An Open Letter To Matt Schaub

Dear Mr. Schaub:

I heard you on Sports Radio 610 today, and I heard you express your disgust and anger at those fans who left the game after your second interception of the game allowed the Colts to jump into the lead. You said that if they were really Texans fans, then they would have stuck around to the bitter end so that they could watch you fumble away the ball while completely fumbling away the game.

I guess I understand your anger. After all, Sage Rosenfels choked away a game against the Colts last year, and this year he’s playing on a Super Bowl quality team and backing up a Hall of Famer. So I can only assume that you wanted as many people as possible to witness your attempt to become a back up on a Super Bowl quality team.

You need not have worried though. The game was, unfortunately, on TV here in Houston, and the entire city got to witness you do your best Rosenfels impersonation. So if anybody has the right to be mad, it’s the fans. And they should be pissed off at you.

Seeing as how you essentially failed to show up for the second half of the game, I don’t know why it is that you should be so upset that the fans didn’t show up for the second half of the game. The fans are paying to watch your awful play, and if they don’t want to stick around to watch you and your teammates give away a third straight game, then they shouldn’t have to stick around. You’re getting paid -- thanks to these people buying tickets -- so you should be sending them all thank you cards for buying the tickets in the first place, much less send them a thank you for even bothering to show up at the game.

I’m sorry that you’re angry, Matt. But we’re mad at you. We’re tired of you putting up great stats during the first half of the game, but then when it really counts, you become Mr. Turnover. So screw you, Matt. May you be replaced by a real quarterback soon.

Sincerely,

A Pissed Off Texans Fan

Bye-Bye Bud?

So Bud Selig is again saying that he doesn't intend to serve past the term of his contract, which ends in 2012. Now it could be that Bud has seen 2012 and knows that the world's going to end, but unless he's a sudden believer in the Mayan calendar, I don't see Bud stepping down.

He's said such things in the past, then he's re-upped his contract. He's the commissioner who won't die, or quit, until he's completely destroyed the game. But please, please, let this be the end of the Bud, before the game is completely destroyed.

And David Pinto, who blogs on this topic at Baseball Musings, has a great idea, why not get the players in on the selection? And since an owner has been the commissioner, why not someone with no conflicts, or if they're going with conflicts, why not a player? I think Tom Glavine would be a good choice. He's intelligent, he's been with the union. And he's really respected.

The Rancher And The Fastball

I read this story today, and decided that I could briefly depart from my too busy to blog schedule in order to share. Anyway, it's about Russ Ohlendorf, a pitcher with the Pittsburgh Pirates who has decided that there's something more important to do in the offseason than workout and hang around. The Princeton grad, who graduated with a 3.86 GPA and had a 1520 SAT, is working as an intern -- that means for no money -- with the Department of Agriculture.

So give it a read. It's really interesting.

Nothing Really Matters

I've always been a fan of the Muppets. So let's just say I'm a big fan of this. Enjoy.

Dear Mr. Candidate, Don't Ruin My Sports With Your Campaign Appearance

Here's an interesting little story -- well, at least to me.

As many of you are aware, I have my political beliefs. But I don't like my politics mixing with sports. I especially don't like politicians show up at sporting events and get the free publicity. If you boo the bastards, then the fans of the guy get mad at you while you get mad at the people around you being total morons. And if you cheer the politico, then the opposite is bound to happen.

Long story short, I'm at the Aeros game on Friday night. Now my co-bloggers at The Third Intermission have yet to arrive, so I'm taking notes and watching the game for my game stories for the blog and for the mothership. Plus I've got the T3I twitter responsibilities, so I'm handling that, as well.

Right before the game, one Houston mayoral candidate Gene Locke appeared to drop the first puck. And later during the game, Locke got some prime campaigning time to himself as he got to speak to the crowd deliver a quick speech. It was announced that his opponent, Annise Parker, was asked to appear but that she declined. So I tweeted this.

Someone from the Locke campaign saw the tweet, and they responded by tweet that Ms. Parker was asked to appear "but for some reason could not attend." Well, it now appears that this some reason for the failure appear was because, before the Aeros came calling, both of them had agreed to appear on a debate that was to be televised live by the local PBS station at exactly the same time as the hockey game. A debate at which Ms. Parker appeared, fulfilling her commitment.

I write this because, as I said, I don't like having politicians ruin my sporting events, and this guy really sucked the energy out of the arena. I also don't like it when politicians treat me like an idiot. And this guy and his staff must have thought I was a huge idiot. So when the mothership had a bit on this today, and it mentioned Locke missing the debate, but didn't tell where he was at, I felt compelled to send my editor a note, and...busted.

So don't ruin my damn sporting events. And damn, if you're going to chicken out on scheduled campaign appearances, don't go blaming it on the opposition, at don't try to make me look like a fool.

Not So Fast On Brett Favre As MVP

So I was goofing off with Twitter yesterday, and I was seeing all of these so-called NFL experts saying that Brett Favre had to be the front runner for the NFL MVP award. And I got to wondering: why exactly is that?

In a span of seconds I came up with three players I think are more deserving of the MVP than Favre.

Number one: Peyton Manning. He's having another standard Peyton Manning season, and the Colts are undefeated. But without Marvin Harrison. Without Tony Dungy. Without a legitimate running back. Number two: Drew Brees. Like the Colts, the Saints are undefeated. But he's had to deal with numerous injuries among his running backs and receiving corps. And then there's Chris Johnson, the all-world running back with the Tennessee Titans, the guy who has kept the Titans competitive this season.

And none of these players has a guy like Adrian Peterson to provide them with support. And none of them have lied to their employers and their fans about what they're going to do with their career so that they can skip out on training camp.

So go ahead. Consider Brett Favre for the MVP. But people thinking about that are as stupid as the people considering Colt McCoy for the Heisman. Which means that they'll both win.

Some Thoughts On The Prisoner

I'm a bit late getting to this -- blame it on my travels and just now catching up on numerous things -- but count me in with the group to find the remake of The Prisoner very disappointing.

Yes, the original is one of my favorite television shows, ever. It was original. It was inventive. It was intelligent. It had wit.

This new version just isn't doing it for me -- I'm only two hours in. To me, one of the glories of the original was the fantastic verbal jousting that took place each episode between Number Six and that week's Number Two. There's just none of that here. In fact, there have been few scenes with the two characters. And I'm getting vibe that this is all some kind of hallucination -- like The Matrix or Vanilla Sky -- whereas the original was of very much a real world from which Six was trying to escape.

Who knows. Maybe the next four hours will totally blow me away. But failing that, and they're really failing that, then just re-air the original for the original is still mind-blowing entertainment.

About That Whole New Stadium To Stay Competitive Thing

I haven't been blogging over here much lately -- yes, yes, I'm sorry -- but I've still been fulfilling my duties for the mothership. And on Thursday, I posted this little beauty. It's a list of 25 things to anticipate for Monday's Texans/Titans game. Among the things I mentioned were Richard Justice reminding all of us that Vince Young is God, that the Texans bypassed Vince to draft Mario Williams, and that Justice wouldn't mention Vince Young's problems from the past year or so.

All that I've got to say is...Thank you, Richard Justice.

And in the comments to thatmy post is a note from a couple of people about how Bud Adams wanted to stay, but that he needed a new stadium to stay competitive. I'm knowingnot going to get into about how the Houston-area taxpayers were still paying for all that crap that Bud demanded we do to the Dome to get him to stay back in the 80s. Nor will I mention that Buds's supposed partner in the new stadium, the Rockets, wanted nothing to do with it.

No, what I want to address is the new stadium to stay competitive thing. And I'm going to address that by asking how in the hell the Packers have managed to stay competitive? When was the last time they had a new stadium? The Chargers and Vikings play in old stadiums, and they're still doing fine, even though they're whining and threatening to move.

What needs to be reminded is that the NFL is a huge moneymaking enterprise, no matter what, thanks to socialism. All league revenue is split evenly among all 32 teams. The network TV money is split evenly among all 32 teams. There's a salary cap so that no team can spend more than any other team. There's the draft so that the worst teams get a chance to take the best new players every year.

So a new stadium wasn't needed to stay competitive. It might have been necessary to line Bud Adams's pockets, but it wasn't necessary for the team to remain competitive.

You Recommend Kenny Rogers Why?

So I was just playing around with my iPod and downloading some new stuff. And when I opened up iTunes, the little Genius bar opened on the side and started recommending some stuff I should get based on what I have loaded.

Now I'm not much for country music, as you no doubt know, but I do have some. I'm a firm believer that you can't have a legit music catalogue and not have any Johnny Cash, so I have some Johnny Cash -- not as much as I'd like, but I'm slowly trying to build it (I need to get some of his daughter and some Dwight Yoakum while I'm at it). Anyway, over in the Genius bar, there's a recommendation that I download some Kenny Rogers based upon my collection of Johnny Cash.

Like I said, I'm not a country music expect by any means. But I don't think that liking Johnny Cash necessarily means that one would like Kenny Rogers. Maybe some Kris Kristofferson, or some Rosanne Cash or Rodney Crowell. But Kenny Rogers? I don't think so. That would almost be like recommending Herman's Hermits because I've got The Beatles on my iPod.

My point. Maybe this Genius bar ain't really the genius that it thinks it is.

Missing Out On The Glamour Of Los Angeles

Several years ago, back when I worked for the former full-time employer, I was on the yearly Houston office pilgrimage to New York to pay homage to the big boys signing our checks. And we were staying at the huge Hilton on Sixth Avenue not far from Broadway.

At the same time we were there, there was some kind of international young modeling competition thing going on involving kids from about five to 18 -- boys and girls, men and women -- were entered and they were doing runway stuff and acting things, etc while the girls were running around all over the place in short skirts and almost nothing else. Also, at this same time, staying out the hotel, was a major league baseball team (which will remain nameless).

One night, I went to a baseball game. When I got back to the hotel, I found myself on an elevator with some of the young female models and one of said baseball team's coaches. The models got off before we did. And the coach shook his head as the doors closed and said he couldn't wait to get out of this city because he just had a bad feeling that one of his younger players was going to get into some kind of problem.

All of this is just a long set-up to a funny story about my trip to Los Angeles....

You see, it wasn't until I got home that I discovered that, at the same time I was in Los Angeles, and inside my hotel, was something called Glamourcon. Which had me banging my head against the wall when I discovered that while I was out roaming L.A., hoping to accidentally bump into some actor or actress, there were a bunch of Playboy models and porn stars in one of the convention halls of my hotel.

So while I was out looking at the L.A. scenery, I missed out on looking at all of the L.A. scenery.

Photo from Google Images

Some Photos From Los Angeles

I thought I would share some of my Los Angeles photos with you, especially for those of you who have never before been there. And as you can see, it was really beautiful weather.

This photo right below is of the Venice Beach boardwalk.

And this photo below was taken on the Santa Monica Pier. No. I didn't go for a ride, but I did get some ice cream from the shop I was standing right next to. It was kind of chilly out -- not that you can tell from this photo, but the place was packed.

This, of course, is the famous Hollywood sign. I took the photo from Griffith Observatory. It was gorgeous up there, and even early on a Sunday the area was packed with tourists, like me, and joggers and hikers.

This photo is looking out from a mall on Hollywood and Highland, right next to the Kodak Theater, home of the Oscars and American Idol. This photo is looking out toward downtown L.A.

And up these stairs is the entrance to the Kodak Theater and the Oscars.

I hope you enjoy the photos. And I'll try to get back to legit blogging later.

Hey, How About A Blog Post

I got home from the temp job this evening with every intention of blogging because, well, I actually had some stuff I felt like blogging about. So I sat at my computer, and I started paying bills, then the NBC Thursday night comedies came on, now I'm watching football, and...

Sorry.

My intentions were good. For what that's worth. And for what it's worth, it's been a really busy week, what with the traveling and Cougar basketball and Aeros hockey...Not that that's any excuse.

I promise to try and get back at it soon. Really, I do.

Promise.

My Top 25 Random Thoughts About A Trip To Los Angeles

Because it's a cheap and easy way to get a blog post -- and that's how I roll -- I thought I would share some thoughts on my L.A. trip by way of a list of 25 Random Things. So....

1. There is no NFL team in Los Angeles. Yet, strangely, the city is still is standing. When Houston didn't have a NFL team, I can't remember the number of times I heard that Houston was no longer a real city and that it was no longer a major city.

2. Speaking of the NFL...I walked into the Hooters on Hollywood Boulevard -- across the street from Grauman's Chinese Theater -- and it was like I was in Pittsburgh. Everybody was wearing Steelers jerseys -- except the Hooters girls, of course -- and just about every TV was tuned into the Steelers/Bengals game. I guess it was bad of me to be cheering for the Bengals.

3. I couldn't believe how blue the water of the Pacific Ocean was. Or how white and wide and clean the beaches were. And there were no cars anywhere near the beach. No wonder Galveston looks like such a dump.

4. In Houston, I've seen the homeless on street corners with signs saying "Why lie? I need money for beer." On the Venice Beach boardwalk, there were bums with signs begging for a quarter so they could buy weed.

5. I thought the medical marijuana facilities and the doctors were in different buildings. But there was one spot on the Venice boardwalk which seemed to be both in the same place.

6. And there were people working for that facility out on the boardwalk trying to recruit patients.

7. I can't believe how happy I was to not see Jack Bauer hanging around anywhere in L.A.

8. But I was upset that I didn't see Zooey Deschanel or Ashley Judd anywhere.

9. And I was a little troubled that nobody I spoke to could point me in the direction of CTU. It seems like everybody on 24 knows the location of CTU headquarters, and non-CTU citizens always seemed to be roaming around the place. I thought it was the easiest place in the world to find.

10. I went driving around the mountains and canyons of L.A. in an attempt to find the mountain lion that terrorized Kim Bauer. Unfortunately, I didn't have any luck.

11. Speaking of which, I also drove around Malibu. But I didn't see Mel Gibson swerving around the road and calling cops "sugar tits."

12. And I was informed that, despite what David Geffen thinks, he doesn't own Malibu Beach. However, you can't get to the beach in Malibu without getting through somebody's house.

13. I also drove down Sunset Boulevard, but I didn't see any markers memorializing the Hugh Grant/Divine Brown episode.

14. Who decides the placement of the stars on Hollywood Boulevard? Can't you just imagine the bragging rights among those with placement in front of the Kodak Theater as opposed to those with placement by the strip club?

15. I was disappointed to not see Batman or Charlie Chaplin in front of the Kodak Theater. I did see Darth Vader and a Stormtrooper, however. So maybe the force wasn't with me on Sunday.

16. They the titles of all of the Oscar best movie winners in front of the Kodak Theater, which is where they hold the Oscars. I still, to this day, can't believe that Gladiator won the Oscar for best picture.

17. And Hollywood Boulevard wasn't as trashy as I thought it would be.

18. 11. I walked into a Banana Republic in hopes of having Larry David stick me in a cameo of Curb Your Enthusiasm like he did with Ben Affleck. But I didn't have any luck.

19. And while at Grauman's, I stood in Jimmy Stewart's footprints. Now I keep seeing six-foot tall rabbits named Harvey.

20. The view from the Griffith Observatory, looking down over the city and the valleys is one of the most spectacular views I've ever seen.

21. I drove through Beverly Hills. I was disappointed that I didn't see Jethro Bodine.

22. John Derek has a star on Hollywood Boulevard. Is that the coveted star for taking nudie pictures of his wives?

23. I did meet one celebrity. Well, a celebrity to me. Emmy Award winning writer Ken Levine was holding a writing seminar in my hotel. He wrote for M.A.S.H., Cheers, Frasier, and The Simpsons among other sitcoms.

24. Is there anything better than the smell of Cinnabon at an airport?

25. I don't believe in the death penalty, but the Muzak rendition of "Michelle" that was playing in IAH as I walked through it at 11:57 on Sunday night is as good a cause as I can think of for handing out the ultimate punishment.

Some Musings On A Day In Los Angeles (Vicinity)

I've had a great day here in Los Angeles. The weather is beyond perfect. The skies clear. The temp just that right degree of cold but not too cold. In other words, that kind of weather that would make Houston liveable were it to be year round like that.

I haven't really spent much actual time in L.A. My friend and her husband showed up at my airport hotel at about 11:00, and they took me out to Venice Beach for brunch and to roam the boardwalk for a few hours. That's a shock when compared to what we have in Galveston. First, there's that whole thing with the water. It's blue. A gorgeous color of blue. The beaches are huge, and wide, not the narrow strips of Galveston.

Then there was the freek show of Venice Beach. And I love that kind of stuff. My friend's husband says he likes to come out on weekends and find one of those spots where you can watch the beach and the water, then when you get bored with that view, turn around and watch all of the people walking the Venice boardwalk.

Then it was up to Santa Monica and roaming around the Santa Monica pier and boardwalk, then a drive through Topanga Canyon and Malibu. No, I didn't see any stars. But I'm going to spend my day tomorrow roaming Hollywood before heading for the airport.

I've needed a day like this. No worries. No stress. Just relaxation and time spent with one of my best friends from college whom I haven't seen in years.

I've got lots of pictures, and I'll post some of those next week, if I get the time -- I've got a busy week lined up what with the getting home late tomorrow night, the temp job, and UH basketball and football and Aeros hockey throughout the week.

And Now, For 25 Songs from John's iPod

So as I established below, I had a good flight to Los Angeles balanced with a crappy movie. So I spent a lot of the flight listening to my iPod. And you know what that means, don't you? Yep, here's my listing with comments of the first 25 songs (plus three) to pop up on the shuffle feature.

1. "First Cut Is The Deepest," Sheryl Crow. She recorded this for her greatest hits CD. Since this song, her stuff has been crap. I think this song is at fault.

2. "Pulling Mussels (From The Shell)," Squeeze. British New Wave. The song still works for me, but it's not "Tempted."

3. "Honestly," Zwan. Billy Corgan sucks outside of the Smashing Pumpkins. And even then, he needs the rest of the original band. I still can't believe I bought this CD.

4. "Do You Have A Little Time," Dido. She's cute -- see picture -- and she's got that British accent thing going on. Still, she's better when she's sampled by Eminem.

5. "I'm Not Angry," Elvis Costello. Three of my first five songs are from the Brits. You can never go wrong with Elvis -- well, okay, Kojak Variety and his forays into country and crooning -- but when it comes to rock, he really rocks.

6. "I Am The Walrus," The Beatles. What a coincidence. I was writing about this earlier over at T3I. The story I've always heard about this song is that John Lennon heard that one of his ex-teachers was using The Beatles songs to teach his kids how to read and understand poetry, and Lennon wrote this so as it made absolutely no sense whatsoever as a result.

7. "Miss Independence," Kelly Clarkson. Yeah, I've got some Kelly Clarkson on my iPod. So shoot me.

8. "Badlands (Live)," Bruce Springsteen. Always a concert highlight.

9. "Hollow Man," R.E.M. Curse those reviewers who made me buy this CD, which is the one the band put out last year. It's not bad, it's just not good. And this song is not bad, but it's not good.

10. "Dizzy Miss Lizzy," The Beatles. Enough said.

11. "Figure Of Eight," Paul McCartney. 1988 was a very good year for Mr. McCartney. He rediscovered musical relevance. This was a good song off of a good album.

12. "Tramp The Dirt Down," Elvis Costello. One of the reasons 1988 was a good year for Mr. McCartney was that he worked with Mr. Costello. They wrote songs for each other and performed on some of them. I don't think McCartney co-wrote this song, but this album also marked a return to rock relevance for Costello.

13. "Welcome To The Jungle," Guns N' Roses. Eh. I hear at every Aeros game.

14. "Almost Golden," Courtney Love. When she's sober and off of the drugs, Ms. Love can put out some really good music. This was a good song off of a very good album. It's a real shame that no one but me bought it.

15. "Heather," Paul McCartney. This is Mr. McCartney at the turn of the century. I wonder if he regrets naming a song after this ex-Mrs. McCartney?

16. "This Old Feeling," The Go-Go's. I haven't heard this one in ages. I'm a big fan of these ladies.

17. "Intergalactic," The Beastie Boys. Fun song. Fun video.

18. "Nutted By Reality," Nick Lowe, the original producer of Elvis Costello, had this nice little song off of one of the great albums of the 1970s, Jesus Is Cool. I really don't know why this didn't go big.

19. "A Man In Love," Nick Lowe. This is late-era Lowe, from about 2-3 years ago. The man has aged gracefully. Very nice song.

20. "Depot Street," Mudcrunch. Ah, speak of deep cut. This is Tom Petty's original band.

21. "Shadow And Jimmy," Was (Not Was). Always good work from these guys.

22. "Everlong (Acoustic)," Foo Fighters. I wasn't a fan of the acoustic version when I first heard it on the radio. But then I saw them do it in concert and it knocked me out. A good comparison for me is Lindsey Buckingham going acoustic with "Go Insane."

23. "Make Me Smile (Come Up And See Me)," Steve Harley. This was the end title song for the movie Velvet Goldmine which was kind of about David Bowie but not really, if you know what I mean. I like this song.

24. "Diamond Meadows," T-Rex. More 1970s glam rock.

25. "Never Gonna Be The Same," Courtney Love. More good work from a very good album.

And The Bonus:

26. "Sleeping With The Television On," Billy Joel. An underrated Joel song off of a good early-80s album.

27. "You'll Be Coming Down," Bruce Springsteen. BRRRUUUUUCCCEEE!!!!!

28. "Run Baby Run," Garbage. I miss this band.

Only 5609 songs to go before I've heard everything on my iPod.

Maybe Dan Aykroyd Is Our Greatest Living Actress

So I've just arrived in Los Angeles for the weekend. I'm going to visit a friend from college -- I would say old friend, but she would beat the crap out of me -- and I'm going to pitch my reality show idea, Real Document Reviewers of Harris County. I'm grabbing a snack and getting ready for sleepy time before I go out to the Santa Monica pier and Venice Beach on Saturday.

I had a nice flight. I got upgraded to first class -- always a good thing. This after a friend of mine who works for the airline tried to get me a spot on an exit row and claimed it was impossible, yet I was upgraded from my exit row seat I got myself. And I think the upgrade was karma for helping an old guy put his luggage in the overhead compartment.

The in-flight movie was awful, some trash called Julie & Julia and starring Meryl Streep as Julia Child and Amy Adams as someone named Julie Powell. Now I know Streep is supposed to be our GREATEST LIVING ACTRESS, but when I'm watching someone play Child, I shouldn't spend the movie thinking that Dan Aykroyd did it better -- it didn't help that they showed the old Aykroyd clip in the movie -- and I definitely shouldn't be thinking that Streep is doing an impression of Aykroyd.

But hey, at least Amy Adams is cute.

By the way, here's the (in)famous Aykroyd SNL skit.

A Little Random Music Listening

I haven't been posting much lately. I realize that. And I kind of miss it. Then again, I've been kind of busy with the temp job and just haven't been much up to the blogging thing when I get home.

But I thought I would do a little something I used to do. I've been listening to my iPod at the job, and I've had it on shuffle. So...here are the first 25 songs (plus some bonus ones) that I got off the shuffle this morning.

1. Channeling Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel from 5oo Days of Summer, I stumble upon The Smiths doing "There's A Light That Never Goes Out." It's the song that he's listening to in the elevator and to which she starts singing. Have I ever mentioned that I have this thing for Zooey Deschanel?

2. "This Charming Man," also by The Smiths. The shuffle rarely hits upon two songs from the same group back to back like that. I almost expected Zooey to pop up from nowhere and surprise me.

3. "Helen Wheels (Crazy)," from Disc Two of the 25th Anniversary edition of Band on the Run by Paul McCartney and Wings. This is just one of the alternate takes of the song with some McCartney commentary at the end.

4. "Downside Up (Live)" by Peter Gabriel. Not my favorite Gabriel.

5. "Pope," Prince. Can almost never go wrong with Prince.

6. "With A Gun," Steely Dan. Some sick, twisted fun. Can never go wrong with Steely Dan.

7. "Insignificant," Counting Crows. I wasn't that big a fan of the last album, off which this song originated. And I'm not that fond of this song.

8. "Your Eyes," The Sundays. I always thought this group would be huge. I was wrong.

9. "Bag It Up," Oasis. Definitely not their best.

10. "Long Road To Ruin," Foo Fighters. I love this song. I love this group. I love the video.

11. "Working On A Dream," Bruce Springsteen. This is why he's The Boss.

12. "The Dream's Lost On Me," Blondie. A deep cut.

13. "Fly," Luscious Jackson.

14. "Dreaming," Blondie. I. Love. This. Song.

15. "Girls Run," Liz Phair. I was lucky enough to see her three times in the same city in three different venues in one year.

16. "Take Me Back To Chicago," Chicago. Lesser Chicago.

17. "If She Would Have Been Faithful," Chicago. Even lesser Chicago, and post-Peter Cetera.

18. "My Prerogative," Britney Spears. Yes, I have some Britney on my iPod. So shoot me.

19. "Table For One," Juliana Hatfield. Sounds like her heart is breaking even if she's happy, and this isn't really a happy song.

20. "Gaslighting Abbie," Steely Dan. I don't like the newer stuff as much as I do their stuff from the 70s.

21. "Wedding Vows in Vegas," Was (Not Was). A funny ballad. I miss this group.

22. "Lucky Town," Bruce Springsteen without the band. But still good. Damn good.

23. "Tumbling Down," The Venus In Furs. A little glam rock is never bad.

24. "Colorblind," Counting Crows. This isn't bad.

25. "Fade Away And Radiate," Blondie. Three Blondie songs in 25 attempts. That makes for a good day.

And the bonus songs.

26. "Undone (The Sweater Song)," Weezer. Just a fun song.

27. "Unknown Legend," Neil Young. I appreciate Neil Young more than I like Neil Young. But I like this one. A lot.

28. "Needle And The Damage Done," Neil Young once again. And once again, one of the Neil Young songs I really like.

Miguel Tejada, Team Leader

Richard Justice has an Astros blog post posted, and it deals with whether the Astros should sign Miguel Tejada to play third base. Justice appears to be making the argument that the Astros should use the money that would be needed to sign Tejada for other purposes -- like pitching -- and I agree.

But then there's this. While quoting Astros GM Ed Wade going on about what a great guy Tejada is, Justice comes writes this:

"Tejada made $14.8 million in 2009. He's a great, great guy, a great clubhouse presence, a great teammate."

And that, I think is one of the biggest problems that the Astros have had the best several years. Miguel Tejada is seen as a great clubhouse guy and a great teammate. Which reminds me of all that I read about Tejada being a team leader.

If Miguel Tejada is your team leader, your team is in trouble. He's a steroid cheat. He lied to Congress. He lied about his age. He's everything you don't want in a leader. Yet the leader of the Astros he has been.

So if you need another reason the Astros suck, team leader Miguel Tejada is it. And if the Astros bring him back this year, you can be assured, once again, that the Astros really don't give a damn about winning.

Helter Skelter

And since I was just talking about it down below, here's The Beatles and "Helter Skelter."

When I Get To The Bottom I Go Back To The Top Of The Slide

One of the things that used to get me through law school was my job with the Houston Astros on the DiamondVision. I had generally had to get there several hours early to input stats for the DiamondVision screens, which meant that I was always there in time for batting practice. I don't know what it was, but there was always something about sitting there and watching batting practice that seemed to calm me and put me in a good mood.

Perhaps it was the rhythmic timing. Or the sound of ball on wood. I'm not sure. But no matter how stressed I was by my day, BP seemed to help things immensely. That, primarily, is the one thing I miss most about not working for the Astros because now I can't see batting practice. Asshole Drayton generally keeps the gates locked until about an hour before game time so that he doesn't have to pay his employees extra dollars for being there to open the gates early.

Anyway, I digress. The whole point was that I used to have this thing that could de-stress my day which I no longer have. Instead today -- which has been a stressful day and temp attorneys should never have stressful days -- has found me listening to The Beatles on a never-ending basis -- and not side two of Abbey Road which always calms me -- but the White Album, and more specifically, "Helter Skelter" which is not the most uplifting songs.

So instead of going down to the Toyota Center dining room and grabbing my free meal, I'm going to try sitting up at my press table and watching the skaters come out and do their pregame ice routines. And maybe instead of "Helter Skelter" I'll give side two of Abbey Road a try.

It can't hurt. Right?

Dear Drayton...

Dear Mr. McLane:

I noticed that you have re-signed third baseman Geoff Blum. According to the reports, you are giving him $1.5 million for this year, and that there is a mutual option for 2011 that would let him make $1.65 million.

Now seeing as how you like to waste millions of dollars on an essentially useless player -- this guy longs to be David Eckstein without having any of Eckstein's accomplishments, and anybody who ever read Fire Joe Morgan knows that Eckstein never actually had any accomplishments either -- instead of using the money for something more important, like maybe finding some way to give a free agent pitcher some more money, I'd like to make a suggestion.

Give that money to me. As you may know, I was laid off back in March, and since then, I've been bouncing around between temporary jobs. But seeing as how Blum only hit .247 and got only 49 RBI, I think it would just be better for you to give me, say, $500,000 for this year and $625,000 next year. That will save you two million dollars over the next two years, and since this money would allow me to pay off all of my debts while still leaving me with dollars to spare, I'll promise to buy two season tickets for the next two years. Not only that, I will promise to buy food and drinks from your concessions. And at the prices you charge, you'll recoup your investment in no time.

Thanks,

John Royal

P.S.: Oh, I also noticed that you have promised to review the team's many varied misteps -- like the Carlos Lee contract, and the Kaz Matsui contract, and trading for Miguel Tejada the day before the Mitchell Report, and the raping of the farm system, etc. And that's all good. But you should really have done this before you hired Brad Mills as your manager because the people who advised you on Mills are the same people who have advised you about Carlos Lee and Kaz Matsui and Miguel Tejada and the farm system.

You should have done the review first and fired the necessary people first. Then you should have made hiring the manager secondary to fixing the rest of your staff because Brad Mills isn't going to be able to do much if the people who thought Kaz Matsui was a must-sign are still running things.