I just wanted to thank you for coming to my apartment's workout room today. Sure, it was my first time to use it in a long while, but you reminded me of why I hated using it. Never mind that there were already three of there, and that we had the TV tuned to the MLB Network. You took it upon yourself to turn it to World Cup, and since we were in the middle of workouts on the treadmills, it wasn't worth our while to stop, get off, and go change the channel, which you probably well knew.
I would also like to thank you for ignoring the close-captioning that we had turned on so that we could watch the action, read the words if we wanted, and listen to music. That wasn't good enough for you, so you had to jack up the volume to 11. My ears are still ringing from turning up the volume on my iPod in a vain attempt to drown out the soccer commentators.
I would also like to thank you for jumping on a treadmill, after your 15 minutes of stretching, running full speed, and texting people while you were out. And excuse me for praying you would lose your balance and fall on your face. That was wrong of me. After all, if I were in shape, I would be as awesome as you are.
Finally, I just want to thank you for finishing before the rest of us. And I know that you must have been a tight schedule because you walked out without putting the TV back on the MLB Network or lowering the volume.