus Ortiz tells me that Cooper deserves the extension because he's a decent man with a good heart. Well I deserved not to be laid off because I'm a decent man with a good heart, but that didn't work out too well for me, did it? And frankly, Cooper blaming the team's piss poor play on the past road trip to the weather just really doesn't inspire confidence. Sure it was cold. And sure the Astros had been in Florida all spring and then played three games in Houston. But just how are the Astros different than the Cardinals and Pirates who also spent all spring in Florida?
The Astros players don't think much of Cecil Cooper. The only thing in his advantage is that he's a decent guy. So just how is all of this deserving of a contract extension? I don't think it matters. If the Astros still continue sucking, then I stand by my prediction that Cooper will be first NL manager to be fired this season.
I don't get it.
He writes that Cooper shouldn't be forced to manage that every game is on the line. Why not? The Astros are 4-7 on the season. Except for Wandy Rodriguez of all people, the starting rotation has not been that good. The bullpen isn't performing. The team's not hitting. He's starting Geoff Blum and Jason Smith every night.
Sure, some of those problems are the results of Drayton McLane and Ed Wade not signing any decent pitchers and letting Mark Loretta get away. But why shouldn't the manager be forced to manage like his job is on the line? Is job security suddenly going to make him actually going to improve the lines of communication between him and Jose Valverde?
And Jesus Ortiz tells me that Cooper deserves the extension because he's a decent man with a good heart. Well I deserved not to be laid off because I'm a decent man with a good heart, but that didn't work out too well for me, did it? And frankly, Cooper blaming the team's piss poor play on the past road trip to the weather just really doesn't inspire confidence. Sure it was cold. And sure the Astros had been in Florida all spring and then played three games in Houston. But just how are the Astros different than the Cardinals and Pirates who also spent all spring in Florida?
The Astros players don't think much of Cecil Cooper. The only thing in his advantage is that he's a decent guy. So just how is all of this deserving of a contract extension? I don't think it matters. If the Astros still continue sucking, then I stand by my prediction that Cooper will be first NL manager to be fired this season.
Other Than That, How'd You Like The Play Mrs. Lincoln
I think I have found the next pitching coach for the Houston Astros, because the stuff coming out of the mouth of New York Yankees' pitching coach Dave Eiland about Chien-Ming Wang sound an awful lot like the crap I heard after every Brandon Backe start last season.
For those who don't know, the Yankees got the crap beaten out of them yesterday. The final score was 22-4. They surrendered 14 runs in the second inning alone. Wang, the starter, made it through 1.1 inning. In that 1.1 inning, he gave up eight hits, eight runs, eight earned runs, and a homer. Wang has had three starts for the Yankees this season. In those three starts, he's lasted just a total of six innings. And in those six innings, he's given up 23 earned runs for an ERA of 34.50.
But according to the New York Times, after the game "Eiland said he actually saw progress on Saturday, pointing to a 1-2-3 first inning and an infield squibber that started the Indians’ 14-run second inning."
What did I tell you. This guy's perfect for handling the Astros rotation. Bring him on.
For those who don't know, the Yankees got the crap beaten out of them yesterday. The final score was 22-4. They surrendered 14 runs in the second inning alone. Wang, the starter, made it through 1.1 inning. In that 1.1 inning, he gave up eight hits, eight runs, eight earned runs, and a homer. Wang has had three starts for the Yankees this season. In those three starts, he's lasted just a total of six innings. And in those six innings, he's given up 23 earned runs for an ERA of 34.50.
But according to the New York Times, after the game "Eiland said he actually saw progress on Saturday, pointing to a 1-2-3 first inning and an infield squibber that started the Indians’ 14-run second inning."
What did I tell you. This guy's perfect for handling the Astros rotation. Bring him on.
Open The Pod Bay Doors, Hal.
So I've got to do these job-searching activities each week to remain eligible for unemployment -- which, though I filed for it over a month ago I've yet to get and the story of which I'll go into later. I've met with recruiters. And sent resumes to friends -- and I've got plenty of resumes to send out to any friends who want them and think they can help.But on Saturday, I registered with Monster.com. What can it hurt, right? And I actually saw some attorney postings I hadn't seen elsewhere on the web. There were even some postings from my recruiters seeking applicants for temp/contract positions for which I'm qualified and for which they've yet to tell me about so I'm majorly pissed about that.
Anyway, after you do all of this mumbo-jumbo including a work history, an education history, goals, etc., they start giving you ideas for jobs for which you should apply. And the job at the top of the list that they (HAL 9000) composed for me was a position for cook at The Cheesecake Factory in San Antonio?
Huh?
I don't cook. I'm okay with the microwave, but cook? Hell, if my family actually thought I still existed they would be laughing their asses off. I've got three degrees. A B.A. in Radio-Television, minor in English with membership in the University of Houston's Honors Program (now Honors College) from the University of Houston. I've got a Juris Doctorate from South Texas College of Law. And I've got a LL.M. (Masters of Law) from the McGeorge School of Law. Nowhere in that background is anything on cooking.
And as for job experience, let's see. I've worked for Channel Two, KPRC. I've worked graphics/replays for the Astrodome DiamondVision. I've written book reviews for the Houston Chronicle, and I write sports for the Houston Press. I've been a junior litigation associate. And a contract attorney. And a staff attorney in charge of document review/production. Once again, nowhere is there any mention of cooking experience. None.
So where did it come up with a list that shows that my number one job option is as a cook for The Cheesecake Factory in San Antonio?
By the way, I live in Houston. I made it clear that I live in Houston. I said I would be willing to travel for work. But I think traveling to San Antonio to cook for The Cheesecake Factory is asking a bit too much.
Then again, maybe the problem is all with me. Maybe I'm just being too demanding. But really, is it asking too much for this thing to match me up with some actual attorney jobs? Or something befitting my educational background?
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