Wait A Minute, Timmy Tebow Gets A Commerical, But Not PETA?

So I see that little Timmy Tebow and his mommy are starring in a Super Bowl commercial for Focus On The Family, one of our finer homophobic anti-choice institutions. And Timmy can do whatever the hell he wants -- I wonder if he cries in it -- but I'm curious about just why it is that this advertisement -- which appears to be an anti-choice one -- gets to air on television during the Super Bowl?

In the past Super Bowl ads that have been deemed controversial have not been allowed to air during the game as it has been stated that the networks/NFL "would not air controversial issues of public importance." As such, advertisements from MoveOn.org and PETA have been banned during recent Super Bowls, yet an organization that preaches hatred gets to have a commercial?

But if MoveOn.org can't air an anti-Bush commercial, and PETA can't air an ad talking about how vegetarians have better sex, then why do these nutjobs get a commercial? I'm willing to bet that a pro-choice group wouldn't be allowed a Super Bowl commercial, nor I'm willing to wager, would a group advocating gay marriage. But who knows, maybe Thom Brennaman will narrate the commercial.

A Funny Thing Happened While At The Office

So here's an interesting story...

I'm working at the new temp job on Friday -- my second day. And we have to work a minimum of 11 hours a day at the facility on the weekdays until the end of February, and you get to take a half-hour off during that time for lunch. So I'm getting my bearings when I get this call on my cell from some guy claiming to be a reporter at Channel 11 in Houston, asking if I live at such-and-such address, and wanting to know if I cared to comment on the police activity going on at my apartment complex at that time.

After telling this dweeb I had no idea of what he was talking about, I called my apartment complex, where they failed to answer. About 20 minutes later, I tried again and they answered. First they got kind of angry at me because I spoke to a reporter. After reminding them that he called me, and I said nothing, I was told that there had just been an arrest made of some guy caught breaking into an apartment -- probably one of those apartments with a note sticking out of the door from management about burglaries that have been happening and about how we should not do anything to indicate we're not home. I was finally able to get out of them that my apartment was not broken into, and nothing was taken.

They thought.

They said they were making a check of the apartments and would be calling if anything happened. I never heard back. I got home from the temp job about seven hours later, and luckily, things were okay. But let's just say that this isn't the type of phone call that one wants to get on the second day of a new temp job.

Jay Leno Kills Again

I'm not the biggest Jay Leno fan. Neither was Johnny Carson. One of the reasons that Carson quit The Tonight Show when he did was that Leno was going behind his back and trying to get the show from him, so Carson decided to go out on his own terms. And one of his desired terms was that his protege, David Letterman, would get the show instead of Leno.

Leno, who had at one time claimed to be friends with Letterman -- and owed a lot of his fame to Letterman giving him continuous appearances on Late Night -- then stabbed Letterman in the back and took the show from him. Letterman moved to CBS and Conan O'Brien took Letterman's show -- with Letterman's backing (when Conan was struggling, Letterman made a notable guest appearance on Conan's show). I've never been sure, exactly of everything that occurred with Conan getting The Tonight Show, but it was some much needed karma to Leno.

NBC moved to Leno into prime time, where his show has bombed and the affiliates have revolted. Sunday, NBC cancelled Leno, but said that they would be moving him back to 11:35 (10:35 central) with the hopes of bumping Conan back half-an-hour, Jimmy Fallon back half-an-hour, and Carson Daly disappearing. Today, Conan essentially told NBC to fuck off, stating that he would not move his show.

I have no idea what Conan is going to say on his show tonight -- NBC is letting him do a show -- but Letterman has already weighed in on the situation. And as you can tell, he doesn't much care for Leno.



Now Letterman forgot just one thing -- he forgot to add himself to those killed by Leno.

25 Random Musings From A Day Of Unexpected Unemployment

I was supposed to work today. Long story short: I was called in for an emergency job that was to last three weeks. I was going to work six a.m. to 2:30 p.m. six days a week. I worked yesterday -- there was no heat. I woke at five this morning. Couldn't get into the building because the security guard wasn't around. Then got up to the office at 6:00 to find it locked. Then slowly my fellow doc reviewers filtered in, and we all stood at the door. Finally, at 7:00, we all got emails saying the project was cancelled and that we were to go home.

(And people wonder about why I'm such a cynical bastard.)

So I found myself with an unexpected day with nothing to do -- unless like so many of my days over the past year. Thus, here are 25 random musings from an unexpected day of unemployment.

1. I hate waking up at 5:00 a.m. Always have. Always will.

2. If you arrive for a your job at 6:00 a.m., and nobody's there to let you in an hour later, you probably don't have a job anymore.

3. There's nothing better than being exhausted from waking up at 5:00 a.m. and being able to go back to bed several hours later and sleep until noon.

4. Of course, being able to go back to sleep because the bastards cancelled your job without having the grace to tell you sucks big time.

5. I took advantage of the day off, and a special it was running on a cheeseburger platter, to go to Hooters for lunch. And it might just be me, but I really hate the black uniforms that the ladies seem to wear whenever I go to the place.

6. For some reason, at about 2:00, ESPN 2 must have been trying to lose viewership because they were showing a soccer match.

7. At that same time, Hooters must have been trying to lose customers because their TVs were either on ESPN and soccer, or else they were on the Fox News Channel.

8. I saw nothing but hot blonde women and dweeby, nerdy guys on the Fox News Channel. It's nice to see that they believe in affirmative action for minorities.

9. Mark McGwire used steroids? Never saw that coming.

10. So the Seattle Seahawks made Pete Carroll their head coach. I guess they have forgotten his tenure as head coach with the New York Jets and New England Patriots.

11. So Pete Carroll left the U.S.C. Trojans. The NCAA sanction police must be about to hit.

12. Oops. So the sanction police really are about to hit at U.S.C.

13. Wait a minute, Mark McGwire used steroids?

14. Sarah Palin's been hired to be a commentator at Fox News? Does this mean she's actually going to have read some newspapers now?

15. New betting pool: seeing as how Palin has quit every job she's ever had before her contract/term was up, who wants to bet on how long she stays at Fox?

16. Question: how can a nitwit like Palin keep getting jobs whereas I can't get one that last past 24 hours? Should I get a boob job or something?

17. So the Astros signed wife-beater Brett Myers to a contract last week. Somewhere, Julio Lugo is wondering why in the hell Drayton McLane is such a hypocritical asshole.

18. As I start typing this post, Mark McGwire is being interviewed by Bob Costas on the MLB Network. I predict that, come the end of the interview, the commentators on the MLB Network will say that McGwire wasn't contrite enough and still isn't telling the truth.

19. Just got around to watching last night's premiere of Big Love. The genius who suggested changing the song and the look of the opening credits needs to be shot. Seasons one-three here and the new season here.

20. I don't know if I've said this before, but unemployment sucks.

21. The officiating at Saturday's Cougars basketball game was the worst officiating I've ever seen at a so-called major college basketball game.

22. I'm still trying to figure out why ESPN was subjecting people to the horrors of soccer on a Monday afternoon.

23. Hey, what do you know, the commentators on the MLB Network don't think that Mark McGwire was truthful enough. I never saw that coming.

24. Simon Cowell's leaving American Idol. There used to be two reasons to watch this show: whether or not Paula Abdul would say something intelligible, and waiting for Cowell to insult somebody. So how much longer does this show stay on the air now?

25. Now that Big Love has ruined it's opening credit sequence, the best credit sequence on TV is now definitely Chuck.

Where Have All The Sea Lions Gone?

I just saw a story that the sea lions have disappeared from San Francisco. That's kind of disappointing. I'm not a kid, obviously, but whenever I went to San Francisco, one of my favorite things was to make the walk to Fisherman's Wharf and Pier 39 and just spend an hour or so watching the sea lions.

There's plenty of other things to do in San Francisco, of course, and I can't wait to get back again. But it's just going to seem kind of strange not seeing the sea lions anymore.

EPIC FAIL = Houston Chronicle Once Again

MLB.com's Brian McTaggart is currently tweeting that the Astros have reached a deal with free agent pitcher Brett Myers, formerly with the Philadelphia Phillies. An interesting item to note is that, as of write now -- 3:59 p.m. -- the sports page of Houston's so-called leading info source more closely resembles the sports page of the Austin American-Statesman as it's all UT Longhorns, all the time.

Once again, EPIC FAIL on part of the Houston Chronicle. Maybe someday they'll devote themselves to covering actual Houston sports news again.

Well, If It Works For The Rev. Rick

So I'm temporarily un-temporarily employed again. Which means that I need a way to make some money. And I think I've found that way, and it's a purpose driven way, and I want to thank Pastor Rick Warren, for it's Warren latest scam that has clued me on what to do.

For those who missed it, right around New Year's, Warren issued a plea to his follower's in which he pleaded for $900,000 to overcome a budget shortfall at his church. And somehow, the sheep who follow him gave him $2.4 million.

So, I'm issuing this plea to you, my readers. I'm unemployed. I've got medical bills to pay. And rent. And general living expenses. And if I don't get work soon, which it's looking like I won't, then I, like the Rev. Rick, am going to suffer from a severe budget shortfall.

So I'm asking, I'm pleading, for your contributions. I don't need $900,000. But $10,000 should be fine. Just send me a note. I'll be glad to tell you how to get the money to me. And unlike with Rev. Rick, you know this money will be going to a good cause -- ME.

The Baseball Writers Screw Up Their Hall of Fame Votes Yet Again

Well, I can't wait to see how the idiots who vote for the Baseball Hall of Fame explain themselves this time. The only person inducted was Andre Dawson, and he just barely got in. For some reason, Roberto Alomar and Barry Larkin -- not only two of the best players of the 1990s, but also among the greatest ever at their position -- did not get enough votes.

You've got to wonder, sometimes, if the people who vote on the Hall of Fame ever actually watch baseball? Did they never watch Roberto Alomar glide around the bag at second. When Craig Biggio was healthy, he was a good defensive second baseman, but he had nothing on Alomar. And I know that Biggio's got that 3000 hits thing going in his favor, but if Alomar can't get in on the first ballot, then Craig Biggio better not get in on the first ballot because Alomar was better than Biggio.

And Larkin was a fast, wide-ranging, power-hitting shortstop several years before Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez hit the big leagues. He played better defense than Cal Ripken, and if not for being in the same league with Ozzie Smith for many, many years, he would probably have been seen as the best shortsop in the NL for his defensive abilities.

I hope that those writers who didn't vote for Alomar or Larkin are outed and that their email boxes are flooded with notes of contempt. Because that's what they deserve.

Why Dale Murphy Deserves To Be In The Baseball Hall of Fame

The Baseball Hall of Fame inductees will be announced in about 30 minutes. And I know that my favorite player as a kid, and one that I've been pushing for the Hall for a long time, is not going to get in, again. That player is Dale Murphy who had the misfortune of spending most of his career on one of the worst teams in baseball, the 1980s-era Atlanta Braves.

When the Chron's Jesus Ortiz let me in on his voting last year, the one guy I pitched over everybody was Murhpy, who I felt was more deserving than Jim Rice, who did get in. And I might have helped with that as Ortiz was going with a majority from five of us, and I said if Murphy would get the vote, then I would go with Rice. The group then went with Murphy and Rice, and Rice got in, and Murphy is still waiting.

Anyway, SI.com's Joe Posnanski, one of the best baseball writers in the business, feels the same way I do about Murphy. And in discussing the ballot he case for the Hall this year, he discusses why he voted for Murphy. It's a good read -- on all of the candidates -- so I suggest you read it. Even though I do disagree about Bert Blyleven.

Musings On The Electricity of The Big Unit

So Randy Johnson retired yesterday. I'll let others discuss the greatness of this tall, skinny lefty who won 303 games, threw 4,875 strikeouts (2nd only to Nolan Ryan's 5,714), won five Cy Youngs, tossed two no-hitters (one a perfect game), and completed 100 games. I think he's one of the best to ever play -- better than the Rocket -- but I want to discuss something else.

I want to discuss those two-and-a-half months when he was a Houston Astro in 1998. And as someone who was working those games, I can't say enough over how electric the Astrodome was during those games when he was pitched. The Big Unit only pitched 11 regular season games for Houston that season, but he went 10-1 and threw four complete games. His ERA was 1.28 -- keep in mind, this was the year that Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa were breaking the single season home run record and seemingly every batter was roiding up and launching bombs out of every ballpark). He pitched 84.1 innings -- nearly eight innings a game. He gave up only 57 hits and 12 runs while striking out 116 batters.

And the Dome sold out every game he pitched. The Astros had been to the playoffs in 1997. And Craig Biggio and Jeff Bagwell were at their prime. The 1998 squad was the best squad the Astros ever fielded (though I would also listen to arguments about the 1994 squad and the 1980 squad), but they played to 20-30,000 people every night. Then Johnson came to town, and the place was packed. Not even Nolan Ryan, in his years on the team, was able to pack the Dome like that.

Like I said, this was the year of Sosa and McGwire, and the Dome was packed when they were in town and people would show up to watch batting practice -- Drayton would actually open the gates early so people could go in and watch -- but they were just there in hopes of seeing a home run. But when Randy Johnson pitched, the crowd hung on every pitch. They were in the game from the very first pitch to the very last out. And they didn't need the damn scoreboard to tell them when to chair.

I worked the Astros games from 1988 through the end of the 2001 season. And nothing, nothing, tops that 1998 season and that short time that Randy Johnson was a Houston Astros. And I'm sure he'll go into the Hall of Fame as a Seattle Mariner or an Arizona Diamondback, but I'm always going to remember him as a Houston Astro.

Did You Work For The Denver Broncos: Then Come On Down

It appears that "boy genius" Kyle Shanahan is leaving the Texans to go work for his daddy in Washington. Which has started the search for another offensive coordinator in Houston. According to the Chron, the names at the top of the list are former Oiler Hall of Famer Mike Munchak, Broncos offensive line coach Rick Dennison, Falcons QB coach Bill Musgrave, and Chiefs offensive coordinator Chan Gailey.

Being that this is Gary Kubiak, there's a question that needs to be asked. Just what do these guys have in common. Well, except for Munchak, they all worked with Kubiak in Denver. And as we've seen, Kubiak generally hires just about anybody who has some kind of connection to the Broncos. Which means Munchak can probably forget about the job.

I'm fine with Munchak not getting the OC job. But am I the only one around here who thinks that the guy who has been the offensive line coach for the Tennessee Titans the past several years -- one of the best lines in football -- should be hired to handle the offensive line. I know, if this happens, Richard Justice will go on and on and on about the genius that is Alex Gibbs. But has anybody seen any improvement in the Texans running game since Gibbs has been around? It's easy to blame the running backs, but maybe, just maybe, it's the coaching of the lineman. Maybe, just maybe, that Gibbs cut-block scheme just doesn't work anymore.

Then again, Munchak never worked or played for the Broncos. So there's no way that Gary Kubiak is going to give him a job of any importance.

Up In The Air Soars To The Top

I've been meaning to write about Up In The Air since seeing the movie last week. I've actually put together a list of the best movies of the year, which I've been meaning to write, but haven't yet, and this movie is at the absolute top of the list.

There has been much written about this movie by the paid critics, but I just wanted to add my two cents for what that's worth -- which is probably less than two cents. The movie is centered around George Clooney's character who flies about the country firing people for companies that are too chicken to do it on his own. And he lives a bit of a life of isolation -- traveling over 300 days a year. His goal is to become the seventh person to ever earn 10 million frequent flier miles on American Airlines -- along with all of the perks to that go with that (a friend who works with Continental assures me that this is real, though Continental's is triggered by 4 million miles).

Over the course of the movie, he comes to realize how empty his life, the philosophy by which he's been living his life, really is. And just as he sees a chance of redemption -- just as he's getting that redemption as he's discovered the lies of his life -- the redemption is yanked away.

Not to go all psychological, but this movie got to me. I love travel. And I really liked my old job when it was deemed that I was too important to be in the office and that I had to travel for months at a time. The travel made me seem important. And like I actually belonged and fit in with a group of a people. But I'm getting to an age where it's too late to make life changes, and just like Clooney's character, I've learned that it's all just a lie. Everything.

But I'm getting too serious. There are dramatic elements to the movie, lots. But there's also a lot of good character driven comedy, along with some hot women. And no movie has ever done better of capturing just why it is a person could fall in love with airports and travel and hotels. (And I totally agree with Clooney's character when it comes to which airport security line to choose.)

Another Mediocre Texans Season: Mission Accomplished

The Chron tells us today that the Texans are playing for the pride of a historic season -- a historic season meaning that the team actually gets a winning record. So earlier this season, against Seattle, they played to save Gary Kubiak's job. And now they're playing for the chance to get a 9-7 record. (And maybe it's just me, but the talk is that the Patriots starters will only play a couple of series, and to me, getting a winning record by beating a squad of scrubs is not really the same beating a Tom Brady led squad actually trying to win a game.)

Maybe it's miss, but I really wish this team would get its act together and play for something important -- getting to the Super Bowl. How about they show up on game one and play like all 16 games really matter because that would actually mean they care about accomplishing something other than mediocrity. Because to me, for a non-playoff team -- and it's going to take a miracle for the Texans to make the playoffs -- finishing at 9-7 is just the same as finishing at 8-8, or 7-9. It's being mediocre.

And I'm sick of Houston teams being happy with being mediocre. Take the Astros who are always more concerned with staying on the edge of the wild card than with actually winning the division. And the Texans want to be happy with a winning record. (The Rockets are a notable exception to this rule, yet of all of the Houston sports team owners, Les Alexander, who owns the Rockets, is the least liked. I just can't figure this out.)

Meanwhile, on CBS today, Charley Casserly said that not only would Gary Kubiak be back next season, he would be getting a contract extension. What has he done to earn a contract extension? Seriously? Come on? Giving Kubiak an extension sounds like Bob McNair is giving a big F-you to the season ticket holders.

New Year's Day

Being as it's New Year's Day, I thought a song/video would be appropriate. So here's U2 with "New Year's Day."


And is it just me, or does The Edge look to be about 14 or 15 in this performance?